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Tale of the Iron Emperor

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Getus, Dec 27, 2016.

  1. Getus

    Getus The Senate

    Ky
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    Philosopher's CowlReaper Cloth ★★★Psychium Z ★★★★Great Ball ★★Cooler Gary Oak ★★★★★
    Hey guys! So I've had this idea in my head for the past couple of days and I finally decided to sit down a write, to avoid potentially spoiling anything though I'm going to keep these little notes small. Anyway hope you enjoy reading this and please let me know any errors you discover and any improvements you believe can be made

    Prologue
    A large scroll floats through the dark nothingness with only silence to accompany it's journey, until a voice began to echo through the area.


    "Allow me to tell you a story. You see, there's this not so little world called Earth and in this world there are hundreds of different species that thrive and grow, all adapting and discovering their place in life. At the top of these species is one called, Humanity." The voice released a small, humour filled chuckle, "But humanity you see, they are a selfish race who only focus on their own development. This has brought about the extinction of those who would stand in humanities way to the top, and when they ran out of enemies what did they do? They turned on each other bringing wars upon wars that drove humanity to the brink of their own destruction."


    The scroll unfolded itself revealing a map that shows signs of ageing as crinkles, tears and burns cover the parchment. On this map several landmasses were drawn out.


    "Eventually humanities once large empire became splintered and from ashes nations rose, out of them four stood out as the greatest, the first of these nations became known as the great shield, the name comes from the fact this kingdom stands on the edge of the known regions of our world, standing as a grand defender for the other nations, to focus on this they ignore the other nations. The second kingdom to rise became to economic and scientific powerhouse of our world, their scientists and their nobles work closely to improve daily life for those living within the nations.


    Next is the military power of the world, called the Sword of Gaia. Despite its offensive prowess this nation is the most approachable to other nations. Then there is the secretive, aquatic nation that, like the description would make you think, lies beneath the sea's with the entrance closely monitored by its people.
    These nations, in order, are Bastion, Stadt von Stahl, Astoria and Atlantis. These nations rose to their power because of one thing, the war that destroyed everything also created something amazing. People began to be born with amazing powers, ranging from the ability to control the elements to being able to fly and with this abilities the four nations grew in size and power."


    Suddenly the map began to burn away until only the nation of Astoria remained, "A few years ago a new emperor was crowned in the nation of Stadt von Stahl, not much was known about him but soon after Stadt von Stahl began to invade the smaller nations around it putting to world on notice for an act of aggression like this hadn't been seen since the war that destroyed everything. Eventually, they invaded Atlantis. Before anyone could react the nation had been conquered and consumed that the grown Empire of Steel as it became known. Astoria was the next target, and after consuming the majority of the nation a miracle happened. A warrior of unimaginable skill stepped onto the battlefield and single handily pushed back the invaders, pushing them off their land. This warrior became a hero described as a hero of light, warrior of the celestials. It wasn't a surprise to some, after all this man was next in line for the throne, yes this was the prince of Astoria."


    The map vanishes as the darkness recedes, pushed back by the light that reveals a tall figure. Covered in golden armour that blends well with his long golden hair, the man stared out at the world beneath him with hard hazel eyes. "But this story is not about that man, no. For that man, has lived his story, no it is time for another."
    The man vanished revealing a small yellow haired boy lying on the ground with a large grin on his face, staring into the sky with twinkling blue eyes, "This is a story, about how a young man journeyed into a dark world in search for answers and revenge and how he brought change. This is my story, and why did I talk about that man you ask? Because he was my brother. I say was because... Well I'll let you see."


    Chapter 1: Brothers

    "Big brother! Where are you!" A concerned voice echoed through the forest as a young man of 15 quickly paced along the forest floor, his blue eyes squinted as they peered into the shadowy treeline. Scoffing in annoyance, the man began to speed up his walking, "I swear if this one of his other challenges I'm going to-"
    An amused chuckle made the boy aware of a presence behind him, causing him to freeze up, "Oh? And what were you going to do, little brother?" A deep, amused voice revealed the identity of the presence to the boy, causing him to spin around in relief.


    "Big brother, there you are! Where were you!" Before he could continue you train on questions, he was cut short as a large palm landed itself on his head before ruffling his hair. Suddenly the once caring gesture became violent as the palm began to squeeze the boys head, causing him to wince.
    "Don't ignore the question, what were you going to do?" The man lowered himself to his knees so he was the same height as the boy, relieving the pressure on his head but not removing his hand, "Where you going to what? Beat me up?" A grin appeared on the man's face, his hazel eyes twinkling in amusement, as the boy shakily nodded, "And how well did that go for you last time?"


    Stuttering his answer out the boy replied, "N-not so w-well." In response, his brother tutted before walking away.


    "No. No it did not, perhaps you should focus on your studies instead of trying to beat me." The taunt about his repeated failures causes the boys previous nervousness to all but vanish, in its place a sneer appeared on the boys face with anger in his eyes. Unable to stop himself the boy charged at the older man with a cry, only to miss his attack the man span out of the way with a laugh, "Try harder, Vincent! Do not let you opponent know of your attack ahead of time!" Stepping back to avoid another swipe from his brother, the older man quickly lashed out and gripped the boy's wrist causing his anger to die out. "Perhaps we can try this later, little brother. I'm sure mother will have dinner finished soon."


    Grumbling in annoyance, the now named Vincent began to walk alongside his older brother. The two walked in silence until Vincent spoke up, "Hey, Gabriel, you never did tell me what you were doing in the forest?" Gabriel continued to walk, seemingly ignoring his brother until he glanced down at him with harsh eyes that were accompanied by a gentle smile, "I suggest you ignore that, after all it's important you learn when not to involve yourself in others business, Vincent."


    Blinking in confusion, Vincent nodded in agreement before the two continued their journey in silence. Despite the seemingly peaceful day, with the sun clear in the sky and the nature surrounding them, Vincent couldn't help the feeling that something was wrong, 'Brother, why are you so secretive lately?'
     
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  2. Megarai111

    Megarai111 Elizabeth 3rd

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    Your story is off to an interesting start! You have a nice, detailed writing style and good pacing, and I only noticed a few grammar mistakes here and there. I wonder what else you have planned for it!
    I'll be looking forward to hearing more about it :3
     
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  3. Getus

    Getus The Senate

    Ky
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    Philosopher's CowlReaper Cloth ★★★Psychium Z ★★★★Great Ball ★★Cooler Gary Oak ★★★★★
    Took forever to finish this, and many restarts. Honestly any plan I had when starting this kinda got screwy as more idea's popped up, eventually though I got some sort of plan sorted but it meant i had to do a time skip into the main events of the story instead of slowly going into them. So if it seems rushed, it's because it kinda was, but I'll try to add some sort of flashback that shows why Vincent is so attached to his brother. Anyway, I present to thee chapter 2:

    Awakening

    It's funny, you know, when I was a child the only thing I cared about was my brother and making him proud. I worshipped him in a way, probably because he took up the role of a father after we lost ours in the war. I never told him that though... If only I got the chance.

    The nation of Astoria is a rather green, greener than one would expect when talking about the deadliest nation in the world. Nature combined seamlessly with civilization. Towns hid inside forests, rivers being used in creative methods that no other nation would consider. Truly it was the picture of what the world should look like. Perfection. Heaven on earth.

    If that was Heaven on Earth, then what would it be called if it was burning? Hell, that is how a now 17-year-old Vincent would describe the world currently as he fled through the forests of Astoria, tears falling from his eyes. His gasps of panic drowned out by the sounds of crashing and rushing flames. Just as Vincent was approaching a river, his feet gave out from under him causing him to tumble onto the rocks that the river flows through. The impact onto the hard surface caused Vincent's panicked gasping to turn into muffed whimpers.

    Shakily getting to his feet, Vincent was about to begin his careful journey through the rivers rushing currents only to stop in his tracks as he heard the sound of gears turning and the snapping of branches. Spinning on his heels, Vincent fell backwards with terror etched on his face. In front of him, a mechanical monster rolled out of the forest, its wheels trapped behind some form of belt that rotated with the wheels. The monsters body was in the form of a metal box, and on top of that box lay the monsters head. Hexagonal in shape, the beast had a long metallic snout sprouting from its face. A snout that Vincent has witnessed obliterated groups of his fellow Astorian's.

    "N-no.." Vincent weakly exclaimed as he crawled away from the monster. Suddenly Vincent felt a sharp pain in his back as he backed into one of the boulders that were used to redirect the flow of the river for use by the Astorians. Realizing the no matter how he tried to escape, Vincent wouldn't get far he closed his eyes in despair. 'Brother, I'm sorry I couldn't avenge you' Vincent thought to himself as he remembered his pledge only hours ago as he watched his brother sacrifice himself for his little brother. Suddenly Vincent heard a mocking laugh come from inside the metal beast.

    "Aww, look at the little wimp." From the top of the beast, a lanky figure emerged. Through his blurry vision, Vincent was able to make out some sort of military outfit that he recognised from his brothers lessons on the worlds history.

    'Stadt von Stahl... They're at fault for this?' Suddenly a deep rage awakened inside Vincent, a rage that would stay with him for many years to come. A feeling that would fuel his quest for revenge and his decisions from now own, and a feeling that would grant Vincent his saving grace today.

    Glaring at the figure and his monster, that he was convinced was some sort of Iron Elephant, Vincent let out a scream of outrage causing the figure to jerk in surprise. "I'll kill you!" Vincent cried out as he forced himself to his feet. His declaration only got another laugh from the figure.

    "You'll kill me? Boy you wouldn't even get through this tank." Hearing the name of the mechanical beast, Vincent grinned.

    "So, that's what it's called? I'll remember it as I burn your nation to the ground!" With that declaration, Vincent roared as flashes of light appearing around his body, and from these lights different weapons began to form from nothing. Swords, spears, hammers and even giant arrows appeared around the 17 year old boy. With a triumphant laugh, the weapons flew forward colliding with the tank. After the explosion of dust settled, all that was left was a mangled tank with swords, spears and arrows stick out from the wreckage. Then the weapons began to crumble into particles that rose into the air with sparkles that made the otherwise destructive sight, seem almost magical.

    The last thing Vincent heard was the sound of crunching rocks and a shout of surprise.

    "I found a survivor! Quick, he needs medical attention!"

    With that, Vincent blacked out with a single tear and thought, 'Brother...'
     

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