Fanfiction Can Someone Critique Me Please?

I'll see if I have some time during the night alright? =)

 

I'd be happy to help, but you seem to have me blocked on FFN. This is fine, since I don't mind people blocking me to avoid my reviews, but it does make me feel unable to offer any advice here either. If you change your mind and decide that you do want my input, then please let me know. Otherwise, I wish you good luck with your story!

 

At first, before getting to your region descriptions, I'm not going to lie, I was like "geez, seven fakemon regions? Probably six of these are going to be bland hot garbage." Completely honestly, I like every one of these regions, I smiled at all of their names, and although the traveling companions are formulaic, I even like what I know of them so far.

I've only gotten through the first chapter (nominally chapter 2), and it's been a looong time since I've seen the Pokémon anime, but this seems pretty legit so far. I really appreciate how you don't waste my attention as a reader with really minute details of the random bullies and other unnecessary factoids, since that's one of my bigger gripes with most writers. I'll try to keep that tab open and get back to you with more feedback as I progress!

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had trouble with trolls in the past, but I'm afraid that you've been misinformed about me. If I'd wanted to troll you, then there are plenty of ways to get around blocks on FFN. Instead, I respected your block and will continue to do so. My only aim is helping authors improve and, if they aren't interested, then I simply move along and leave them alone.

I'm not interested in getting you to unblock me - I just want you to have me blocked because you've read my explanations, seen my reviews and decided that they're not for you, not just because you heard some exaggerated and misleading accusations on FFN.

 

There's a public record of my reviews here, so you can see for yourself what kinds of things I normally comment on when reviewing. If you still feel like this kind of advice is what you're after, then I should have some free time either tomorrow or on Tuesday to read and review your story.

 

That's completely fine and thank you for being clear with me. I'll try to remember your name in case I come across your work in the future, but you might want to re-block me (if you haven't already) for your peace of mind.

 

On the critique, moving forward to nominal Chapter 2, I'm pleased by a sense of nostalgia I'm getting from this. Your story progression seems to be believable for what the Pokémon Anime really is, contrary to a lot of FF I read which has me wondering "there's no way ____ would react that way".

Other than some tiny grammar/formatting things which are really easy to get past (just small things like using double quotation marks where single might be arguably more appropriate, or using si in Spanish when sí is the way to say "yes"), this is some very good work. I know I'm only in Chapter 2 so far, but have you written much of the other regions apart from Zooks yet?