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☆ Friends & Friendship ☆

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Sheep, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. Sheep

    Sheep Supporter

    Xerneas Egg
    (Xerneas Egg)
    Level 10
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    How are you with keeping friendships? Do you prefer having fewer friends, or are you someone who maintains a large group of friends? How often do you 'hang out' with your friends and when you do, are you mostly in smaller or larger groups? And bonus question if you guys are interested: Who is your closest friend? How long have you known them, and how did you meet?
     
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  2. colours

    colours » seedFLARE

    Larvitar
    (Larvitar)
    Level 78
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    Friend Ball ★★★★Dawn Stone ★★★★Leaf Stone ★★★Grassium Z ★★★★Waterium Z ★★★★
    I'm going to be honest here: I don't think I've genuinely hung out with my irl best friends in like.. at least a bit more than half a decade.

    I'm the type of person that keeps to myself a lot. I go to work, go home, and game and surf the internet and go to bed kind of thing. It used to be easier to forge friendships when I was in college, but ever since I've had to forcibly take two semesters off, it's not been so easy.
     
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  3. awney

    awney i'm lame

    Hoopa Egg
    (Hoopa Egg)
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    Legendary Triforce ★★
    I tend to keep very few close friends around. I don't really hang out with my friends that much. Too busy with school. I've known my closest friend for 6 years, and met her in marching band.
     
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  4. Eclipse

    SkittleBox
    (Staryu)
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    Marshadium Z ★★★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Comet Shard ★★★★Mewnium Z  ★★★★★
    For me, addressing someone as 'friend' is a rather serious affair. It implies that I'm willing to spend a lot of time with that person and investing in him or her, and that said person is also willing to do the same for me. Due to that, I have very many acquaintances whom I interact with fairly regularly, but relatively few friends. This applies whether I'm at LV or not.

    Having a large amount of friends at once isn't tenable, because I only have so much time available to spend with people, and the more my time is spread out, the less valuable it becomes. Due to that, I have a smaller network of closer friends, rather than a larger network of fair-weather ones.

    Many of my friends I've made over the Internet, as I don't go to many social gatherings often (probably once a week), and I need at least some sort of interaction to fill in the interim time. Naturally, the Internet removes the distance barrier that can be a great inhibitor, and allows me the choice to have as many or few friends as I please.
     
    FireSpartan5 likes this.
  5. Laserdragon14

    Laserdragon14 Dragon Maverick

    Falchion
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    Flame Orb ★★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Poké Ball ★Trainer Card - Cave Theme
    I prefer to have fewer friends since it is easier to keep up with what they are doing, and most of the people that I see at places where I usually make my friends are the kind that gets on my nerves. On the internet, I can get along with more kinds of people since I basically choose freely to go hang out with them, so I make more friends there. I met my best friend during Literature class when we had free time, and I was allowed to play my Megaman Battle Network on the GBA. He asked about it and it just sort of happened after that.
     
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  6. luxuryluxray

    luxuryluxray make a wish!

    Grass
    (Tangela)
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    Ice Stone ★★★★Water Stone ★★★Charizardite X ★★★★Waterium Z ★★★★Comet Shard ★★★★
    It takes me a long time to open up to people, so I guess I don't give myself the opportunity to make many friends. Because of this, most of the people I'm close to are family. I've adapted to a pretty solitary lifestyle though, so I'm okay with that.

    I met my best friend almost 4 years ago. We still talk to each other pretty much every day even though she lives in another state. I do have a handful of other friends, but I don't feel like we're that close. It's funny how I feel more connected with someone I haven't seen in 2 years than with the friends I see every week.
     
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  7. Dawn

    Dawn La vie est drôle

    Cresselia
    (Cresselia)
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    I am terrible at even making friends, never mind keeping them. The longer I'm around others the more they tend to dislike me...or just get bored of me. Accusations of "you're too negative" are often flung in my face, along with general frustration that I won't confide in them, amongst other things. A friendship with me is a very one-sided affair: I never share personal information, I rarely initiate conversation, and I just don't trust others. Trust is crucial in any kind of relationship, and earning my trust is far too much trouble for other people to want to bother. I'm generally a very difficult person, too...or an unsatisfying one. Often both. I refuse to compromise myself for others, and their general unwillingness to accept this if they want to get closer to me for god knows what reason has always caused friction.

    I've had plenty of people consider me a friend, but that's primarily because I'm a good listener, and I'm not especially confrontational or anything...I mean, I don't have any reason to be hostile about things, because none of it is personal. But my general apathy towards it is typically enough for people to assume reciprocation, or assume that they "know" me. Although the truth of the matter is that I haven't really considered anyone a friend since my early teens. There's just too much risk and no real benefits...people drift out of your life anyway, and if it isn't going to last then what's the point? I don't like the idea of being a momentary convenience, or a phase people will eventually outgrow when they find other people they like more, or when I stop meeting their invisible unstated criterion for what it is to be a friend.

    Not only that, but I don't really like being subject to other people's expectations, and I refuse to force my own on them. Friendship is an obligation I'm just not prepared to engage in; it rests on a lot of unspoken assumptions and half-truths that are enforced more strictly than most legally binding contracts. Which people might think is a messed-up perspective, but when you really think about it...friendship is nothing but trouble. Friends expect or demand you tell them everything. Friends want things from you, and put immense pressure on you to conform to their personal beliefs about you as a person. Friendship is a selfish, one-sided concept that is about what other people think of you, with no regard for what you think of them...and vice versa, I suppose. Which is generally why I refuse to entertain the idea. I don't like how other people see me, and I don't want to treat them the same way they treat me.

    I know this is my "problem" rather than down to other people: there are plenty of people out there who have tried to be my friend, or are willing to be. There are probably still people around who would consider me a friend, despite having been around me for protracted periods of time. I guess I'm just not comfortable in such a dynamic, and really people should be glad I don't consider them friends - my standards are far too high for them to ever be able to meet to my satisfaction, and they can get all the benefits of interacting with me without having to worry about it. Most people really don't care about reciprocation of feelings; they want what they want and that is that.

    One thing I've noticed about other people is that they really don't care what I think or feel in reality: their assumptions have always been good enough. If they consider me a friend, then I must feel the same way, because that's how it works. So really it doesn't matter whether I think I have friends or not - they're going to be forced on me either way, if other people decide to take an interest in me for whatever reason. Which, really...I don't honestly mind? People can't force me to trust them, no matter what they think. Don't ask, don't tell, I guess...and far be it for me to presume to tell others what to think or feel.

    When I was in school/College/University, I actively went out of my way to avoid people because I just didn't feel comfortable around them outside of work-related matters. Everyone I used to know is split up across the country now, and I don't see them or keep in touch...and if I was invited to something I would almost certainly decline politely anyway. I'm generally consistent regardless of how I'm interacting with others. I keep myself to myself unless I'm approached, and everyone is happier that way: people can use me whenever they need to for whatever they need to, and I don't have to take any unnecessary risks by trusting people with personal information they would almost certainly misuse.

    So, yeah. I have no friends. But I'm a lot happier, a lot safer, this way - I can talk to whoever I please with no attachment whatsoever, and we can have fantastic, no-strings-attached conversations. People can treat me however they feel the need to and I really don't care at all. I have always felt trapped and miserable in friendships with others. I'm better off without the concept in my life.
     
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    #7 Jan 17, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2018
  8. ShinigamiMiroku

    Sorceress' Knight
    (Ralts ♂)
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    Red Orb ★★★★★
    I'm like @Eclipse - I have a number of acquaintances, but few people I consider a 'friend', and the two closest friends I have don't even live in the same state that I do. However, because I've learned to begin trusting in people again and being able to share my fears and weaknesses without fear of repercussion, that number has slowly grown. I still prefer small groups as opposed to large groups, but it's alright.
     
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  9. Pokémist

    Pokémist Trashcan

    smol heart
    (Luvdisc)
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    Tapunium Z ★★★★★Decidium Z ★★★★★Love Ball ★★★★★Trainer Card - Cave Theme
    I've divided my friends into three grouos- friends, good friends and best friends. Same criteria is followed in real life. I dont have much friends irl but if we tslk about online I've lots of friends.
    Most of online people are just friends to me. I pretty much make everyone my friend so its like having a daily convo and just casually talking. Good friends and best friends holds the real importance to me.
    Someone who understand me and I feel like I can trust them and someone I can be myself and share my things are my good friends. People who I completely trust and feel nice with them counts in best friends. This is all online.
    if I talk about my real life, I dont make much friends and no one really is in good friends and best friend category.
     
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  10. Beffie

    Beffie clear your cache

    beautiful and perfect
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    Crown of ValorDawn Stone ★★★★GS Ball ★★★★★Gardevoirite ★★★★Cooler Gary Oak ★★★★★
    I'm really bad with opening up to new friends, but when I do start to know them it's pretty clear if we work together or not. The few friends I have both in my actual life and online are ones I cherish so much I can't even explain. Most of my friends are also artists and we exchange art tips and such, but mostly shitposts because most of my friends are chronic shitposters.

    I used to be more open to friendships but something happened 2 years ago that I don't like to reflect on too much. Regardless, the friends I have are ones I would never trade in for anything.
     
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  11. Morgaine

    Morgaine Goddess of Shinies

    Bolero
    (Litleo ♀)
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    Crown of ValorSoothe Bell ★Heart Scale ★★Ice Stone ★★★★
    It took a while for me to truly open up to having friends dur to being bullied a lot during my childhood. But now I have a great circle of friends and I am very happy.
     
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  12. Cherry3Fairy

    Kantoni
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    My closest friend is V. She is so special for me, I can't even tell you! We met almost two years ago at tuition class, at first I didn't like her much, but then after few days, she got close to me. After weeks, she was the closest to me, I didn't even know! We are besties and always will be, I bet~ God bless our friendship~!
    IMG-20170905-WA0015.jpg
     
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    ShinigamiMiroku likes this.
  13. Skittle

    Skittle daijoubu

    Swablu
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    Comet Shard ★★★★Dawn Stone ★★★★Love Ball ★★★★★Galladite ★★★★Whipped Dream ★★★★
    Unlike my sister, I find it very easy to hit off a friendship and then it's a game of how long we're gonna last. Sometimes you get people like The Girl I Hate, which that friendship only lasted a year or so, to another childhood friend that used to go to church with me I'm still very close to. Usually it's my friends and sister that open my up to new friends, like a girl at our table I'm already getting to know well and in return im dragging her into idol hell wheeeee and enjoy hanging around with. The demographic I'm best at connecting with? Nerdy guys for some reason.

    Online? Hella easy. I'm just so laid-back and it's easier to talk on the internet.

    Now about my best friend, my senior. I met her in my freshman year during band camp, and she was a junior. She was the flute section leader and I was just so clueless I was like a little duckling, following her like ducks do when they imprint on things. From there, we became really close friends and I became friends with other people who hung around her. She was the one who made me realize that I wasn't straight (she dropped the term aromantic, don't get the wrong idea) and she helped me start doing solo contests and other band things. She's in college now, but she still comes by to visit sometimes which I appreciate greatly.
     
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  14. Laserdragon14

    Laserdragon14 Dragon Maverick

    Falchion
    (Honedge)
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    Flame Orb ★★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Poké Ball ★Trainer Card - Cave Theme
    I usually can only keep a small group of friends at a time, 2 or 3 at the most. So I only hang out with that said group of friends and maybe one of my friends' friends would come with us.
    My closest friend that I've had I met around 5 years ago, during a reading class and he came up to me and asked about the game I was playing, which was Megaman Battle Network 6 on the Gameboy Advanced SP. It took awhile for us to actually start talking in a regular basis but at some point, it happened.
     
  15. Pikachushua

    Mew
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    I don't have or make friends they get in the way of my world domination plans (just joshin you I don't really plan on taking over the world.) Seriously though I have a few friends at my local library
     

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