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Control.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Eclipse, Mar 22, 2016.

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  1. Eclipse

    SkittleBox
    (Staryu)
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    Marshadium Z ★★★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Comet Shard ★★★★Mewnium Z  ★★★★★
    Uncertainty about the future is something unavoidable, yet it's not something all people readily accept.
    Meeting people that are much unlike us is something unavoidable, yet it's not something all people readily accept.
    Unplanned and unprepared emergencies are something unavoidable, yet it's not something all people readily accept.
    And other people making their own decisions is something unavoidable...yet it's not something all people readily accept.

    So to mitigate risk from these kinds of occurrences, and others, we seek to control our own environments. We choose the places we go. We choose the friends we have. We select the activities we do. We choose how to spend our time. To some extent or another, we will try or attempt to control any or every aspect of our lives that we possibly can, in our drive to make things just so, or put in a way you might find more familiar, "just the way I like it".

    There is no one that doesn't do this, so what I'd like to ask of you is: what kind of things do you exert more control of over others? What things do you care more about, that you don't want to change or mess up? What things are most vital for you to remain a certain way? Also, in addition to the measure or strength of control you exert, what things do you do or say in order to exert that control?

    This isn't a question with any obvious answer, so I recommend you to take your time and think about the things you try to cherish and retain the most. Rather than giving people a specific form on how to answer this question, I left it rather open-ended on purpose. So I won't answer right away - I'll wait until a few others have posted, then I'll share my answer to this question.
     
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  2. ✯Ho-OhLugia✯

    ✯Ho-OhLugia✯ Pokemon Masters

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    I try to control as much as I can, but in the end, there is always somebody watching me, ready to make their move and pounce at my actions, willing to rebuke me for it when I am at school. Having something to control makes me feel powerful. I'm glad I can control myself, and I always strive for self-control, because in no instance would I like to perform a hurtful action that was not my intention. However, many people make me angry and... I may yell at people in some cases. Nonetheless, controlling my actions, as well as my environment is a quality I am happy to have.

    I try to control myself first of all, to ensure that I am not a hazard to anybody's health or emotions. Sometimes, I have a tendency to argue with others to try to keep a conversation friendly or prevent the future breaking of friendships, or when I find that somebody is saying something against my beliefs, such as a certain action is wrong or that your appearance doesn't define who you are.

    About change, sometimes I wish I can go back to the past. When I was small, I had such a wonderful life, carefree, without a worry of this world that is only getting worse. But, I have no control over that. I cannot go back to the days when my family was happy and there wasn't much sadness. Back when I had lots of friends, and friends who cared about me. Today, when I was having a nap, I looked at a picture of my mum and I started to cry a little bit. But we can only go forward, eh? After all, animals are starting to get their rights.

    I also want a control over my personality. I never do want to change along with the times. I'm glad I was able to stay the way I was since I was in kindergarten! I've been told by many people that I should never change, and I'm glad I had the capacity to keep myself the way I was, despite the difficulties.
     
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  3. 8542Madness

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    I find that the one thing that is best to control is people. If you control just a few people, you can use their influence to further control more people, spreading your sphere of influence and increasing the weight of your word. It's an exponential growth of your personal power.

    I want to first and foremost protect people. The more power I have over others (or at least, the more they think I have power over them), the easier it is to protect people. My method is simple. First, acquire personal power. Lay down your roots, if you will. Spread your influence to the point where you undoubtedly have the trust of everyone and control over them. Then, and this is where my method is unique, make those people more powerful. A common flaw in the mindset of people who want power is that they need to directly have this power for them and them alone. This is false. It's far smarter to spread strength among allies. That way, you always have someone to fall back on and rely on when you need to, and they will help you without question because you gave them strength. This makes everyone as a whole stronger, with you being the strongest simply because you benefit from the power of the collective that obeys you. This way, the community is safe and protected.

    As far as things I'll say and do, there are honestly no limits. I will say or do whatever I deem necessary. If that means I need to lie, then I will. If it means I need to manipulate people, then I will. I consider it simply a lesser of evils. If, in the long run, my actions make everyone stronger, then I will not hesitate to do whatever is necessary. I'll be the villain, even. Some people consider this method to be cruel and inhumane. I don't necessarily disagree. Sometimes, it's just what has to be done. I take no pride in that.
     
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  4. Megarai111

    Megarai111 Elizabeth 3rd

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    I am one with the wish to control what she encounters in her life as much as possible. I can deal with a little change, but a lot of change (especially when my current situation was really great) often causes me to have a bit of a mental breakdown. I believe that if my life is fine as it is right now, I shouldn't have to leave my current situation. This might not be a healthy thing to believe, but as long as I have fun and know I'm enjoying myself, I think it only makes sense for one to not want to move on and risk losing that all. I simply cannot move on with ease without being in a situation I know could be better.
     
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  5. Doomhound

    Doomhound
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    I've always had a knack for bending things enough to make my world comfortable for myself. Whatever is in my control, I'll control it and change it to my liking. I just have that tendency to keep things nice for me without thinking at all of others around me. Its frustrating at many times, especially when I realize if I had caused damage to someone else. On a positive side, though... I do know fairly well what is and isn't within my control, so I don't waste any time trying to change something I know I can't. I'm also content at most every time; I keep my desires within my limits and will get to them. Keeping the control within reason... just unfortunately it can be too self-centered.
     
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  6. Eclipse

    SkittleBox
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    For myself, I do have issues with not being in control, and wanting to be in control of things I don't have control over (and never will). The 'making decisions for other people' example? That's me to a T. While I try to nudge people towards certain decisions, which are usually beneficial for them in some way (so I feel), I'm not the one that makes that decision. It's something that becomes out of my hands, and that bothers me greatly.

    Beyond that, I'm very particular in how I interact with people. I have a small handful of communication avenues that I can be reached at, but I'll only permit myself to be reached at about one per group of people. (As an example, at the start of any college course in which groups are involved to some degree, group members will usually exchange phone numbers, emails, Facebook addresses, and a handful of other things. I will only give out an email.) In a sense, I effectively control how people interact and even socialise with me - through specific avenues and locations.

    I also consider what time I do have to be very precious, and thus I have to allot my available time very carefully to the activities I have or want to do - almost making me bound rigidly to my own schedule. Should I end up deviating from that in some way (like being late, or asked/forced to do something else I'd much rather not), this frustrates me, as it places my scheduled time in an area beyond my control.

    I've also noticed something very poignant as I was writing this topic: worry is caused primarily by an individual's lack of control over something. People are worried or afraid that something might happen, that things might not go as planned, that there's a possibility something will go awry. This, in and of itself, is a control issue. That person can't totally control what will happen in that particular circumstance. A number of outcomes are possible, some of which are not desirable. Dwelling on these outcomes and calculating their chance of occurrence is higher than desired or anticipated, thus increasing risk, exacerbates worry.

    I'm sure a few of you had already drawn this parallel before in your own lives (between worry and control), but I felt it good to explain it more concretely, since we are on the subject. This topic in general is something that holds a lot of significance to me, simply because of how I attempt to control almost every detail of how I interact with people and other things around me.
     
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