Control.

I try to control as much as I can, but in the end, there is always somebody watching me, ready to make their move and pounce at my actions, willing to rebuke me for it when I am at school. Having something to control makes me feel powerful. I'm glad I can control myself, and I always strive for self-control, because in no instance would I like to perform a hurtful action that was not my intention. However, many people make me angry and... I may yell at people in some cases. Nonetheless, controlling my actions, as well as my environment is a quality I am happy to have.

I try to control myself first of all, to ensure that I am not a hazard to anybody's health or emotions. Sometimes, I have a tendency to argue with others to try to keep a conversation friendly or prevent the future breaking of friendships, or when I find that somebody is saying something against my beliefs, such as a certain action is wrong or that your appearance doesn't define who you are.

About change, sometimes I wish I can go back to the past. When I was small, I had such a wonderful life, carefree, without a worry of this world that is only getting worse. But, I have no control over that. I cannot go back to the days when my family was happy and there wasn't much sadness. Back when I had lots of friends, and friends who cared about me. Today, when I was having a nap, I looked at a picture of my mum and I started to cry a little bit. But we can only go forward, eh? After all, animals are starting to get their rights.

I also want a control over my personality. I never do want to change along with the times. I'm glad I was able to stay the way I was since I was in kindergarten! I've been told by many people that I should never change, and I'm glad I had the capacity to keep myself the way I was, despite the difficulties.

 

I find that the one thing that is best to control is people. If you control just a few people, you can use their influence to further control more people, spreading your sphere of influence and increasing the weight of your word. It's an exponential growth of your personal power.

I want to first and foremost protect people. The more power I have over others (or at least, the more they think I have power over them), the easier it is to protect people. My method is simple. First, acquire personal power. Lay down your roots, if you will. Spread your influence to the point where you undoubtedly have the trust of everyone and control over them. Then, and this is where my method is unique, make those people more powerful. A common flaw in the mindset of people who want power is that they need to directly have this power for them and them alone. This is false. It's far smarter to spread strength among allies. That way, you always have someone to fall back on and rely on when you need to, and they will help you without question because you gave them strength. This makes everyone as a whole stronger, with you being the strongest simply because you benefit from the power of the collective that obeys you. This way, the community is safe and protected.

As far as things I'll say and do, there are honestly no limits. I will say or do whatever I deem necessary. If that means I need to lie, then I will. If it means I need to manipulate people, then I will. I consider it simply a lesser of evils. If, in the long run, my actions make everyone stronger, then I will not hesitate to do whatever is necessary. I'll be the villain, even. Some people consider this method to be cruel and inhumane. I don't necessarily disagree. Sometimes, it's just what has to be done. I take no pride in that.

 

I am one with the wish to control what she encounters in her life as much as possible. I can deal with a little change, but a lot of change (especially when my current situation was really great) often causes me to have a bit of a mental breakdown. I believe that if my life is fine as it is right now, I shouldn't have to leave my current situation. This might not be a healthy thing to believe, but as long as I have fun and know I'm enjoying myself, I think it only makes sense for one to not want to move on and risk losing that all. I simply cannot move on with ease without being in a situation I know could be better.

 

I've always had a knack for bending things enough to make my world comfortable for myself. Whatever is in my control, I'll control it and change it to my liking. I just have that tendency to keep things nice for me without thinking at all of others around me. Its frustrating at many times, especially when I realize if I had caused damage to someone else. On a positive side, though... I do know fairly well what is and isn't within my control, so I don't waste any time trying to change something I know I can't. I'm also content at most every time; I keep my desires within my limits and will get to them. Keeping the control within reason... just unfortunately it can be too self-centered.