Dear Pokémon

Dear Scott,

Please stop stalking me. I know you like to watch me participate in battles, but you are really getting in the way of my adventure by constantly stopping me in my tracks and telling me incomplete references to the Battle Frontier. Rather than just speculate about how good of a trainer I am constantly, why not just leave me be and show my potential once I finally get to your special resort.

 

Dear Mom,
Please stop using my hard earned cash to buy food. I know you only send me some and use the rest for cooking. I'm seriously debating on whether I should leave you in charge of my money. I'll be in New Bark in 2 days, my account better have not dropped by the time I get there.

 

Dear Palmer,

WHO SAID IT WAS OKAY FOR YOU TO USE PSUEDO LEGENDS IN THE BATTLE FRONTIER? It's completely unfair! I thought you of all Frontier Brains would raise an actual competitive team. Leave your Heatran, Cresselia and Regigigas out of our next battle!

 

Dear Wally:

How the hell do you have such an OU as hell team? Your Life Orb Gale Wings Talonflame makes me want to cry I mean, I'm proud of you, but why did you have to go full-on try-hard?

 

Dear Bug Catchers:

Stop annoying me please by the love of god. I eget a Flying Type and then 50 of you appear to challenge me and make me lose like 4 hours using Flying moves to get nothing of Experience

Spoiler

Also, stop trying to give me your number. Damn it.

F** you bug Catchers

 

Dear Pokémon Shuffle,

Yes, you're addicting. But you won't get money out of me. Just please.. please recharge those lives faster.

;_;

 

Dear Black Belt Hideki, second Gym Trainer of the Dewford City Gym, Hoenn:

I hate you. No, that would be an understatement. I despise you. You and your level 14 Machop have wrecked my team, and I'll never forgive you that. Half of my team died to you, what a horrible massacre. Why did you do this to me? None of my Pokémon had ever done anything wrong, you had no reason to attack them! Now they're dead, and it's all your fault... I hope you feel good about yourself now.

 

Dear Whitney,

Your a nice person. You really are, but... PLEASE STOP WITH THE ROLLOUT ATTACKS! THEY ARE SO ANNOYING!

sincerely,

Scriffignano

 

Dear Cynthia

Stop having an OP team.

 

Dear Mom from HG/SS,

Stop sending me stuff. I don't need it anymore! Stop it now!

 

Dear Volkner,

Please stop having all of your trainers get para-hax on me. Thanks,

 

Dear Zubats,

Could you, like, stop having babies? Give the geodude population a chance!

 

Dear Steven
I am writing to you to inform you that your judgements are very poor. Why on earth would you entrust a 10 year old with the fate of the rest of the world?
BTW you sre still sexy

 

Dear Factory Head Thorton,

You may be a really cool trainer and know how to make a dramatic entrance, but please stop using overpowered Pokémon that are specifically chosen to counter my team in the Battle Factory. Its hard enough that I've managed to get this far with the Pokémon I have, but when you explode out of nowhere with a team of perfect legendaries with type match ups against every single Pokémon on my team, I know something is not ok.

 

Dear Dusknoir,
You think it's okay to play with everyone's feelings like that? NO. You do not fool people. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME BACK FROM DYSTOPIAN Pokémon FUTURE. YOU DON'T NEED TO KIDNAP ME.

 

Dear items,

Stop looking like Pokéballs in the overworld. You're not a Pokéball, so don't act like one.

 

Dear Chatot:

Stop being a dick and acting all high-and mighty- You take away dinner from us without letting us explain what happened, then youkick us while we're down by saying we shouldnt expect to be picked. And you trust Team Skull more than US?! How can you be so damn oblivious?! You're Wigglytuff's right hand man, for Arceus' sake!

 

Dear Swimmer on Hoenn Route 107 whose name I forget,

No. You absolutely cannot fall asleep while swimming and expect to live. I don't see a flotation device on you either. How are you not dead?!