E-Anon (Evil Anonymous)

Author's Note: This is my first Pokémon fanfiction, one that I've recently finished. It's basically a deconstruction and/or satire based around the popular fan concept of having all of the villain teams leaders join forces. Eventually this story grew into something completely different; however, and it became more of a dark comedy. In any case, expect lots of jokes and Giovanni being tortured!

As this fanfiction is based on the games, I've chosen to capitalize Pokémon species names, places (like the PokéMart), and Pokémon moves.

Due to some mild language (and a whole lot of angry characters), I would rate this story T.

I hope you all enjoy my first Pokémon fanfiction!

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E-Anon (Evil Anonymous)​

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Chapter One​

It was a cool summer night, just past ten o'clock and the streetlights were shining bright, causing the buildings to shimmer a bluish-green. Giovanni had made some lame excuse about needing to buy repels so that he could leave the PWT before anybody else. He absolutely hated it when trainers came to talk to him in the lobby after the tournament.

As he walked away from the PWT facility, Giovanni checked his bag. It turned out it was true–he really was running low on repels. He wasn't fond of many of the native Pokémon of Unova, and besides, his adventurous days were over. He stopped to pull his fedora over his eyes. I'll stop by the PokéMart, then be on my way, he thought. He walked past several emerald-studded buildings. He was glad they didn't shine much at night.

Giovanni had never liked Driftveil City. There were far too many people milling around, constantly blabbering about something or other. It was difficult to find ways to carry more than the legal six Pokémon at once in such a place. The World Tournament building screened every trainer's party, so Giovanni was forced to hide his extra pokéballs in his coat and hat. Even worse, it wasn't as if he could commiserate with anyone about such criminal inconveniences.

But for the "Self-Proclaimed Strongest Trainer" and former boss of Team Rocket, it wasn't as if he could seek worthy opponents anywhere else. Taking back his position as Viridian City gym leader had been difficult enough. He didn't want anything more to aggravate him.

Giovanni scowled. The walk to the to the PokéMart was taking longer than waiting for Ariana to fix her hair. He tilted up his hat brim, and saw nothing. The Market was nowhere in sight, and the city's stonework stretched to the horizon. The scenery seemed to blur, and Giovanni felt his head pounding.

"What? Is this some sort of idiotic prank?!" Giovanni reached for his bag, but paused when he saw something yellow flickering at the edge of his field of vision. He whirled around, and saw a Kadabra.

"Don't tell me Sabrina has it out for me again," muttered Giovanni, as he prepared to send out a Pokémon. Before he could do anything, he heard a woman's unfamiliar voice cry out.

"Kadabra, use Psycho Cut!"

The Kadabra's eyes glowed pink, and it swiped at the air with its claws. A psychic wave shot out and crashed against Giovanni. He screamed and grabbed his head. He crumpled over and fell to his knees. Everything went black.

=====​

Giovanni woke up with a pounding headache, his eyes still closed. It felt like his head had been trampled by a herd of Tauros. Knowing that he'd eventually have to wake up, he opened his eyes and resigned himself to the toils of the day.

But instead of his usual hotel room, this room was even more drab. Giovanni quickly felt his clothes–he still had his coat on, not his bedclothes. He turned to the side and saw his fedora lying next to him. He put it on. Getting more and more aggravated, Giovanni groaned and pushed himself out of bed. The room was cramped and barren, with only a bed and no windows. His bag was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, the memory of the Kadabra from the night before came rushing back. My Pokémon, thought Giovanni, I have to find them! He rifled through every one of his pockets, looked inside his hat and his shoes, and found nothing. Giovanni grimaced when he realized whoever had kidnapped him had frisked him and stolen his Pokémon.

"How dare I be toyed with!" Giovanni stormed toward the door.

Before his hand even touched the doorknob, the door opened by itself, revealing a young woman. She wore a flowing sundress like an Aroma Lady. Beside her stood the Kadabra.

"You! You did this to me!" yelled Giovanni. He reached out to strangle the woman, but missed and stepped right past her. He stumbled into the hall.

"Sorry, Mr. Giovanni," said the woman. "I had Kadabra use Kinesis on you. No harm done, right?" She winked.

"Using moves on humans is against the law!" yelled Giovanni. "Now, what do you want from me?!" He shook his fist at her.

"Oh, Mr. Giovanni, you've got it all wrong," she said. "We're here to help you! And we only use these Pokémon to aid in your recovery." She reached down and petted Kadabra's head. "Anyway, we need to hurry to your first meeting. Follow me, please." She turned and walked down the hall.

"I refuse to follow–" Giovanni was cut off by Kadabra raising its spoon. Giovanni became bathed in blue light, and his entire body was dragged after the woman.

The woman looked at him. "Isn't Telekinesis a fun way to travel?" she asked. "Don't worry, I'll tell you all about this place when we get to the meeting room."

"You will suffer for this." Giovanni seethed, but without Pokémon of his own, there wasn't much he could do but look threatening.

He was carried down the hall until he and the woman reached another doorway, which stood next to a large billboard that had many brightly-colored fliers tacked to it. A banner above the billboard read: E-ANON.

"What is this?" snarled Giovanni.

The woman stopped walking and spun around to face him. "This is where we gather people like you who need help getting back on track and making new friends!" She grinned. "You'll have free room and board, too! Isn't it great?"

"No!" screamed Giovanni. "Do you know who I am?! I am the Viridian City gym leader, I am–"

The woman snapped her fingers and the Kadabra stopped its Telekenisis. Giovanni crashed to the floor and fell on his stomach.

"Actually, I'm sure Blue will be taking care of your gym while you work on the program." The woman giggled. "Just relax and listen to everyone's stories. Have fun!" She gestured to her Kadabra, who used its Telekinesis to open the door to the meeting hall. "I'll bet they'll all be excited to meet somebody so famous."

Giovanni stood back up and adjusted his hat and coat. "Too famous to be treated like this. Tell me, what is this place?" he asked in a soft tone, under the assumption that woman was insane.

Her eyes opened wide. "Why, you're at Evil Anonymous. You know, the recovery center for evildoers everywhere? Don't tell me you've never heard of us?"

Now Giovanni was certain she was insane. Such a place seemed too silly to actually exist. He decided to keep playing along. After all, insane vigilantes were even more stubborn than starving Arcanines. "Why, how could you think I'm an evildoer? I haven't been involved in any shady dealings for so long now." He smiled. "Why not leave the past in the past?"

She shook her head. "That's what they all say.... at least you'll fit in. Kadabra, show him to the seats."

With another burst of telekinetic energy, Giovanni was flung into the meeting room. He recovered and hurriedly tried to memorize his surroundings, especially any possible exits or weapons. The room was spacious enough, but it also had no windows. Near the middle of the room was a whiteboard, which had many chairs lined up in front of it, like a little army. There was a single chair next to the board. In the side of the room was a coffee table set up with drinks. There were a few doors, which Giovanni assumed led either outside or to living quarters.

A few people were wandering around the meeting room, adjusting the chairs or getting cups of coffee or tea. Most of the people were dressed like Breeders or Rangers, as if they were ready for heavy service work. They each had a companion Pokémon out and following them around.

Giovanni scrutinized the Pokémon. Natu, Mr. Mime, Kadabra... all psychic-types. It figures, he thought. People were starting to fill the room, all of them with dopey expressions on their faces. Giovanni strode up to a service person who didn't look too active and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but what are these meetings? More importantly, where are my Pokémon?" Giovanni struggled to keep his voice level.

The man, a Breeder by the looks of it, turned around. He had a Natu on his shoulder, which was staring intently at Giovanni. "Ah, so you're the old Rocket Boss? Nice to meet you. We've been waiting for you for a quite a while." He reached out to shake hands, but Giovanni put his hands in his pockets. "Don't worry 'bout your Pokémon. They're being held for you while you recover. Remember that we'll always be here to help you. So, want some coffee?"

Giovanni awkwardly looked away. "Uh... no." It's probably poisoned, he left unsaid. "So where are the... others like me?"

"They'll be here soon enough. Don't get edgy, you'll be able to share your story soon enough." The Breeder turned to one of the doors, where a few more people were entering the room. "Hey! Look, they're arriving. Come on, Giovanni, why don't you go make a friend or two while we wait for everyone else?" The Natu on his shoulder chirped.

"How about no," Giovanni said under his breath.

"Aw, don't be such a gloomy Gus. Hey, I know a guy who's a touch shy like you. Why don't I introduce the two of you?" He pointed to a man with spiky blue hair standing by the coffee table. By this point, several people were already sitting in the chairs in front of the board and talking.

"I'm not interested. Besides, I'm certain that I'm not meant to be here." As more people entered the room and sat down, Giovanni felt his stress mounting. "I'll take my leave now, if you don't mind–" As he turned away, the Natu leapt off the Breeder's shoulder and caught Giovanni's fedora in its beak. It fluttered to the floor and hopped away.

"What?!" Giovanni gnashed his teeth. He grabbed the Pokémon Breeder by the collar. "Control your Pokémon, you fool, or else you will have to answer to me!"

The Breeder just smiled. "He's just playing. Have a sense of humor, now will ya'?" He looked over to the Natu. "Buddy, take Giov's hat over to the guy I want him to meet, okay?" The Natu chirped again, and started hopping over to the coffee table.

Giovanni shoved the Pokémon Breeder and released him, and chased after the Natu instead. "Give that back, or you'll experience a world of pain!" The Pokémon kept hopping until it reached the shadow of the coffee table. It skipped to the left, landing on the shoe of the man standing in front of the table. He picked up the fedora and looked down at it.

"That's mine!" Giovanni ran over and grabbed his hat out of the man's hand. He put it back on, adjusted it, and let out a frustrated sigh. When he looked up, he noticed that the man standing next to him was staring at him. He had his head tilted down, and was staring up at Giovanni with a blank, soulless expression. He had dark circles under his eyes, increasing the effect.

Although the man's stare was comparable to looking into the back of a Shedinja, Giovanni was not the least bit intimidated. "What do you want?!" he snapped.

The Pokémon Breeder walked up to both of them. "Chill, Giovanni. Cyrus looks at everyone like that. Why don't you guys get acquainted? It'd be good for you to make some friends with the other recovering villains, Giov."

Giovanni felt more angry than an abused Pokémon using Frustration. "First of all, my name is Giovanni, and you will use it! Second, I am not under your command!" He paused. "Wait, what? Isn't Cyrus the name of..."

"Yep, the Boss of Team Galactic from Sinnoh. Sure was hard for us to track him down!" The Breeder grinned.

"Isn't he supposed to be dead?" asked Giovanni.

"You're such a jokester." The Breeder shook his head. "Now, have a conversation like two, well-adjusted humans. I'm sure you two'll get along great. I mean, you both have tons of wrinkles!" When Giovanni just kept glowering at him, his grin fell. "Natu, use Peck on Giovanni." Right on cue, Natu leapt into the air and jabbed Giovanni in the face with its beak.

"Argh!" Giovanni swatted the Natu, and covered his face with his hands. He felt like the veins in his forehead were about to burst. Thinking quickly, his imagined a detailed scenario involving his Nidoqueen stomping the Pokémon Breeder into a paste. That soothed Giovanni a bit, and he straightened his back.

"I'll leave you and Cyrus for a bit," said the Breeder. "Come on, Natu! Let's wait for everyone." He walked away.

"Fine, you fool. I'll teach you a lesson soon enough!" After screaming at the Breeder, Giovanni looked back to Cyrus, who had been completely silent for this entire exchange. "All right. Tell me, how many people have you killed, Cyrus?" he asked with his most cloying voice.

"None... directly," Cyrus answered, in utter monotone. After a long silence, so long it became somewhat awkward, he spoke again. "Why?"

"Either you're a serial killer, or you have never slept a day in your life," said Giovanni. "What is wrong with your eyes?"

Cyrus seemed to look right past Giovanni.

"More importantly, how can I retrieve my Pokémon and leave this place this instant?!" Giovanni made a fist and slammed it against the table, causing the coffeemakers to shake.

Cyrus just looked on, emotionless.

Giovanni breathed heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead. After a few moments, he heard someone yelling at the other side of the room. He turned to look, and saw a man being pushed through an entrance by two service people. He was holding a metal cane, struggling to keep his balance, while simultaneously attempting to resist the people forcing him inside. He was shouting some gibberish and foaming at the mouth.

One of the people herding him tried to soothe him. "Now, now, did you accidentally spit out your medicine again today?"

Giovanni's eyes widened. He recognized the shouting man's pale green, antler-like hair and black robe immediately. Giovanni always watched the news carefully. "Is that..." He didn't get to finish his sentence.

"I am perfect! I am Ghetsis!" yelled the former Plasma King, spit flying out of his mouth.

Giovanni put his head in his hands again. This is hell, he thought.

 

Chapter Two​

As soon as Ghetsis was forced to sit down in a chair like a nearly-civilized human being, everyone started to quiet down. The service people and their Pokémon moved to the sides of the room to block off all the exits. Cyrus, still showing no emotion, sat down as far away from the board as possible.

Giovanni wasn't going to sit at all, until a Hypno glared at him from across the room. After that, Giovanni decided to take a cue from Cyrus and sat next to him. After all, if those guards get distracted, I want to make a clean break for the exits, thought Giovanni, though what do about his stolen Pokémon was still unclear to him.

After a minute or so, one of the doors opened. A woman with long pink hair, who was dressed like a scientist, entered the room. A female Meowstic was sitting on her shoulder. The woman stopped in front of the whiteboard and adjusted her glasses and labcoat. She smiled blankly like a Chansey.

"My name is Inari, and I welcome you to E-Anon," she said. "We hope you find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live or have lived with the problem of villainy understand as perhaps few others can, and we share our stories to benefit others like us. In this program, we hope you will find the peace you seek. At E-Anon, your serenity is our responsibility."

Her Meowstic let out a low purr.

After Inari gave her address, she stood aside and gestured to the audience. She sat down in the chair closest to the whiteboard, and her Meowstic leapt onto her lap.

A Lass sitting in the front row of chairs stood up. She walked in front of the whiteboard and curtsied. "Hi, I'm Lass Mia, and I'm a recovering evildoer."

"Hi, Mia," many people in the audience, and Inari, piped up.

This immediately put Giovanni on edge. They've kidnapped someone so young? They're like some sort of cult, he thought. And that Inari woman must be some sort of torture technician. He had a feeling that Inari kept vials of Arbok venom or Tentacruel toxin in her labcoat, or maybe she carried scimitar custom-made out of a Seviper tail.

Giovanni snapped out of his reverie when Lass Mia started talking again. "I have a problem," she said. "I have a little Pichu that the workers here are kindly holding for me. Pichu wants to evolve, but every time it goes all glow-y, I surprise it so it stops." She sniffled, tears coming to her eyes. "I just think it's so cute the way it is!"

Inari nodded. "You've made a crucial first step, Mia." She looked to the audience. "Next!"

The next person to stand up was a man dressed in overalls. He shuffled up to the board, fidgeting nervously. "Uh... hey, everybody... my name's Ben. I'm a recovering evildoer."

"Hi, Ben!" answered the audience.

"I used to work at a PokéMart," said Ben. "B-But... sometimes I'd overprice the pokéballs by fifty-percent! I just want to feed my starving family!"

The audience gasped.

"But now I've started to understand the pain of all the poor trainers I've ripped off." Ben grinned proudly. A few people in the audience cheered for him.

Inari nodded again, like a robot. "I see, I see. Good job. Next?"

The next few presentations proceeded in much the same fashion, leaving Giovanni increasingly confused. To him, these people seemed idiotic, yes, but not even close to evil. As the meeting dragged on, Giovanni noticed himself nodding off occasionally. Maybe the reason these people are 'evil' is that they snap from the repetitive redundancy of these meetings, he thought. But I must hold onto my burning rage to survive!

The meeting continued on at the pace of a Slowpoke crossing the street. Giovanni felt his patience being sliced in half with every second. Right when he was about about to break and start screeching like a Crobat, Ghetsis yelled.

"Hah! It's about time that I get to preach to these filthy insects!" Ghetsis struggled to his feet. Apparently Ghetsis had been called upon, and Giovanni had been too far gone to notice.

Ghetsis walked up to the whiteboard. Though he was forced to use a cane, he still towered over everyone in the audience. He slammed the floor with his cane, causing a sharp bang to resound throughout the room. Inari, thought she was closest to Ghetsis, did not flinch, and simply stroked her Meowstic.

"Greetings, degenerate fools. I am the rightful ruler of the region of Unova."

"Hi, rightful ruler of the region of Unova!"

"If only that disgusting pile of filth... N had not intervened, I would be your king! Yet despite these unfortunate circumstances, I have graced you all with my presence. Feel lucky and bask in the light of my perfection! For I am perfection! I. Am. Ghetsis!" His eye rolled back and he laughed maniacally.

The audience was completely silent for a few seconds until a few people began whispering questions.

"How do you pronounce that name? Gee-Cis?"

"Gee-sus?"

"Gay-cheese?"

"Cheez-itz?"

"Nah, I think it's just Dennis."

Giovanni leaned toward Cyrus. "How could these imbeciles not know his name if he just pronounced it for them?"

Cyrus shrugged slightly and said nothing.

"I speak for Team Plasma when I say, Pokémon deserve to be liberated!" Ghetsis seemed not to have heard anything the audience members had said. "Let us be the ones to show others the light, my li–I mean, the light of the truth."

I can't believe his megalomania. Who could be such a proud hypocrite? At least he's vaguely entertaining, thought Giovanni.

"Team Plasma has no connection to you anymore. Also, why don't you tell us about your villainous exploits, Ghetsis?" asked Inari. "You are here for a reason."

Inari's Meowstic lifted her head up and her ears fidgeted.

"If ever my methods were unconventional, it was not due to any fault of mine. Does anyone here know why I behave in his way?" Ghetsis narrowed his eye. "Answer me!"

When no one answered, half of Ghetsis's face tensed up. He gripped his can so tightly his knuckles paled. His hand trembled. "Answer me..." he growled.

Giovanni raised his hand.

"Hah! How could someone as foolish as you possibly know what I've been through?" yelled Ghetsis. "You were defeated by a child! Why do you suppose I act the way I do?!"

Giovanni smirked. "Because you were never allowed to join in on any Stantler games? Also,
weren't you also defeated by a kid?"

Ghetsis didn't seem to understand the joke until a few audience members giggled. When he heard the laughter, he scowled. "How dare you insult Ghetsis! I will castrate you!" He slammed his cane against the floor again. "You shall never reproduce!"

"Sorry, but I already have," said Giovanni.

Meowstic leapt off of Inari's lap and hissed. Inari nodded. "All right Ghetsis, enough," she said. "Next."

"What?! I must finish my epic speech!" Ghetsis stomped his feet, but after a few seconds he was breathing heavily and was forced to stop.

"Remember, Ghetsis, my Meowstic has the psychic power to obliterate a ten-ton truck."

Ghetsis sneered, but hobbled back to his seat, defeated. Right before sitting back down, he turned to give Giovanni the evil eye.

Giovanni leaned back in his chair, a smug smile on his face. If there's any cure for boredom, he thought, it's insulting obnoxious fools who are utterly unable to defend themselves.

The nest few presentations passed without incident. Since he was not as bored, Giovanni was able to calm down a bit and bite back on his urge to speak out or insult anyone. As the former head of a crime syndicate, he knew the dangers of making powerful enemies. A crippled, doddering, brat like Ghetsis couldn't possibly do anything to harm me, especially not in an environment like this, he thought. Though a blow from that cane would hurt. Proton cracked a few skulls for me that way, I recall....

Eventually, it was the second-to-the-last audience member's turn to speak–none other than Giovanni himself. He hadn't been paying attention, and only realized it was his turn when nobody stood up. He got up and walked to the board, his legs aching from sitting so long. Once he took his position and faced the audience, he wasn't certain what to do. Giovanni usually only had three modes–bragging about his abilities, facetiously charming, and angry rant. None of those three seemed fit to help him through this.

If only I could make my true feelings known without making any more enemies, he thought. By this point, several members of the audience were staring at him questioningly. Inari cleared her throat, loud.

Giovanni grinned. Facetiously charming it is... "I am Giovanni, leader of the Viridian City gym." He smiled.

"Hi, Giovanni!"

A few people in the audience didn't seem impressed.

"Hey, you're shorter in real life than you look on TV."

"Yeah, and you have more wrinkles than I thought."

Giovanni tried to ignore those comments. After all, I know how great I am, and that's what matters! "Now I'm sure all of you have the pressing question on your minds–how could such influential... evildoers... be toppled by children?" He made wide gestures with his hands as he talked. "But you know what? No matter how strong you are, someday you will lose. And who better than a naïve, innocent child to over-train their Pokémon out of love?" He pressed his lips into a thin line to stop himself from yelling. "Who better to take you off guard? Who better to attract legendary Pokémon with their malleability?"

Lass Mia, of all people, seemed convinced. "Wow, you're so right! I mean, I saw a documentary
about Red, and he was really, really, cute!"

Giovanni strategically dipped his hat below one eye, in a vain attempt to mask his rage. "Anyway," he ground out through gritted teeth, "if you can believe it, I used to think I was the strongest trainer. But now I've–"

"Then you were beaten by a mere child. We all know what a pathetic failure you are," said Ghetsis.

"Shut up and let me finish!" snapped Giovanni. "As I was saying, now I've learned that trying amass power in such a way is completely pointless. So why am I here?!"

Inari shook her head. "I see that you are still in the denial stage, Giovanni. Anyway, next."

Meowstic hissed judgmentally.

"I am not in denial! I not not an evildoer or a villain, or anything like that!" yelled Giovanni.

A few people in the audience giggled.

"Return to your seat or I will sic Meowstic on you." Inari looked up at Giovanni, her glasses looking opaque in the light.

Giovanni scowled and did what Inari asked, but he was secretly relieved. At least I don' t have to talk to these fools anymore. Cyrus is terse so his presentation shouldn't take long, and I just need to outlast this meeting. Then I can clear my mind and take my Pokémon back. In the meantime I just need to calm myself. Giovanni tried to picture himself in his happy place–sitting in an easy chair, petting his pet Persian and hearing her purr softly. He tried not to dwell on how old and lifeless such a fantasy made him feel.

"This is the last presentation," said Inari.

Cyrus got up and stiffly walked up to the board. He turned to face the audience and stared blankly at no one in particular. "...I will be brief. Everyone is aware of–"

Inari cut him off. "This is for therapy purposes. Please introduce yourself."

Cyrus's expression and posture did not change. "I am Cyrus."

"Hi, Cyrus!"

Cyrus spoke in a quiet, monotone voice. "After spending an extended period in a world where time did not flow, I decided to return to this reality. I am searching for anything that is outside of the control of humans, Pokémon, or even the Original One. I traveled to the Unova region after learning of Pokémon that are said to hold an infinite amount of energy inside their bodies.

"Is there such a thing? Something that is not part of our transient, relative reality? I believe the answer is 'no.' However, after the Pokémon keeping the worlds in balance interfered with my plans, I came to the conclusion that only such a thing could help me accomplish my dream–my vision of a world where beings are not ruled by incomplete spirit. The way things are now, everything is eventually extinguished by death. There is no meaning. That is what I want to change."

After Cyrus finished his speech, nobody talked. Almost everybody in the audience stared at Cyrus as if he were a Ghost-type Pokémon that had just used Confuse Ray. Giovanni, on the other hand, just looked bored.

Lass Mia raised her hand. "Excuse me, Mr. Cyrus?"

"Yes?" asked Cyrus, quietly.

"Do you need some raw steak?"

Cyrus didn't say anything.

"You know–" Mia squirmed a little in her chair. "'Cause you have two black eyes and all? Did
you walk into a door or something? Because you aren't really making sense."

A few people giggled after Mia said this, though she didn't seem to see what was funny.

"...I do not have a black eye. Or two, for that matter," said Cyrus. "And raw steak is not even an effective treatment."

"Oh, okay. So it's just eyeliner. That's good," said Mia.

Before Cyrus could correct her, Inari stood up. "The meeting is now over. You may either enter the courtyard, or return to your rooms. When the bell rings, returning to your rooms is mandatory." Inari pulled a pokéball from a pocket in her labcoat and withdrew her Meowstic. As she walked away, she gestured to two service people and they went to accompany her as she left.

Giovanni made a mental note that Inari had left through the farthest hall from the whiteboard. The workers here seem stupid enough, but I don't want to run into that woman unless I have to. With my Pokémon, I'm sure she would be a pushover, but without them... he didn't finish the thought. As soon as Inari was out of the room, Giovanni turned to Cyrus.

"Tell me, sociopath, where is this courtyard?" Giovanni asked him.

Without saying anything, Cyrus pointed to the door directly centered in the back wall.

"Good." Giovanni adjusted his fedora and left his seat. His legs were terribly stiff from sitting for so long. Just walked to the door felt like running an unwinnable race. He also felt a pain in his stomach–he was more hungry than a Hydreigon after a hard day's training. But Giovanni was convinced that any food served in the building had to be poisoned.

"...Sociopath?" Cyrus mumbled, when out of Giovanni's earshot.

=====​

Giovanni was unimpressed with the courtyard in every possible way. It was barren, without even the smallest rocks or trees, and the grass was patchy at best. He walked around for a bit, until his hunger pangs started to subside, and discovered that the yard appeared to stretch around the entire building. A wire fence, about ten feet tall, prevented escape.

Suddenly, a Natu fluttered in front of Giovanni face.

"Hey, Giov!" The Breeder who had pestered him before the meeting ran up to him. "How's it hangin'? Isn't that fence cool?" The Breeder turned to stare at the fence in wonder.

Giovanni scowled. He did not want to deal with this again.

"It's electrified and lethal, you know!" He smiled, and his Natu landed on his shoulder. "Anyway, gotta run. I heard Ghetsis's havin' another one of those psychotic episodes." He turned and ran off.

Giovanni blinked several times. Lethal? What?! He slowly made his way over to the fence and inspected it. The wires were completely straight and plain, like little grey threads. "How lethal could this thing be?" he muttered.

He heard a chattering noise from above his head. Fearing another Natu attack, he looked up. Outside the fence, a little Pidove was fluttering about. It swerved awkwardly, and slammed into the wires of the fence. In an instant, a sound like a super-effective Thunder resounded. An explosion of highlighter yellow later, the Pidove was coal-black and crackling with electricity. It quivered and shook, having crashed to the ground.

Giovanni swallowed hard.

 

Chapter Three


With a soft groan, Giovanni rolled over onto his side. His stomach felt like it was eating itself, or worse, it already had and only a gaping empty spot remained. Giovanni did not really want to wake up, since there wasn't anything to look forward to in his life, but he did not really want to die, either. He was somewhat certain of that now. With this energizing thought in mind, he opened his eyes, only to be greeted with the barren room at E-Anon.

He rubbed his eyes. "Why is it that the best things in life are all just dreams, but the worst things never seem to just be nightmares?" he hissed to himself. Though if I want to find a way to escape, getting up before anyone else would be helpful. So he slid out of bed and walked to the door as quietly as his Persian could stalk.

He reached for the handle cautiously, as if he was afraid it would scream if he moved too fast. He touched the handle, half-expecting some shadowy creature to leap out from behind the door. He turned the handle. But the door didn't budge.

Giovanni's eyes widened in annoyance. He shook the handle. Then he tried alternating between pushing and pulling. Eventually he tired himself out and just slumped to the floor, his back against the door. His stomach growled petulantly.

Don't tell me I've grown too weak to even open a door! He scowled.

A low Pokémon cry came from outside. Acting on instinct, Giovanni staggered to his feet. He pulled back one arm, waiting for whoever would come inside, so he could punch his or her face in. The door creaked. It opened just a crack.

"Would you like me to put the sugar in your coffee, or would you rather do it?"

Giovanni was taken aback. He recognized the sickeningly sweet voice. "Wait–you're the wench with the Kadabra!"

The Aroma Lady opened the door. She was holding a tray with a cup of steaming coffee and a plate of donuts on it. Her Kadabra was standing beside her. "You're hungry, aren't you, Mr. Giovanni?" the lady asked.

"What's it to you?! And how would you know?" Giovanni snapped.

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh, well," she whispered, "I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but we do have cameras hidden in everyone's rooms!"

"What," Giovanni stated, flatly.

"Oh, I see you're an early riser," she said. "Just so you know, it doesn't really make a difference here. I mean, every door is unlocked at the same time each day, unless a worker like me opens it for you." She smiled. "Anyway, coffee and donuts!"

Giovanni had his mouth pressed into a thin line. Well, the other prisoners must eat something, and if I never eat anything, I'll starve before I escape. "Uh, I take mine black."

=====

After Giovanni finished eating, the Aroma Lady and her Kadabra escorted him to the courtyard. She seemed very excited.

"You're so lucky that you joined us when you did," she said. "We have a very special activity planned for today!"

Giovanni tensed up. This isn't good, he thought. "Very special activity" is never good. Just like "we'll take care of you." And I should know! "You can not make me participate!" he yelled. Giovanni turned around and tried to run, but his legs wouldn't obey. His entire body was yanked backward by Kadabra's psychic power.

The Aroma Lady had her head held up high, and she beamed. She looked like a teenage girl at the mall. "You're going to be so happy, Mr. Giovanni! We know how much you want to see your Pokémon."

Giovanni blinked. Curiosity replaced his rage. "I'm going to have my Pokémon returned to me?" He was inwardly celebrating. He knew his ground-types could easily rip open that electric fence, and then he would be home free.

The lady giggled. "Oh, you really love your Pokémon, I see. Well, have fun!" She gestured to Kadabra, and with another psychic burst, Giovanni was thrown through the doors.

Giovanni stumbled for a second, but stayed on his feet. I'm not about to fall in the dirt in front of my new-found enemies, he thought to himself. After all, that would just be inelegant. He regained his wits quickly, and surveyed the courtyard for anyone who didn't look overly insane or unfettered.

In the end, he didn't have a choice, as Lass Mia ran up to him, looking bright as a Sunflora. She had her Pichu on her shoulder gripping her shirt for dear life. "Mr. Giovanni!" called Mia. "I wanted to talk to you!"

Giovanni took a step back. He looked left and right, trying to find an escape route. He found none, because too many people were milling around the courtyard. "What do you want?" he hissed.

"I heard some people in the audience yesterday saying some rude things to you. I just needed to let you know that they're just meanies, and that I'll be your friend!" She held her hand out.

Giovanni glared down at her. It took Mia at least five seconds before she took the hint and turned away.

"Um... why don't you go get a Pokémon now?" she said, quietly.

"Wait. Pokémon, singular? I thought I would have all of my Pokémon rightfully returned!" Giovanni yelled.

"I think you only get one back," said Mia. "And just for an hour. I took my Pichu, obviously–"

Giovanni didn't want to hear her prattle on. He ran forward until he saw a table with several boxes on top of it. Trainers in the program were removing pokéballs from the boxes and sending them out. Giovanni could see the names of trainers printed on the boxes indicating which pokéballs were owned by which trainer.
As he searched for the box with his name on it, he watched the other people in the courtyard. His vision wasn't great, so he couldn't keep an eye on everyone from a discreet distance. Giovanni noticed that among the crowd were: a man with a waxed moustache who constantly twirled it, a bug-eyed hunchback skulking around, and, of course, there was Ghetsis being led around by several Ranger-like workers.

This is just like an asylum, thought Giovanni. All they need to complete the picture is for these maniacs to be dressed in long, white, flowing robes. I wonder whether all these people started out insane, or snapped after being abducted. Probably the former. The world's always been a never-ending parade of maniacs. His frown grew ever lower.

Eventually he saw it. It was lying on a table next to another box, and, just Giovani's luck, the same Breeder
with the Natu was there.

Gioavnni felt his head pulsing with a weary ache. "Joy..." he sighed. "I'll get this over with, quick." He straightened his back, and put on his best death glare–the one he used to love giving someone he was about to kill.

He walked over to the table. Fortunately for his sanity level, the Breeder didn't seem to notice him. Instead, the Breeder was busy ushering over someone else–Cyrus.

Giovanni looked away quickly. The quiet insane people are always the most dangerous. Better not snap at anybody around this guy... I already said too much yesterday.

"Hey, hey, Giov!" yelled the Breeder, interrupting Giovanni's thoughts.

Giovanni clenched his teeth and hid his eyes with his hat brim in response. He desperately wished he could stop existing. Unfortunately for him, the Breeder couldn't take a hint and patted Giovanni on the back.

"Not very talkative today, huh?" asked the Breeder. "Anyway, as I was just explaining to Cyrus behind us–" he pointed to the other end of the table. "Go ahead and pick whatever Pokémon you want, but no Dark, Bug, or Ghost-types, got it? The rules say so!" He grinned. "No problem, right?"

Giovanni, urge to kill swiftly rising, said nothing and refused to look the man in the eye.

"Good!" The Breeder turned away from Giovanni and walked over to Cyrus instead. Cyrus was giving a thousand-yard stare to nothing in particular.

"Hey Cyrus, you have a question?" asked the Breeder. When Cyrus didn't say anything, the Breeder looked down at the box of pokéballs on the table–the one with Cyrus's name on it. The Breeder rifled around in the box, and did not stop until he saw Cyrus's brow furrow slightly.

"Geez, looks like you don't have the best luck today. Houndoom, Weavile, Honchkrow–that's over half your team there. Guess that's the problem with only having five Pokémon on hand. But Crobat and Gyarados are still okay. Anyway, have fun, dude!" He left.

Cyrus didn't respond. Only when the Breeder was out of sight did he he turn his head to look at the box of available Pokémon.

Though he would've preferred for Persian to have removed the pest by slashing his throat, Giovanni felt his annoyance ease up a bit when the Breeder left. He was still confused by something, however. He did some quick Pokémon-typing math in his head. When he finished figuring, he was taken aback. "What an idiotic team," he muttered.

Giovanni regretted his slip-up immediately. Cyrus whipped his head around and glared at him.

"Explain," Cyrus demanded, his voice cold as Froslass breath.

"Nothing to explain." Giovanni kept his face impassive.

"If you want to criticize my team, then do so properly. Otherwise, you've wasted energy speaking, and wasted energy is what's broken this world."

Giovanni quickly glanced to the right. He saw plenty of free service people and Pokémon. So if this sociopath tries to murder me, he'll fail, he thought. I can afford to insult him.

"All right," said Giovanni. "Excuse me for believing that it only takes someone with half a brain to notice that all of your Pokémon are weak to Rock. Your incomplete team, this is. Only five Pokémon altogether?"

"I see. My plans in the past did not hinge on the power of my own Pokémon, but in the future I will strive for a well-balanced team." Cyrus's eyes became vacant again. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention." He took a pokéball from his box, though he didn't send out the Pokémon. He brushed past Giovanni and walked back toward the E-Anon building.

Giovanni's eyes widened. "Wh–I mean, think nothing of it," he said. Not your typical sociopath? Then again, once a man cracks, he doesn't exactly have to crack again. He shook his head. He needed to focus on an escape plan.

A plan, a plan... Giovanni thought frantically. He knew he might only have enough time to grab one of his Pokémon. All right, I'll take Honchrow when nobody's looking since it resists Psychic, and we'll fly out of here before anyone can stop us! But then I may never be able to recover my other Pokémon, and how long would it take to gather a giant Pokémon army to storm this place? And where is this center even located?! And what will I even do once I escape, and what am I even living for anymore and–

"What do you mean Hydreigon isn't allowed?!" Ghetsis shrieked. His discordant voice was unmistakable.
Giovanni turned around. At another table, Ghetsis and a service person, who was dressed like a Ranger, were arguing. The service person had his hands up. "Sorry, Ghetsis, but rules are rules! No Dark, Bug, or Ghost-types allowed. Also, did you take your meds?"

Ghetsis leaned on his cane. He spat at the man. "I'll never take your devils' pills or potions! I spit them out every time!"

Giovanni groaned. The yelling was starting to give him a headache. He held the back of his head and walked left, reaching the box that had his name printed on it. There were at least twenty pokéballs inside, since Giovanni always carried each of his Pokémon with him. While he was deciding what Pokémon to choose, he looked back to see if Ghetsis was making a scene. Would make a good distraction, at least.

Ghetsis's facial muscles went limp. He looked at the ground, his eye closed. "Besides, Hydreigon has not been fed in so long... don't you know it's starving?"

The man shrugged. He took out a pokéball of his own. "Well... I do have a Gallade. I guess it's okay if you take Hydreigon out for a little bit."

Ghetsis flashed him an eerie grin, reminiscent of a Banette leering at prey. "I'm eternally in your debt...." He took Hydreigon's pokéball out of the box, and released it. His Hydreigon let out a deadened cry, its rumpled black wings waving like tattered flags, its red eyes sunken. It floated just in front of the worker.

"Aw, he looks so tired...." The worker reached out to pet Hydreigon's cheek.

"Hydreigon, use Crunch!" yelled Ghetsis.

Hydreigon opened its jaw and slammed it shut. The worker fell backward in fear.

"W-What kind of prank was that?!" he yelled.

Ghetsis cocked his head, his red eye almost aglow. "When I said it was hungry, you didn't know I meant for human flesh?"

The Ranger leapt back to his feet. "That's a joke in bad taste! Go, Gallade!" He released his Gallade. It waved its arm-blades and twittered. "Use Close Combat!"

With great difficulty, Ghetsis raised his arm. "Dragon Rush!" he snapped.

Hydreigon seemed to have a wraith-like glow as it dashed forward. Despite Gallade being ordered to attack first, Hydreigon rushed forward so fast it slammed into it before Gallade could even think about moving. Gallade careened backward and crashed into the table. It overturned, and pokéballs spilled onto the grass.
Gallade quivered slightly, but eventually collapsed.

Ghetsis cackled. "Hah! That is what little insignificant insects these days call an OHKO, is it not?" He coughed. "Now, Hydreigon, I command you to rip this man's head off. I want to see the dirt of this courtyard bloodied!"

Hydreigon turned sharply, its razor-sharp mouth hanging open. It shot toward the Pokémon Ranger with full power. Pure Frustration.

At the last second the Ranger ducked and Hydregion smashed into the overturned table with enough force to break it. It shattered into a million tiny splinters that ricocheted off the ground.

"You disgust me," said Ghetsis. "Those should be shreds of human skin."

Hydreigon shook a bit in response, disoriented. The Pokémon Ranger screamed and scrambled to his feet. He ran away, still screaming. Hydreigon flew behind him in close pursuit. As they ran past the other service people, mayhem ensued in the courtyard. People were dropping their pokéballs and abandoning their Pokémon, leaving the vulnerable Psychic-types wailing on the grass.

Meanwhile, Ghetsis was like a mad conductor, making wide gestures to his Hydreigon. Occasionally he laughed, sending spit flying out of his mouth.

"How foolish," muttered Giovanni.

Ghetsis froze. "Hydreigon, halt and turn back to me!" he yelled. He awkward hobbled around, and turned away from the madness to glare straight at Giovanni. "You... I remember you, you insolent freak! You dared to insult me yesterday!"

Giovanni scowled. "So what if I did? What are you going to do, throw your cane at me? Or will you limp after me?" he asked. "I'm so terribly frightened."

Ghetsis glanced at Hydreigon, a sign for it to float at the ready. "Hah! Team Rocket's leader, living in fear of the great Ghetsis. And you should be scared of me, Giovanni, as you will now see!" He tightened his grip on his cane, and pointed to Giovanni. "Hydreigon, now!" he yelled. "Frustration!"

You can't beat the classics, Giovanni made his decision. He pulled a pokéball out of his box, and he pressed the button. With a flash of light, his Pokémon was released–Rhyperior turned its head up and roared at the sky. It stood even taller than Ghetsis.

The E-Anon courtyard was now a battle arena. The service people running around now slowed down, and a few of them stopped panicking to watch the match.

Hydreigon rushed forward and bashed Rhyperior with its two brainless heads. Rhyperior was pushed backward by the impact, leaving a large rut in the dirt. But Rhyperior's rocky plates easily countered the attack, leaving it nearly unharmed.

Giovanni couldn't help but sigh. How stupid can this idiot be? He does know who I am, right? "Use Ice Punch."

As Rhyperior's clawed fist glowed with all the power of liquid nitrogen and became crusted with ice, Ghetsis's brow furrowed with rage. "Hydreigon, use–" he was cut off by the crackling of Rhyperior's fist colliding with Hydreigon's face, its true face.

Hydreigon crumpled to the ground, fainted.

Ghetsis didn't even bother returning it to its pokéball. He flung another one toward Giovanni's Rhyperior. With a flash, the Coffin Pokémon Cofagrigus was revealed. It grinned menacingly, its shadowy arms jiggling.
Giovanni, feeling increasingly bored by all this, adjusted his fedora. "Earthquake," he said.

Rhyperior smashed the ground using its tail. It sent a shockwave hurtling to Cofagrigus. The shockwave hit its target, and Cofagrigus was sent flying backward. But using its arms, it dug into the ground and kept itself from slamming into anything.

"Shadow Ball! Hit it while it's weak!" Ghetsis commanded.

A tangible darkness formed between Cofagrigus's four hands. With the same blank grin plastered to its face, it flung the ball or darkness at Rhyperior.

Though Rhyperior was in a defensive stance, that proved worthless against the unearthly nature of the attack.
Rhyperior tumbled backward, smashing into the table Giovanni had been standing in front of.

Giovanni did not even flinch. "Return, Rhyperior," he said. Rhyperior was converted to light and sent back to its pokéball.

Ghetsis let out his victory cackle.

"You do realize I have over twenty Pokémon here, don't you?" asked Giovanni.

Ghetsis grinned. "Maybe so, but you won't have a chance to use them." He nodded to Cofagrigus.
Cofagrigus's eerie arms whipped through the air at Giovanni at lightning speed, like demonic Arboks. The movement was so fast that Giovanni had no time to react before the arms snaked around his body, and his own arms were tangled up in Cofagrigus's spectral appendages. Giovanni was all wrapped up like a Tentacruel's prey.

"What is this?!" Giovanni struggled in vain. Cofagrigus's arms snaked around his legs, shoulders, and finally his neck. Giovanni had to look down to stop the arms that were around neck from strangling him.

"That's right, shut your mouth," said Ghetsis. "You're lucky. It looks like your just short enough to fit inside its body. I thought I would need to cut you feet off or something." Ghetsis noticeably relaxed. "Go ahead, Cofagrigus. Reel him in."

Cofagrigus's lid opened, revealing the gaping shadow of its coffin. Its arms pulled Giovanni in painfully slowly, dragging his heels across the ground.

Giovanni tried to mutter some curse, but he couldn't speak. His fedora was over his eyes, so he couldn't see how close he was to Cofagrigus's body. It came as a surprise when he fell forward, flung into the cold metal depths of the Pokémon's body.

Slam. The coffin shut. He looked left and right, but Giovanni couldn't see even a pinpoint of light. He tried to struggle or resist, but his limbs were weak and numb. Suddenly he felt the pressure on his throat ease up, so he tried once again to cry out, but no sound came out. Something cold was being shoved into his mouth, down his throat, mummifying him from the inside out.

Though he couldn't see anything at all, Giovanni could feel his vision growing blurry, his head swimming.

He saw colors that did not exist. While everything was whirling, he blacked out.
In the void, Giovanni watched himself float aimlessly. It was like a dream where the connection between perception and the body is severed. In fact, Giovanni probably wouldn't have minded the peace and quiet, if he had any grasp on his surroundings. It could have been a relatively painless death.

"How dare you?!" a very familiar voice called to him through the darkness.

A single clear thought came to the forefront of Giovanni's mind. I'm not dead?! He forced himself to open his eyes. There in front of him, standing under some sort of spotlight, was a figure. Giovanni's vision was so blurry, he couldn't recognize the person.

"How could you do this to the people who need you? The people who always followed you, who respected you? Who cared about you all this time?!"

Giovanni felt shock split his mind, like a lightning strike. Ariana! He tried and failed to yell out to her. It was as if he had no mouth at all.

Ariana stomped on the blurry, black floor. "It's no wonder Silver hates you." Her voice cracked a bit. "You know what happens to men like you, Giovanni? They die in some back alley, penniless, friendless, alone. You should just start over from scratch. I mean, you should just kill yourself and start over in the next life!"
Giovanni wanted to yell more than ever. He felt a tumultuous mix of rage and disappointment. He didn't understand the disappointment–he had left the past in the past. He hated things he didn't understand, which made him even more angry. But he was still frozen, unable to lash out at all.

"I'd have Vileplume kill you right now, but that would be an insult to her deadly spores," said Ariana.

Am I in some kind of Hell? Giovanni wondered. If so, this torture is lacking. I don't care about any of this. There's no chance that I could. I've let all this go, and it doesn't even remotely matter to me anymore. I don't care at all! His rage was red hot and broiling. It shot hideous splotches of color all throughout his vision, clouding Ariana under an endless red fog. Giovanni felt it filling his lungs–he had forgotten he even had them. Right as he realized this, he felt himself drown, the burning red corruption replace more and more of his body.

A glimmer of violet slashed the fog apart. Light flooded in from the cut. Giovanni's entire body felt numb, but he could see in front of him. He was lying on the grass. He heard hissing noise from above him. His head jolted upward. He saw a pair of dark red eyes, framed in long eyelashes.

"...Ariana?" he asked, tentatively.

The creature hissed at him. Giovanni noticed blue fur and a pink, feathered headdress. It was a Weavile that had been eying him.

He heard someone walk up to him. "This is a pathetic display down to the smallest detail. Get up."
Giovanni looked in the direction the voice had come from. He saw the pink-haired scientist, Inari, the caller of the E-Anon meetings. She looked as cross as Koga battling a steel-type specialist. "I'm used to Ghetsis causing trouble, but this is a first. You must be quite stupid to get caught like that."

"I am not like the rest of these fools!" Giovanni snapped. He felt a sharp pain in his head, and a wave of exhaustion washed over him. He felt drops of sweat running down his face, and he was short of breath. The Cofagrigus did something horrible to me, he thought. "My Pokémon," he mumbled.

"I'm afraid the plans for everyone to get a Pokémon back have been canceled," said Inari. "Something else will be revealed to you tomorrow." She turned away from Giovanni, to some service people. "Half of you, clean up this mess. The rest of you return our more unruly recovering evildoers to their living quarters. If you need me, you know where I'll be." Inari walked to the other side of the building and left.

Weavile hissed again. Giovanni looked back at it, and saw that it was reaching down to him. Reluctantly, Giovanni accepted the help, and Weavile pushed him back to his feet. But Giovanni still felt very woozy.
As Giovanni had expected would happen, Cyrus walked up to him. He looked no less vacant than usual. Without saying anything, he held up a pokéball and had Weavile return to it.

"So, it was you who freed me from that garish coffin. Why would you do that?" asked Giovanni. "If you think you have use for me, mark my words–I do not feel held by any notion of debt."

Cyrus nodded slightly. "I understand. But tell me... do you want to leave this prison?" he asked quietly.

Giovanni blinked. He was about to reply when two Rangers walked up to him. One of them tapped him on the shoulder. "It's bed time, Mr. Giovanni," he said. The two of them each grabbed one of Giovanni's arms and dragged him away.

"It's not even sunset!" yelled Giovanni.

"Early to bed, early to rise!" said one of the Rangers.


Giovanni had a horrible time trying to sleep. He was used to crashing into bed, exhausted, after one too many round of battles at the PWT. His circadian rhythms had been, likely permanently, disturbed. Even the fact that there were no windows in his room didn't help him to relax.

After hours of tossing and turning, and drifting in and out of his usual nightmares, he gave up on trying to sleep. Somehow image of Ariana, spurned and angry. Somehow the idea of her still living somewhere, disillusioned and alone, didn't bring him any of the spiteful pride he had hoped would come.

Giovanni got up and sighed. His eyes felt like they were burning from the dryness of the room. More like a cell, he thought. He just stared at the door for a few minutes. Just as he was about to try and sleep again, Giovanni heard the faint sound of footsteps outside. The sounds grew louder until they suddenly stopped.
They must be right outside the door, thought Giovanni. He carefully got out of bed and took a few steps forward as stealthily as he could manage. He listened intently for more noises.

"How could you make a mistake like that?" somebody said in a hushed tone.

That voice... it's that crazy woman's, right? Inari? Giovanni thought. What is she talking about? He leaned
closer to the door.

"What was it you said Ghetsis did again?" asked Inari.

"Uh... he said he was having heart trouble, and only his Pokémon could help."

This must be some idiotic guard, thought Giovanni.

"And you believed him?" asked Inari.

There was no answer.

"Oh, this is troublesome," muttered Inari. "Ghetsis might have had the most money of any of our... patients. Oh well. I'll make sure to punish you soon." She and the guard walked away.

Giovanni's eyes were wide. Wait, Ghetsis escaped? Somebody so ignorant got away, and I'm still here?! He walked over the the bed and collapsed into it again. "I don't even care if the security cameras saw me listen in," he muttered, face down. I'm a loser. I can't do anything right... was his last thought as he finally fell asleep for good.


=====

Giovanni woke up to the sound of his door unbolting. He dreaded the morning wake-up call. Not only would it aggravate his depression even further, but his sleep the night before had been spotty and restless. He did not even want to get up. Outside, he heard the sound of people clamoring in the hall, and his leaden dread just grew more intense.

Half-a-minute later, nobody had opened the door, and the sound of footsteps in the hall had stopped. Is it possible? wondered Giovanni. I've been spared? He got out of bed and slunk to the door. He waited a few seconds more before opening it a sliver. Nobody was outside.

Giovanni quietly left the room. He knew that at one end of the hall was the entrance to the courtyard, but he didn't know what was at the other end. It was his chance to explore. He walked down the hall, and examined the doors as he passed by. They all looked identical to the door of his room. These are the living quarters for all the inmates, he decided.

At the end of the hall, there was a reinforced metal door. It had no markings on it, but Giovanni heard a low buzzing noise form inside. He felt pressure emanating from it–the kind of feeling one gets before a terrible cataclysm. He had a feeling the door could be alarmed, so he didn't try to open it. He turned, left, and headed for the courtyard.


=====

Giovanni saw a bunch of trainers, each with a pokéball, out on the lawn. But that Inari woman canceled this event, he thought. What are these Pokémon?

Giovanni really didn't want to have to talk to anyone, but he reluctantly walked into the crowd, if only to because he assumed that he'd be forced to do it anyway. He wasn't even curious about what Cyrus had been trying to tell him the day before. Something about an escape plan.... but this isn't like a blockbuster movie. I'd never be able to escape. I'm such a failure–wait. Giovanni suddenly stopped walking and looked straight forward, feeling his anger flare up again. If I give up like that, I really am a failure! Ghetsis can't beat me! I'll show him and everyone else! He scowled and put his hands in his pockets. And as for Cyrus, I can just go along with his plan and then throw him under the bus when it's convenient for me. I can and will escape! But even after looking through the entire crowd, Giovanni didn't see Cyrus anywhere. With these nutcases around, he probably wouldn't tell me anything, anyway, he thought. I can be patient as long as I get my revenge on everyone eventually.

In the middle of the lawn was a splintering table with a single box on it. It had a crossed off name on the side. Giovanni concluded that these were Pokémon being offered to anyone. He hoped whatever was inside wasn't weak and useless. He hurried to the box and peered inside–only two pokéballs left. They each had the names of Pokémon written on them. One said: LUVDISC, the other: SEWADDLE.

"This choice is obvious," Giovanni said to himself. He reached for the Sewaddle.

"Hey, that Pokémon's mine, over here!" A tall, blond haired woman ran over to the table. "Hand it over, old man!"

Oh great, she has one of the most grating accents of Unova. "And why would I give it to the likes of you?" asked Giovanni. "You take the Luvdisc like a good little girl."

"You can't disrespect me! I'm gonna work my way up and be a guard over here! I mean, I bet you're not even really Italian."

Giovanni rolled his eyes. "Why, that's true. I'm really part of the Russian Mafia. The fact that I speak Italian, and that my name is Giovanni is completely coincidental."

The woman grinned. "I knew it, you're a faker! Now gimme my Pokémon!"

"No," Giovanni said, flatly. He turned away, but ran into a Ranger.

The Pokémon Ranger looked somewhat stern. "What seems to be the problem here? Is there a disagreement?"
"Giovanni won't give me the Sewaddle, but it's mine, man," the woman whined like a toddler. "He's supposed to take that pathetic Luvdisc."

Giovanni shrugged. "I saw the Sewaddle first. First come, first served, right, Pokémon ranger?" he asked in a faux-pleasant tone of voice.

"Well," said the Ranger, "there's a simple way to find out who owns it.... Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!"
Giovanni scowled. "What."

"What's that?" asked the woman. "Is it a ritual with blood and pentagrams n' stuff?"

"Naw, all I do is this. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a Raikou by the toe..." The Ranger pointed to each of them as he spoke. "Whoops. Sorry, Giovanni, but the Pokémon belongs to her."

Giovanni froze. He watched, utterly silent, as the woman laughed, took the Pokémon, and both she and the Ranger left. Giovanni quivered until the rage seeped out of his pores. His head was pounding; the entire world around him had stopped moving. His breaths grew short and raspy. "Impossible," he muttered to nobody. "It's impossible! That Pokémon was mine!" He slammed his fists on the table. It shook slightly, which wasn't nearly enough for Giovanni. He kept hitting the table, over and over, until his hands felt like they had been smashed by mallets. People were starting to slowly back away, but he didn't notice. "Why does everything get taken from me? Why?!" he screamed. Tears came to his eyes, and he collapsed onto the table, his face hidden by his arms. His body was wracked by his sobs.

After the sobs stopped coming, he looked up at the box and pulled it over. The pokéball rolled out. "This Luvdisc is all I have left! This universally despised waste of a Pokémon, though it's supposed to be the harbinger of love." He slowly stood up. There was a sharp pain in his back. "And yet, maybe it's more than I even deserve," he whispered. He picked up the pokéball and pressed the button. He dropped the ball on the ground, and it rolled slightly. It shook, and with a flash of light, it revealed none other than a cheerful, bright pink, smiling, Clefairy.

"Pipiriiin," said the Clefairy.

Giovanni looked down at it.

It looked up at him.

Giovanni picked the pokéball of the ground and read what was written on it. On it was printed, unmistakably and in very neat handwriting: CLEFAIRY.

"I've gone mad," said Giovanni.

"Madness is subjective, as you should be intelligent enough to know." Cyrus was standing behind him, holding his own pokéball.

Giovanni whirled around, startled. He scanned the area, and saw that nobody else was nearby. He dried his eyes on his sleeve. "I... was feigning madness to get everyone to leave me alone!"

"That would be impressive if it were true," said Cyrus.

Giovanni glared at him. "You didn't come here just to criticize me. Get to the point," he hissed.

Cyrus held out his pokéball. It had "LUVDISC" printed on it. "As you are a better Pokémon Trainer than I am, I switched the pokéballs so that you were left with the stronger–"

"I don't want your pity!" snapped Giovanni.

"Pity is a product of our contemptible, incomplete hearts. What I did was for strategic purposes only." Cyrus pocketed Luvdisc's pokéball. "I need you to distract the guards while I disconnect the fence controller.
Afterward, your Clefairy can break through the fence."

"And why did you ask me for help? I don't trust anybody, especially not sociopaths."

"The other inmates here have either refused to work with me, or simply have no battling experience. As for you not trusting me... that is good. Trust only creates strife. But that's beside the point–going along with my plan will benefit you."

I want to escape, and yet... Giovanni looked down at his Clefairy, who was happily skipping around his feet. It's true that I have other Pokémon stored in the PC, and I want to escape, but still...I want to retrieve my stolen Pokémon. Then again, if I don't leave now, the staff here could kill me and I'd never get my powerful Pokémon back. It had never occurred to Giovanni that carrying around all of his best Pokémon at all times could have been a problem. He had always assumed that he could easily crush any thief that tried to take his Pokémon. Attacking trainers was unheard of. "Fine, I'm in. Just remember, Cyrus, I have no issue with taking care of former teammates."

"I expected as much. You are of somewhat above-average intelligence, after all...." said Cyrus. His face betrayed no emotion.

"What a charmer you are," Giovanni said, sarcastically.

All the way from across the lawn, none other than Lass Mia came running up to them. She skidded to a halt, after which she was out of breath. "Is that a Clefairy?!" she shrieked. "It's even cuter in real life! Oh, my goodness! Can I trade you my new Sunkern for it, Mr. Giovanni?!"

Giovanni gave her a look harsher than a Gengar's Mean Look. "No."

"Aw, well I tried," she said. "But I don't understand. I thought only a Luvdisc was left? No offense, but you were late today, Mr. Giovanni. I was actually thinking of taking it for myself, but then I realized it wasn't exactly fair."

"Cyrus switched Pokémon with me," said Giovanni. "That Luvdisc is his now."

Lass Mia blinked a few times. She looked between Cyrus and Giovanni. She gave them a big, sunny smile. "That's so sweet! That's like he stole your heart! And now you'll have eternal love."

Giovanni was totally flabbergasted by this comment.

"You should hear this while you are still young," said Cyrus, blank as ever. "Love of any intensity is a transient state that only brings suffering in the end. It dies like everything else. I have shunned emotions for a reason–there are no 'positive' or 'negative' emotions, no matter what anybody says." When Mia just mirrored his blank look, he continued speaking. "...not to mention the fact that Giovanni and I just met... and the drastic age difference between us."

"That's okay. May-December romances are cute, too! Have fun, lovebirds," she said. "I need to go play with Sunshine the Sunkern!" She ran off again.

Giovannni returned Clefairy to its pokéball. "I want to leave as soon as possible," he muttered. "When did you want to exact this plan of yours?"

"After the other inmates leave the courtyard," said Cyrus.

"Fair enough, but I am not waiting an instant longer!" He paused. "By the way, what did you mean about a drastic age difference? For your continued safety, you had better not think that I'm eighty years old."

"As I did not appear to age in the other world, I am twenty eight."

Giovanni adjusted his fedora. "Really? Not even your parents loved you, did they?"

"That's very obvious," Cyrus stated, in monotone.

"I'm getting increasingly concerned about you...."