English is a magnificent language!

I agree with you there, Zero. English is just a mess of many languages mixed into one abomination. But since I'm taking a course in English in college, I gotta deal with it. I have a friend who's a linguist, and he's always ranting about how much of a mess english is.

 

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Truth.

While English is technically my first language everybody else around me has it as their second, and everytime they mispronounce or misspell something I get a little startled on just how crazy the English language actually is. I end up having debates with my classmates trying to explain the intricacies of the language and its just plain silly.

 

I'll just leave this here.

 

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That just shows how messed up it really is

 

I got a headache trying to read this

Also, why is it that you can read a red book about reeds you’ve already read? Who thought this was a good idea?
Or: be in the lead as you lead the pencil lead where you already led it.

 

What is this Engoish you speak of? I really do hate this language that I've grown up in. It has caused me serious pain since I was young and my disabilities have only made my hate for this screwed up language grow stronger. I still have a really bad problem reading anything on a page and if I haven't read a word before, it might as well be alien to me how its pronounced or read.

When I discuss how bad the English language I general default to Star, Stare, and Stairs. What is going on here! I had other, but forgot them.

Spoiler

 

English is hard. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though. (NONE of those last 4 words have the same pronunciation!)
There's a rather long poem that basically lists words that look similar but have different pronunciations.
Better yet - words that look the same, but have different pronunciations ("I'm content with this content.")
It could be worse, though. In some languages, words can look and sound the same, but putting a different inflection on them can give them different meanings.

 

If teachers can teach, why can't fingers fing?
And here's a life saving trick. Literally.
Let's eat Grandpa!
Let's eat, Grandpa!
You see, the words, When, Where, and What can all be answered by replacing the W with a T.

 

We have a word that means to slap something with a fish (cornobble), but not a word for the feeling of when you see something cute and you really want to squeeze it.

 

This genuinely made me kind of angry. English, why.

 

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

 

The plural for fish is fish, but only when you're talking about several of the same kind of fish. If you're talking about several different kinds, it's fishes. There is no reason for this.

 

I am is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

 

It's just weird. Other languages make up huge sentences with large meanings in short amounts of words. This barely means anything though.

Edit: I read the one about like 7 buffalo(s) (is that correct since I'm referring to the word not the animal?) and now I'm laughing so hard

 

What about one word commands like “Run.” or “Sleep.”?

Also, I never thought English was that bad. Until I read the ‘poem’ OzoneFruit posted. Now I think that the English language needs modification.

 

Complete sentences require a subject and a predicate. Although there is the "understood you" or whatever, that means to make it a sentence you add the word "you", which is already taking more letters than "I am".

 

I took a "how many words do you know" test and now have a new profound hatred for English.
Like who the fuck made up these words? How do you even say them? What's the use of them just say a synonym that doesn't look like someones cat walked on the keyboard to make it!
We honestly need a language that only has 1000 words, and that's pushing it. We need to go back to caveman grunting.

Oh here's the quiz!
https://www.arealme.com/vocabulary-size-test/en/