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English is a magnificent language!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Absolute Zero, Mar 4, 2019.

  1. Absolute Zero

    Absolute Zero The second seal

    Jeff
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    The title is sarcasm. English is a diseased mutation of a chimera which can't even agree with itself within the same geographical region or linguistic purpose. Pronunciation is inconsistent, syntax is unintuitive, and even the exceptions to the rules have multiple sets of exceptions, which have exceptions of their own! Really, I before E? Except after C, that is. Except-except-except if the word has a hard A sound like weigh and neighbor, where I comes after E again regardless of C. Also-except other entirely arbitrary and weird words for no explainable reason... so pretty much it's "I comes before E, except when it doesn't".

    Anyway, I've been wanting to vent out some things I dislike about this language we all share. Like how wore sounds like war but more doesn't sound like mar. Or why "its" is the only pronoun-possessive that does not have an apostrophe for no reason at all, or the inconsistent spelling of four, fourteen, and forty.

    How about you? Are there any frustrating things about our shared language that you want to grumble about?
     
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  2. Barandofl

    Barandofl The eyeless user

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    I agree with you there, Zero. English is just a mess of many languages mixed into one abomination. But since I'm taking a course in English in college, I gotta deal with it. I have a friend who's a linguist, and he's always ranting about how much of a mess english is.
     
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  3. Wizard

    Wizard Do you feel it? The moon's power!

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    This might be the best thing I've heard about English.

    I'm always incredibly impressed by the people that can learn English as a second language (and third, etc.). As somebody who has grown up speaking English, I still can't get a grasp on a lot of it! The word "read" sums a lot of my feelings about it. This word demonstrates not only a present tense, but can also mean past tense, which carries a different pronunciation. WHY?

    English is a mess, honestly. I'm glad it was my first language so I didn't have to learn all the annoying intricacies in another setting. This language needs to take a chill pill.
     
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  4. Glitxel

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    ^
    Truth.

    While English is technically my first language everybody else around me has it as their second, and everytime they mispronounce or misspell something I get a little startled on just how crazy the English language actually is. I end up having debates with my classmates trying to explain the intricacies of the language and its just plain silly.
     
  5. OzoneFruit

    OzoneFruit Made The Arcadia Virus a Cute Anime Girl

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  6. Glitxel

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  7. RadEmpoleon

    RadEmpoleon certified EPIC Gamer™ (they/them)

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    I got a headache trying to read this

    Also, why is it that you can read a red book about reeds you’ve already read? Who thought this was a good idea?
    Or: be in the lead as you lead the pencil lead where you already led it.
     
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  8. SyWry

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    What is this Engoish you speak of? I really do hate this language that I've grown up in. It has caused me serious pain since I was young and my disabilities have only made my hate for this screwed up language grow stronger. I still have a really bad problem reading anything on a page and if I haven't read a word before, it might as well be alien to me how its pronounced or read.

    When I discuss how bad the English language I general default to Star, Stare, and Stairs. What is going on here! I had other, but forgot them.

    image0.jpg
     
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    #8 Mar 4, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2019
  9. ID Zeta

    ID Zeta Resident Physicist

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    English is hard. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though. (NONE of those last 4 words have the same pronunciation!)
    There's a rather long poem that basically lists words that look similar but have different pronunciations.
    Better yet - words that look the same, but have different pronunciations ("I'm content with this content.")
    It could be worse, though. In some languages, words can look and sound the same, but putting a different inflection on them can give them different meanings.
     
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  10. Rezna

    Rezna Every Day's Great at Your Junes!

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    If teachers can teach, why can't fingers fing?
    And here's a life saving trick. Literally.
    Let's eat Grandpa!
    Let's eat, Grandpa!
    You see, the words, When, Where, and What can all be answered by replacing the W with a T.
     
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  11. Arctiquaza

    Arctiquaza Never quite gone

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    We have a word that means to slap something with a fish (cornobble), but not a word for the feeling of when you see something cute and you really want to squeeze it.
     
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  12. Wolf Expert

    Wolf Expert Canine Scholar

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  13. Rezna

    Rezna Every Day's Great at Your Junes!

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    Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?
     
  14. Arctiquaza

    Arctiquaza Never quite gone

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    The plural for fish is fish, but only when you're talking about several of the same kind of fish. If you're talking about several different kinds, it's fishes. There is no reason for this.
     
  15. Rezna

    Rezna Every Day's Great at Your Junes!

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    I am is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
     
  16. Absolute Zero

    Absolute Zero The second seal

    Jeff
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    So?

    Edited, after me being educated that my joke was factually incorrect:

    It is.
     
    #16 Mar 6, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2019
  17. Rezna

    Rezna Every Day's Great at Your Junes!

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    It's just weird. Other languages make up huge sentences with large meanings in short amounts of words. This barely means anything though.

    Edit: I read the one about like 7 buffalo(s) (is that correct since I'm referring to the word not the animal?) and now I'm laughing so hard
     
    #17 Mar 6, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2019
  18. FireSpartan5

    FireSpartan5 Pokémon Professor

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    What about one word commands like “Run.” or “Sleep.”?

    Also, I never thought English was that bad. Until I read the ‘poem’ OzoneFruit posted. Now I think that the English language needs modification.
     
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  19. Rezna

    Rezna Every Day's Great at Your Junes!

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    Complete sentences require a subject and a predicate. Although there is the "understood you" or whatever, that means to make it a sentence you add the word "you", which is already taking more letters than "I am".
     
  20. Azazel

    Azazel Better count your blessings

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    I took a "how many words do you know" test and now have a new profound hatred for English.
    Like who the fuck made up these words? How do you even say them? What's the use of them just say a synonym that doesn't look like someones cat walked on the keyboard to make it!
    We honestly need a language that only has 1000 words, and that's pushing it. We need to go back to caveman grunting.

    Oh here's the quiz!
    https://www.arealme.com/vocabulary-size-test/en/
     

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