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Fanfiction Even If No One Else Will

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Evangeline H, Oct 13, 2018.

  1. Evangeline H

    Evangeline H Youngster

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    Clemont sat alone again in his room, high above Lumiouse City in Lumiouse tower. Tonight he was feeling especially... depressed. Especially lonely. But he can’t tell his darling little sister that now can he? No, he can’t. Instead of surrounding himself with books of all sorts of STEM topics, he found himself surrounded with Bonnie’s books. Rather than learning more about the wonders of electromagnetics he read the story of Cinderella. Instead of looking deeper into engineering for his next great invention he had a book called The Princess and the Frog. He never does this, so why? Why was he so alone? Why did he need the comfort of fairy tales stolen from his sister to give him comfort? He didn’t know, and right now he could care less. He just needed some form of comfort.
    Going through yet another one of his sister’s fairy tales in the stack he took, a crayon colored masterpiece caught his eye. Many sheets of paper cut in half and scribbled upon held togetherness by a lone staple sat on top of a collection of old nursery rhymes he remembered telling Bonnie as her goodnight stories before giving her the due goodnight kiss. The cover was a little doodle of himself, scribbled in crayon with the glasses added on in pencil. In the same pencil, a child’s handwriting read I Love My Big Brother. Curious, Clemont reached for the homemade book and held it under his lamp. This is one of Bonnie’s homemade books she was so proud of when she was younger. No better time than midnight to finally get around to reading it.
    The first page was a little doodle of crayon Clemont holding hands with crayon Bonnie. Both of them had pencil sketch smiles on their waxy faces. The writing next to the paper read as following: I love my big brother Clemont. He is my prince and my hero! He smiled, practically hearing the now seven (and three quarters) year old girl cheering out those words like she often does. Constant reminders that she loves him. Constant smiles and happiness and pouty faces when she doesn’t get her favorite chocolate cereal for breakfast. He was tempted to say he loves her too, but she wasn’t there. It was only a colored person on a piece of paper.
    Clemont’s smile fell when he got to the next page. Crayon Clemont as sitting down with his magnetite hovering around him. Crayon Clemont was crying. Clemont’s eyes darted over to the words to see what it read. But he cries. He is lonely. I hear him at night. It’s really sad. Clemont looked over at his bedroom door, shut as right as a safe. Was this how Bonnie feels? Does she know? When was this written? So many questions filled his head as he flipped the page, almost dying to know what comes next.
    Crayon Clemont wasn’t there. It was crayon Bonnie holding hands with some black colored in person. The whole outline of the person’s body was just scribbled in with black crayon and a red question mark was held over their head. They also had black lines symbolizing long hair. Crayon Bonnie was smiling. Shadow person was also smiling. There was a big heart in between the two. But Daddy says he just needs a girlfriend and he won’t be sad! So I am making it my job to find big brother a girlfriend! So this is where she gets it from. She thinks all his sadness will go away if she finds someone to take care of him. There was always some deeper meaning to everything, huh? He shook his head, feeling tears threatening to leave his eyes. He didn’t notice his bedroom door cracking open a little bit when he turned the page to continue the adventures of crayon Clemont.
    Crayon Clemont was now with the shadow person and crayon Bonnie, all holding hands. Everyone wore a smile. Clemont felt his first tear drip down his cheek and land right ontop of crayon Bonnie’s face. He didn’t want to read it, but at the same time he did. I just want Clemont to be happy. Once I find the right girl, I know you will be! It’s hard though. It is hard. He wanted to give her a hug. He noticed that the next page was the last. His heart couldn’t take any more, but it needed to. He had to see the last page.
    I love you, Clemont, even if no one else will. Crayon Clemont and Crayon Bonnie were hugging whole crayon Clemont cried. Clemont closed the book and held it to his chest, almost hugging it like a schoolgirl a confession letter from her crush. Bonnie was so sweet and kind and innocent and pure and precious and the best little sister ever. He wished it wasn’t midnight so he could go rush up to her and tell her how much he loves her. He wanted to say right then and there that he is proud to be her older brother. He wanted to thank her right then there for caring for him like no one else can. He knew he couldn’t, but he could. He heard his bedroom door creak open. A crying little sister in her Pokémon pajamas stood there, rubbing her eyes.
    “Please don’t cry Clemont! It makes me sad!” Bonnie cried out to her older brother. Clemont dropped the paper book and scrambled to stand up, rushing over to his little sister he loved so very, very much. He held her tight, trying to comfort her. It was the very same scene in the last page of the book, except Bonnie was crying too. “It’s okay, Bonnie. Thank you so much. I love you. Please don’t cry Bonnie.” Clemont had too many things to say at once. Bonnie gripped the back of her brother’s shirt, crying into the sleeve.
    Bonnie loves Clemont, even if no one else will.
     
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  2. Negative Zero

    Negative Zero The most positive negative number you know!

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    This was a very nice vignette. Somehow Bonnie seems like a very real person, with her simple directness; not overly articulate or clever for someone her age. Clemont goes against my uneducated impression of him (I've seen only a few glimpses of the Pokémon anime lately), but if your believable Bonnie (of whom I have no preconceptions) is any indication, I expect your Clemont is probably true to source as well; and this short read is just packed with true and proper character exposition.

    And, might I say, you do conservation of detail impeccably. As far as visuals are concerned, I think my imagination was appropriately guided without being forced, and that's a fine line to walk, done very well.
     
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  3. Evangeline H

    Evangeline H Youngster

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    Alright. So I actually used the games and the anime as sources and merged the two into how I viewed Clemont. Personally, I saw him as a boy with many insecurities and he tends to hide them from those he cares about. In the anime he is very anxious and stammers a lot, but can get really really passionate. In the games he is more calm, secluded, and genuinely cares to educate his sister.

    SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FEEDBACK YOU ARE AWESOME I AM LITERALLY BLUSHING FROM THE COMPLIMENTS!!!

    If you want I’m working on a similar thing for the Striaton triplets if you want me to also post that here when I am done.
     
  4. FireSpartan5

    FireSpartan5 Pokémon Professor

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    Cooler Gary Oak ★★★★★Tapunium Z ★★★★★Choice Specs ★★★★★Flame Orb ★★★★★
    Pretty good. I really liked this, you nailed Bonnie. Super touching!
     
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    Evangeline H likes this.
  5. ChocoChicken

    ChocoChicken A Screaming Chicken

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    Misty's EmblemLegendary Triforce ★★
    Like the others said, this was an emotional masterpiece - I almost felt Clemont's tears behind my own eyes! You're an amazing writer! Keep it up!
     
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    Evangeline H likes this.
  6. Evangeline H

    Evangeline H Youngster

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    Oh my goodness thank you so much!
     

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