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Existence

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Fylkii, Nov 3, 2014.

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  1. Fylkii

    Fylkii Youngster

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    Prologue: Hunted

    The black bipedal fox-like creature ran through the misty forest with agility, cutting through the damp air she once called her home. Her red hair extended to nearly her entire body length, tinged with black spikes the color of the darkest night. Her claws were of deep crimson, and had always kept her out of trouble when combat was necessary.

    But in the Zoroark's eyes, true fear radiated. Fear of a predator, one with inhuman strength and power, yet with the intelligence to have tracked her for three months. The fear that induces the panic, the primal will to survive.

    Instinct told her to create her illusion and seek refuge. But that... thing... It could not be eluded. It wasn't natural. Nothing natural could have seen through her illusion. Yet she doubted she had the strength to create one. All her willpower was devoted to fleeing. To see another day.

    The forest seemed endless. But the Zoroark knew, in her years of residence, that she had the advantage here. Something wasn't quite right, and she quickly paused to sniff the air. She felt a human presence, one that needed help. Curiosity broke her will to escape, and she slowly walked to where her senses told her the human was located. Perhaps she thought that the human was a ranger, or at least a trainer that could protect her. Normally the Zoroark would never go near a human without an illusion, but she was desperate. It was likely her only chance.

    --

    It was a good day for Eva. This day marked the second year of her career as the member of a top Ranger company, the Paladins, dedicated to protect the rare and elusive Pokémon of her world. Her partner Grovyle seemed to share the same feeling of accomplishment, although he was born a mute and was limited to only gestures to communicate. Eva seemed to be the only one who understood him, so they soon forged a close bond.

    Eva was assigned to the north-west section of the Lonesome Woods. It was the only post open when she was accepted into the Paladins, and after two years patrolling the area, she knew why. The Lonesome Woods were already quite lonesome, but the north-west seemed the most secluded of them all. It was rumored to drive Rangers insane, but Eva just chuckled at her friend's warnings. After all, she had Grovyle. That was the only company she needed while patrolling these areas.

    The day went past quickly, and soon the stars and moon ascended to the dark blanket of night.

    "Beautiful night, isn't it..." Eva whispered to her partner.

    Grovyle gave no reaction, instead being content to piece together the puzzles formed by the bright stars.
    Several minutes later, Grovyle began to grow restless. He looked over at Eva, and tried to look concerned.

    Eva quickly took notice of her partner's change of mood, and decided they would call it a night.

    "Let's get back before anyone gets worried." Of course they had been out much later, it was just an old joke Grovyle and Eva did not mind sharing even to this day.

    As they packed up their Ranger equipment, the bushes in the left of the clearing started to rustle. Eva dismissed it as the cool spring breeze, but Grovyle sensed something off. He quickly motioned towards Eva, who immediately understood.

    A minute passed yet nothing revealed itself. Yet another minute elapsed, and the motion died.

    "See, Grovyle? Just the wind-"

    Eva froze. This time, she felt the presence of a stranger. Slowly turning her head, she found herself staring into the eyes of the most magnificent creature she had ever seen.

    The Zoroark.

    But Eva could tell that she was afraid. The Zoroark's eyes were wide, and her breaths came in ragged gasps through lungs battered with the stress of constant running. Kneeling to make a less threatening figure, Eva spoke softly to the fox-like Pokémon, trying to calm it down, as she had done many times in her training.

    --

    What are you doing? It isn't safe here!

    The Zoroark tried to warn the Ranger to make her escape. She had hoped that the human would be able to at least help her get to a safe place to rest, but she knew this Ranger and her Grovyle would stand no chance against Zoroark's hunter.

    However, the Ranger just stared. The Pokémon tried again to tell the human of the danger.

    Leave! Before-

    A soft whirring sound echoed through the woods. The sound the Zoroark was running from for the past two months.

    She knew it was too late to run.

    --

    Eva saw it unfold seemingly in slow-motion, viewing every frame but unable to help as a sphere of fire burst through the trees and slammed directly into the Zoroark's back. She was immediately knocked down by the explosion, coughing by the burning smoke thrown by the projectile. The force of the detonation was too powerful; there was no way it was natural.

    "We need to... cough... get out of here..." Eva sputtered to her Grovyle, who was suffering a similar fate sprawled on the cold ground.

    Slowly they crawled to a safe distance, where they wistfully watched the smoke clear through irritated eyes. The Zoroark lay unmoving, eyes closed and teeth clenched in unbearable pain. Her entire back was scorched, and the burn would kill the beautiful Pokémon if not treated. Eva was tempted to return to her side and get her medical attention, but Grovyle held her back and motioned for her to listen.

    Mechanical footsteps echoed across the forest, nearing the location of the fallen Zoroark. The whirring sound slowly faded, and was soon overpowered by the sound of shifting metal components. Then there was silence.

    Through sheer willpower, the severely injured Pokémon tried to lift its head off the floor and turn itself around. But a metal leg came down with force that made Eva wince, forcing the Zoroark's head down. The hunter regarded its prey coldly, oblivious to the presence of the Ranger.

    Eva was frozen in fear, eyes wide and glued with horror, fixated on the ruthless predator claiming victory over its prey. She'd never seen anything like it before. It had the features of an arachnid and an insect... but on its back...

    "Dear Arceus..." Eva managed to gasp.

    Author's Note: Well there's the prologue to my first story. Yay! Currently I have three parts written, but I don't want to post them all at once here and cause too big of a flood. I am not sure if it is possible to format in Italics and whatnot using this editor though, so for full effect you can read the full story on fanfiction.net, with cool italics and bolding and stuff at https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10769069/1/Existence

    As a new writer reviews really help me! Let me know what you think and leave feedback, knowing where to improve is crucial to my development. Thanks for reading.
     
  2. IcyKali

    IcyKali Youngster

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    Okay, here's a review saying how you can improve! :)

    Bolding and italics can actually be done here. You just have to re-format everything... but if you aren't posting the whole story here it shouldn't take too long.



    Why do you only say Zoroark's name at the very end here? Everybody who will read this knows that the description can be only of a Zoroark. If this Zoroark had some special traits you should mention those, or if another character was watching this Zoroark and he/she had never seen one before, then it would make more sense, but you have an omniscient narrator.

    I read the other two chapters on ff.net. I really, really don't like the shift to Genesect's perspective. I think Genesect should either be the POV character from the beginning, or you should not go into its mind. Also, does Genesect... eat? Why does it hunt? Just because it was programmed to do so? But as it thinks to itself, Team Plasma is gone, so... why? If it has autonomy, why does it still work that way?

    NOTE: I will crosspost this review to ff.net as well.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Fylkii

    Fylkii Youngster

    Joined:
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    Chapter 1: Programmed

    There are the hunters and there are the hunted. Remember that, Genesect.

    The words echoed in my head as I looked down at the unconscious Zoroark at my feet. She had eluded me for months. Foxes were cunning creatures, but I was the hunter. I always won. I felt the heat radiating from the machinery on my back, softly hissing from the burst of superheated energy.

    I am unnatural. A creation. A modified experiment, testing the limits of a fusion, one of Pokémon and technology. I can recall little about my past. Most of the memories I possessed are a blank space in my mind. Yet one thing I have remembered. It refuses to be forgotten.

    Team Plasma.

    My creators.

    I come from a past long gone, revived from the dust I had become. Revived as a hunter. That's me. A hunter. A killer. Genesect, terror of the new age. That was all they told me. They refused to reveal anything else. Was I too dangerous?

    I remember nothing after. Another blank space in my memory. In the present, I am lost. Team Plasma is gone and my searches are in vain. There is only me now. And I do what I was created for. What I remember.

    I cursed myself as I realized I was drifting off. Dammit. But what's there to curse about? As if being wired to a machine of destruction, being the machine of destruction, wasn't enough of a curse already. Every day I have felt the weight of the artillery strapped to my back. The innovation of the century, they say. Testing the limits of nature and machine. I grew accustomed to it. I accepted the fact that I was now, so to speak, a living tank.

    I took one more look at my fallen prey, and started walking off. The hunt was over.

    "YOU BASTARD!"

    Who was that? I turned to the sound of the voice. It was a human. She appeared to be female, and in her early stages of maturity.

    "LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!"

    I looked down at the limp body under my feet. She is angry at me for attacking the Zoroark. Of course. Humans always grow attached to Pokémon. But what do you want me to do? Heal her? Do I look like some sort of magical Shaman?

    She didn't respond. I didn't blame her. How could she respond to what she can't hear? Nobody can understand me, and I stopped expecting it long ago. I was not created with a speech drive, I was created with weapon drives. Hunters don't need to talk. All they need is functioning senses and a weapon.

    Right?

    Yet often I find myself lost in thought, drifting away from the solid world and into the deep, endless expanses of my mind. Or what's left of a mind after 300 million years of decay, spliced together by whatever circuitry I was installed with.

    "COLD BLOODED KILLER!"

    The human screamed at me again. Anger is a powerful emotion; it can surpass fear and anxiety, bypass the greatest pains. But I could quickly see the anger-fueled female weakening. I did not give her the satisfaction of a response. I just glared at her, my synthetic eyes unmoving. Before long she had walked away, retreating to the safety of her kin, leaving only me to ponder her accusations. To drift among thought once more and rationalize with myself.

    Heartless bastard... Cold-Blooded killer...

    I already knew I had no heart to pump blood through my body. But then again, I am not the only hunter in this world to lack a circulatory and cardiovascular system. Was she accusing me of being unnatural then, a monstrosity of technology's most cruel advancements put together in the means of me? I was created to be a hunter, a tracker. It's not horrible for a hunter to make a kill, yet why did the human denounce me for it?

    Cold Blooded. Heartless.

    And in that moment, I understood why she hated me, loathed my existence.

    Emotions... Pity. Mercy. Fear. Anger.

    I am not programmed to feel emotion. Is it my fault? Or is it my creator's? Do they believe it is unnecessary for me to be able to feel as they shaped me to their will?

    What is my existence without emotions? Am I just a ruthless hunter, killing everything in my path without hesitation or second thought? Because I was created to do so?

    Perhaps I was supposed to be an icon of fear and destruction, as my makers intended when they fused nature and machine to create the most dangerous and effective weapon.

    But tonight, I refused to be the killer I was designed to be.

    I may not be programmed to feel.

    I may not be programmed to cry.

    I may not be programmed to laugh.

    I may not be programmed for mercy.

    I may not be programmed for compassion.

    I may not be programmed for empathy.

    But I can think, and I can act. I was given an independent mind with functioning limbs. My creators are no longer on this world.

    Tonight, I would be my own programmer.

    Tonight, I would defy my purposes.

    --

    The Zoroark's breaths came in shallow patterns, accompanied by a weak cough as her lungs struggled for the oxygen her body demanded. Many Pokémon were fragile, and life slipped through their bodies rather easily.

    I carried her through the misty forest of night's domain as gently as a mechanical hunter could manage. Starlight quickly faded as the trees grew thicker and the bush grew denser. But I knew where I was going.

    We are almost there.

    You are not dying on me.

    And for a moment, her eyes flickered open and seemed to acknowledge me before closing again, leaving me in order to return to the dark clutches of unconsciousness.

    But for that moment, that split-second, it almost seemed as if she understood.
     
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