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Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Synthesia, Aug 14, 2015.

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  1. Synthesia

    Synthesia Bird Keeper

    Nov 6, 2014
    I hate this city.
    I hate this place.
    I hate everything.

    The world, was a lie to me. Everything is inevitable. Death, loss, and grief.
    As I got in to my High School years, trying to have a reason to live.
    And yet I look at my life and find it hasn't worked out the way they planned.

    I wasn't lied on purpose, of course. But I was lied nonetheless.

    I woke up.
    As I wished for my endless sleep.
    I wish I was alone.
    The hardest part wasn't losing them, it was to live without them.

    That's right.
    My mother died by a car accident, when I was 7.
    With that, the effect to my father was severe depression.
    He skipped work. He was drinking mindlessly. He was gambling.


    2 years passed. Finally, he got back to work.
    However, my right arm broke because of the fight he did with me that night.
    I couldn't draw properly. I couldn't write well.
    That's why I left. I hated him.

    I missed those days when my father rather lived and made me watch him than listening to how to live.
    But now, it meant nothing.


    3 years back, I went to nursery.
    Was it better?
    Honestly, it was a quintessential to my home.
    And before I could think about anything,


    I jolted for a second.


    The woman opened the door slightly, asking me that the nursery president has to have a appointment with me.
    It was more than obvious what he would tell me.

    "Did you call me?"

    The nursery president looked at me after he put down the newspaper he was reading.

    "Ah... yes."

    I was a girl who filled their duties... like a slave.

    After what he said, He opened his wallet and took some money out of it.

    "Now, you can go back. ...eat something nice too... dear."

    I hesitated. "Dear..." What a joke.

    With that money, for three years... I collected every single one in the drawer. It eventually filled it.
    I was saving the money... to get out of this prison...


    It was night,


    The door opened, and turning back, it was my nursery brother.

    "Oh, Nolan, what are you doing, not sleeping?"

    Shaking his body rapidly in fright, he said, "I- ... make me do it too, please..."

    I looked at him. He was having a few dollars on his hands and wanted me to take it.
    I looked at him constantly...

    That night, I wondered.

    If this was the end, or if I can change.
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  2. Pitmore

    Pitmore Mild Internal Pain

    Nov 6, 2014

    Hey! Its nice! Although the way its arranged reminds me more of a poem. even if it isn't written that way. Maybe take some of the lines away. Saying all this though the book is very clever with instant visuals and well-formed sentences! I can't wait for more!
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  3. Eclipse

    Level 82
    Apr 3, 2015
    Marshadium Z ★★★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Comet Shard ★★★★Mewnium Z  ★★★★★
    Is it strange that I cannot truly tell if this is fiction or not? It feels like something that is real, that could have happened, and yet there feels to be something off about it. I think it's the thought of a 12-year-old girl living in a nursery that might tip me off that this might be fiction. But I cannot say.

    It's an interesting collection of thoughts, to be sure. How much money is being amassed, and exactly what will it be used for? (I assume some sort of savings to establish a dwelling place in the event of escape.) Why does someone else want to come along (Nolan) and how does he know? How did the unnamed girl end up here to begin with, and if any escape is successful, what then?

    To try and make sense of it all I have to make a lot of assumptions - but in cases like these, making assumptions is part of the fun.

    ...I consulted my dictionary, and I found that 'quintessential' is used only as an adjective, not a noun, so it wouldn't be "it was a quintessential to my home"; the article 'a' is unneeded. I thought it might be a noun in some contexts, but...I learn something new every day, it would seem.
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