Fanfiction Fate: The Story About the Intertwined Destinies of Two Great Friends

Back in 2016, because a fanfiction event had only one submission, I was invited to make a submission. This is my first and only Pokémon fanfiction, and will likely be my last as well. I hope you enjoy this great epic about some realistic personalities

(TLDR this was written by me 3 years ago as a joke)
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Once upon two times, there was a little Pidgey named Swellow. Now Swellow was actually a Pidgey so don't get confused. One day, Swellow was flying around a tree, and then a young trainer caught it and left. That was the end of Swellow.

Anyways, onto the real story. This time we will be talking about the second time, not the first one referenced at the beginning of the story. Ok, here goes.

There was once a tiny pompous Heliolisk. As it turns out, that Heliolisk happened to be named Sand, so everybody always associated it with a beach, even though it didn't live close to one. In fact, Sand didn't even like water. One day, Sand's friends thought it would be a great idea to take him to the beach, so they kidnapped him after using Spore and dumped him off at a distant beach all by himself.

Sand stood up from his unexpected nap and wondered, Why in the heck am I at a beach? I don't even like water, tbh. Although Sand wasn't a huge fan of beaches, he rather did like the salty odor that ocean was giving off. It reminded him of the tears of young children.

He didn't receive an answer, as he was just wondering this in his head. Instead of pouting and wondering why he was there, Sand was a good little Heliolisk and decided to take a stroll down the beach. As it turned out, Sand hated the feeling of sand under his feet, so he decided to take sanctuary in a small nearby cave. As he approached, it became evident that there was something in the cave. Sand, being the stupid guy he was, elected to enter the mysterious cave in which he would almost certainly die. As he walked into the cave, he immediately saw a majestic Lugia, its white feathers glowing magnificently in the dark, with its bright eyes glowing. Power emanated so obviously from it. It was truly a magnificent sight to behold. One might wonder how to proceed from that delicate point...

Sand said, "YO FAM WASSUP"

It was for this precise reason that his friends dumped at the beach in the first place: he was a stupid moron.

The Lugia looked up and said, "Aight m8 u wanna fite les fite 1 v 1 me i was sleep"

Sand was like, "K bro, I gotchu. Let's take this outside"

Lugia was like, "OMG base scurb, my names Onionbreath and u lost fam"

Onionbreath and Sand preceded to exit the cave, muttering meme-based insults at each other. Their rivalry had already escalated to the next level, and they hardly knew each other. Meanwhile, the beautiful scenery continued, undisturbed by two quarreling beasts of sub-par levels of intelligence. The waves continued to brush the shore, until its hair was all brushed out.

Onionbreath and Sand got into position. Sand said, "Fam, Ima win so hard"

Onionbreath said, "Yee rite m9"

The two instantly clashed, the battle intensified immediately. It was Final Destination, Fox v Falco, 1 v 1, no items. Just kidding, you believed me, I lied.

Sand used its most powerful move, Flash, and temporarily blinded Onionbreath with its amazing flashing skills. Onionbreath countered with a kitchen counter, and then followed up with its most powerful move: Flash. The two continued to flash each other incessantly before Sand switched it up and went for Attract. As it turns out, Lugia doesn't have a gender, so it was for naught. Onionbreath decided to use its next best move: Swagger. Sand realized that he had Swagger as well, and countered. As historians say, the Swagger was strong that day.

The Swagger continued late into the evening, when the sunset was just right. Of course nobody noticed it, they were too busy fighting. The sunset was only there for dramatic effect and so cheesy anime music could play.

All of a sudden, Sand switched it up with his favorite move: Rest. Onionbreath was like "FAM IMA TRY THAT" and fell right asleep as well. The two Pokémon slept until the next morning, and they were both super hungry, so they decided to call a truce.

Sand was like, "U MLG Bro?"

Onionbreath said, "Heck yeah, u like Doritos and Mountain Dew?"

Sand said, "Yeeeee"

So the two went to Walmart and got discount Doritos and Mountain Dew. They then continued to become MLG pros.

The salty end.

This is a crack fiction. If you took this story seriously, consider finding immediate help.