1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome to Lake Valor!
    Catch, train, and evolve Pokémon while you explore our community. Make friends, and grow your collection.

    Login or Sign Up

Gamer's Concepts

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by UnstoppableGamer, Feb 5, 2017.

  1. UnstoppableGamer

    UnstoppableGamer Attention Seeker~

    Level 1
    Jan 11, 2017
    Great Ball ★★Poké Ball ★Dome Fossil ★★★Gardevoirite ★★★★
    I decided to make my concept stories all one thread!
    Anyway, this is a concept story. (That's pretty much completely brainstormed...)
    I'm just curious if anyone would like to see more of this~
    Please tell me what you think~

    Chapter One- The Wise, The Strong, The Resourceful

    "Blegh." Aaron gagged as he forced the dirty water down his throat. He removed the remnants from his lips, continuing to trail after the carriage alongside his few allies. They were joined by a handful of knights from the castle. He dressed himself in a green shawl scarf that covered his cuirass. Along with that, he donned brown pants, covered at the bottom by his greaves, and pauldrons on his grey long shirt. Noticeably, he had an odd shade of emerald green for his hair and eyes. He carried a clumsy, metal mace on his right side.

    "Taste bad?" Baldric, his leader and adoptive brother, inquired. He had tan skin, short, dark brown hair and sharp, blood red eyes. However, he wore dark glasses that obscured them, making them appear brown. He clothed himself in a short white shirt, covered by a thick brown vest, brown pants, tall grey boots, and thick cuisses over his thighs. He wore two sheathed swords on his person, one on his left side, and one on his tailbone. "Or wrong pipe?"

    "Bit of both actually..." Aaron sighed. "Wish we had clean water more often..."

    "Of course." Baldric chuckled. "How's your fire magic coming along?"

    "Fine." Aaron informed. "I'm improving." He shifted his gazed around the forest path, noticing a slight rustle, causing him to scowl. "Be on guard."

    "Hmm?" Baldric followed his eyes, noticing the silent shadows. "Good eyes." He complimented, jogging ahead of the carriage.

    "Killio." Aaron slowed down, approaching the muscular, greenish brown Lizardman. He donned dented, gladiator like armor, with numerous scratches marked into it. He had large, faded bandages wrapped around his wrists. He equipped himself with spiked gauntlets, and a large, rusted headsman's axe on his back. "We might have a problem."

    "Problem?" The Lizardman chuckled in a deep, gruff tone. He rammed his fists together, before producing a loud crackling noise from his neck. "The only problem is how dumb Orcs are, thinking they can beat me."

    "You figured it out?" Aaron pondered.

    "Tomoe warned us remember?" Killio sneered. "That's why I came along."

    "Glad you're here, big guy." He chuckled, shooting a glance to the carriage. It was covered by a white tarp, preventing them from seeing inside. "What do you think we're guarding?"

    "Worthless human crap." Killio grunted. "But, if they hired mercenaries to help guard it, instead of just knights..."

    "Something secret." He agreed, catching up to the carriage. He slowly opened lifted the tarp, peering inside.


    Ushaol crept along the forest terrain, stalking the Schwa'vek group as they passed by. He was shorter than most Star'vek, only reaching about 6'5. He also lacked the girth of others his size, coming to about half their mass. He had raven hair pulled back in a tail, hazel eyes, and a mix of tan brown and green skin. He covered himself in a pair of white trousers, and a sleeveless brown fur jacket. Over that, he protected himself with spiked pauldrons, greaves, cuisses, and gauntlets, all a dull grey. He carried a claymore and axe on his back. "They're foolish to enter our territory."

    "Exactly." Xoruk, a Star'vek slightly older than Ushaol, agreed. He had a dark brown skin tone, and a brownish grey hair tone, standing a foot over him. Despite his size, he dressed himself in skull robes, and carried a shaman staff with him. "But, they may have figured it out."

    "I noticed." Ushaol growled, watching the brown haired Schwa'vek speak to his allies in front of the wagon, causing them to prepare their weapons. "We'll deal with them quickly."

    "Of course." Xoruk agreed, signalling their troop to prepare. His followers consisted of Wudgh, a massive, grey, brown haired Star'vek who carried a hammer half his size with ease, Mog, a thin, brown, black haired, female Star'vek who prepared a crossbow alongside Dalthu, a stocky, green, grey haired Star'vek who prepared his greatbow, and Gul, a silver skin and haired female who drew her blade and shield. "The second troop is preparing on the other side. When you're ready, my master."


    Lyra gazed upon her necklace in the musty, wooden cage. The wagon was all wood, with the exception of the metal bars that stood covered by white fabric. She had short blonde hair, aqua blue eyes, and fair skin. She cloaked herself in a brown cloak that reached to her bottom, a black turtleneck, white pants, white armored thigh high boots, a tan vest that parted around her breasts, and a pair of white gloves. Her wrists were locked together by a metal brace with a red stone in the center. She chanted beneath her breath, causing the stone to glow, dispersing the aura around her. Damn... She should've listened to Brother...

    She winced as light shone in from the metal bars, guarding herself from the rays. A young Katoinis man spoke up. "An elf? We're transporting an... Crap!" The man panicked, closing the tarp.


    "We have to get out of here!" Aaron snapped at his allies, causing the knights to halt. "I'm not transporting an elf through greenskin territory!"

    "What!?" Baldric gasped, before a large arrow ripped through the wagon driver's skull. He hastily drew his blade, cloaking it in flames. "Damn it!"

    "Now!?" Aaron grimaced, pulling out his mace. A knight behind him was knocked to the side by a massive orc wielding a hammer. He evaded a bolt from the opposite side, realizing that they were surrounded. Killio let out a bloodcurdling cry, charging the gigantic orc. Aaron evaded another bolt, charging a nearby orc, ramming his mace into its skull. It's head caved in, before it toppled to the side. He ripped a dagger from its corpse, hurling it an archer, nailing it in the forehead. First time for everything! He grinned, quickly ducking. Killio was thrown over him, crashing into the wagon, rending the bars apart.

    "I'm alright!" Killio insisted, standing up, before falling unconscious in a comedic fashion. The elf from inside the wagon, peered out, before running away.

    "Hold it!" Aaron snapped, chasing the elf. He was halted by a thin orc wielding a claymore.

    "The'ret, Schwa'vek!" The orc howled, swinging the claymore at him. Aaron crouched under the swing, before jumping over his following low strike. He planted his foot on the blade, crashing his mace into the orc's face. He reeled back in pain, glancing to the elf. "Ain Sehr'vek?"

    "Out of my way, ugly!" Aaron booted the orc away, rushing into the forest. He hunted the elf through the forest, noticing a few orcs trailing him. He slid around a tree, taking one down with his mace, before launching himself back on track with his momentum. He noticed the elf entering a run down cabin further into the woods. "Got yo-" He gasped, flipping upside down. He felt a sharp pain in his thigh, running his hand along a bolt planted in his leg. He watched the orc from before sprint to the building, while another sat atop him.

    "Schwa'vek! Lob'lit, Blov'gog!" The orc wrapped his grubby fingers around him, sputtering the phrase at him.

    "I'm not gonna... die... Not... yet." Aaron growled, stealing a dagger from the orc, jabbing him in the neck repeatedly. He fell over, gargling his own blood. Aaron wiped the dagger off, and grabbed the bolt in his leg. He still had a lot to do! A mission to accomplish! He angled the dagger, digging into his own flesh to remove it. He choked in pain, ripping apart his own flesh.


    "Herau'no komm'vit, Sehr'vek!" The Barbinis commanded, searching for Lyra. The cabin seemed abandoned, with the exception of still burning lanterns. She hid in a back room of the run down home, fumbling to remove her restraints. She noticed wooden beams along the roof, a gap large enough for her to fit between. She searched the room, finding an old desk, and stepped onto it. She hopped onto the beams, barely pulling herself up. She shifted her weight to avoid making a sound, exiting the room as the Barbinis entered. "Sehr'vek?"

    "Got you!" The Katoinis from before shouted, causing her to skip. A large boom came from the back room, before the Barbinis rolled out of the dust. The Katoinis limped inside, surrounding himself in flames, a burn mark on his thigh, and waved his mace, at the Barbinis. A twisted smile overtook his face. "You look surprised. I cauterized my own wound! And now you pissed me off! I'm going to gut you! You and all your kind!"

    "Storr'amyy Schwa'vek." The Barbinis insulted, preparing his axe. They charged each other, evading each other's swings. She slowly crept along the beams, holding on as the Katoinis was thrown into a barrel, spilling oil everywhere.

    "Geez..." He groaned, instantly dispersing his flames. He looked at the many other barrels beside him. "Don't wanna blow myself up..." He mumbled, before he shifted his vision up to her, noticing her on the beams. "No you don't! Get down!"

    "Wa'kiye?" The Barbinis faced her as well, before striking the beam with his axe. She stumbled along, attempting to reach a window, before knocking over a lantern hung on the beam, dropping it into the oil. A large boom echoed as she was launched through the window, landing on the dirt and grass, feeling the wind get knocked out of her. She rolled around, trying to regain her breath.


    "Ow..." Aaron groaned, picking himself up. He glanced around, realizing that the cabin was on fire. The wood crackled as the flames quickly spread, causing the beams to collapse overhead, blocking the front entrance. He altered his focus to the orc in the room with him, who was looking for a way out. "Why don't we break down the wall?"

    "Hm?" The orc observed the rotted wall, before preparing his axe. He chopped down on the old wood, making a slight hole.

    "Let me help." Aaron coughed on the smoke in the air, ramming his mace into the wall as well. The sound of splintering wood repeated itself, until they created a sizable dent. "Alright! On three, we knock the wood down! One. Two. Three!" He commanded, tackling the wall with the orc, crashing outside. A small squeaking noise rang out as they landed.

    "Dank'arya..." The orc spoke. "Schwa'vek... Thanks... Human... "

    "I was only saving myself." Aaron scoffed, looking under him. They landed on the elf from before, knocking the wind out of her. She whimpered in pain as Baldric and Brutus approached them. "Hah... Got you..."

    "Okay!? What'd I miss?" Brutus gawked. He was a large man with a scar over his left eye, blinding it. He donned old, tattered armor, possibly from a castle, and stained, tan trousers. His chest was bear, covered in scars. He had a shaved head, and steel eyes. "I was just checkin in on the others, and here you are, escaping from a fire with an orc! You're insane, y'know that?"

    "I caught the elf." Aaron chuckled, patting the squashed girl on the back. "And a tuskface too, I guess..."

    "You." Baldric pointed to the orc. "Name."

    "Ushaol." He mumbled, sitting up. "The elf is mine."

    "I can't let you have her." Baldric shook his head. "We were hired to transport her to the capital and I don't mess up a job. No matter what it entails..."

    "Anyway, let's get a move on." Brutus commented, picking up the girl. She dangled completely limp, most likely unconscious from shock.

    "I'm coming with you." Ushaol asserted, picking himself up. "I can't mess up a job either."

    "Hmm..." Baldric paused. "Alright. Brutus watch the orc. Aaron, carry the elf."

    "Can do." Brutus accepted, handing the girl to Baldric. Baldric carried her to Aaron, passing her to him.

    "...I don't agree with this." Aaron whispered as he took the girl into his arms. "I don't trust that orc."

    "I know." Baldric acknowledged. "But, there's something... off about him. Might be smart to keep an eye on him."

    "Let's just set up camp." Aaron growled, backtracking to their group.

    I put it in spoilers so that I can reach responses faster~
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Dusty

    Dusty Banned

    Sep 18, 2016
    It sounds pretty cool to me and it's refreshing seeing a story concept thought up originally and not based on existing franchises.

    I think it it would be amusing to at some point to see characters struggle with getting long weapons attached to their backs out and ready for use (but don't take that too seriously, it's just kind of a cheeky suggestion for my tastes in humour due to the total impracticality of back-scabbards and their over-use in games and fantasy things, would be amusing to see something like that get poked for fun)

    Overall I like what I read so far.
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. UnstoppableGamer

    UnstoppableGamer Attention Seeker~

    Level 1
    Jan 11, 2017
    Great Ball ★★Poké Ball ★Dome Fossil ★★★Gardevoirite ★★★★
    Oh no! You read my mind! XD
    Seems we have a similar sense of humor~
  4. UnstoppableGamer

    UnstoppableGamer Attention Seeker~

    Level 1
    Jan 11, 2017
    Great Ball ★★Poké Ball ★Dome Fossil ★★★Gardevoirite ★★★★
    Concept- Sins of Zaidi: No More Gods
    I might make four more concepts for this story. (Basically introducing either the main characters or sub characters)

    Chapter One- A Blank Slate

    "Is this the one?" A voice questioned. It sounded as if it belonged to a gruff, aged man.

    "Yes." Another voice confirmed. This one felt as if it belonged to an elderly man. "This is the one. This is the Lost One."

    "Hello, young one." A gentle, elderly woman's voice rang out. "We need you to wake up. For you are the Radiant One."

    "Yes, wake up child." An arrogant sounding man's voice repeated. "Or should I say, Anguished One."

    "It is your destiny, Pertinacious One." A younger sounding woman stated. "First you search for the Seeress. She shall show you the proper way."

    "Nay." The gruff voice argued. "Tempestuous One, you must find the Veteran. He will show you the strength to achieve victory."

    "You're all fools." The arrogant man insulted. "Anguished One, find the Atoner. He shall share a similar pain as you."

    "Might I interject?" The elderly woman began. "Radiant One, you'll require the aid of the Confidant. He will shoulder your burden. As an ally. As a friend."

    "But first, a name." The elderly man interrupted. "Not the Lost One, the Tempestuous One, the Pertinacious One, Anguished One, nor the Radiant One. A proper name."

    "I vote for Fearsome. A powerful name worthy of the Tempestuous One."

    "I feel that Adamant is superior. An unyielding name for the Pertinacious One."

    "I believe she means the Anguished One shall be known as Agony. The label of all suffering."

    "I opt for Hope, Radiant One. The bringer of ambition and desire."

    "Enough." The elderly man snapped. "He shall be called Blade. A fearsome blade, adamant through his agony, bringing hope to all."

    "A fine name."

    "I see none greater."

    "...I accept."


    "Now, Blade." The elderly man shifted. "Wake up. Wake up, and create your legend."


    Blade opened his eyes, noticing nothing but a white room. He shifted to stare at himself, his reflection in glass. He had young, fair skin, raven black hair, and mesmerizing purple eyes. Suddenly, the glass began to part, allowing him to move. He crawled out of his coffin like confines, standing alone in the empty, white room.

    "Good, you're up!" A woman's voice echoed through the room. "There's no time to explain! Grab the clothes from your pod, and get moving!"

    At that moment, a small compartment poked out of the pod. Folded clothing rested inside of it. He realized that he was nude, prompting him to quickly get dressed. His outfit consisted of a grey turtleneck, light grey pants, black boots, and matching black gloves.

    "If you don't like it, you can get new clothes later." The woman panicked. "My name is Dr. Vale. Can you summon your-" She was cut off at the sound of an explosion, causing the room to quake. "Damn! The door's unlocked! Go!"

    He carefully surveyed the room, pausing a part of the wall separated, revealing a path. He slowly paced through the hallway. It was different from the room, made from a dull metal, rather than the pure white.

    "There's a boat waiting for you at the end of the path, just follow the blue-" She was cut off at the sound of another explosion, followed by harsh gunfire.

    "Dr. Vale?" Blade checked on Dr. Vale. The silence was his answer. He continued down the path, following a small trail of blue lights along the ground. He made his way to a window, noticing a man with a lab coat inside.

    "H-hey, kid!" He called out to him, running to the window. "Help me get this door open!" He commanded as a large mech entered his lab. It slowly raised its arm at the man. "W-wait, no! H-help!" He cried as the mech fired a volley of fast bullets, tearing him apart and painting the window red.

    Blade gasped and quickly ran down the path. At a small room intersection, an armored woman grabbed him by the wrist. She held him firmly as he attempted to squirm free.

    "I found one." She spoke through a radio. "I'll return as-" A beast, canine like, pounced on her, dragging her away. She kicked it off of her, only to be attacked two more, tearing into her armor. She immediately fell limp, allowing the beasts to devour her. They appeared to have natural armor plating, with large, surprisingly white, tusks protruding from their jaws. Blade noticed the blue path next to him and entered, locking the door behind him.

    "Phew..." He sighed, wandering down the hallway. He paused at a large metal door. A single camera stood beside it, watching him carefully. "Um...?"

    "CLEARANCE GRANTED." The camera spoke in a harsh monotone. "PLAYING MESSAGE."

    "Hello, Blade." Dr. Vale's voice spoke, calmly, gently. "The boat is auto piloting. It should take you to Frell. Farewell."

    "PRE RECORDED MESSAGE ENDS." The machine informed, opening the door. "SHUTTING.... DOWN...."

    Blade looked into the door as it slowly opened. Inside, a small white boat rested on the dock. The dock appeared to be made from the innards of a cave, with a small concrete path acting as the only man made alteration. He strolled onto the boat, approaching the cockpit. On the controls, a handwritten sticky note stood in plain view.

    Dear Blade,
    It would seem that I couldn't join you. I had to release some test subjects on our attackers. Hopefully they didn't give you too much trouble. The Confident awaits you in Frell. It's a lovely country, neutral in the Linlean-Alterian Affair. I will always watch over you, Exalted One.
    Your Guardian Angel,

    "Dr. Vale..." Blade frowned. He felt an odd pain in his chest, a throbbing in his eyes. Who was she...? He shook his head, looking on the controls. Another sticky note pointed to a single, large button.

    Press this to start your journey.

    Blade pressed his finger onto the button, causing the boat to stir. He laid on the seat, finding a warm blanket to cover himself, curling up to sleep.


    "Hello Blade." The first voice welcomed.

    "Do you have a name?" Blade inquired.

    "He speaks!" The second man cheered.

    "This is quite surprising..." The young woman agreed.

    "Better than remaining silent. Like some game protagonist." The young man chuckled.

    "Questions are good, Blade." The elderly woman encouraged.

    "You have a point, Lost One..." The first man commented. "Very well. Call me, The Dragon."

    "Dragon?" The second man laughed. "Then call me The Knight."

    "I am The Seeress." The young woman introduced.

    "That's confusing." The young man dismissed. "I guess you can call me The Sage."

    "And that leaves me." The elderly woman acknowledged. "I'm The Angel."

    "Oh!" Blade gasped in recollection. "There was a woman who knew my name. A woman named Dr. Vale. She called herself my Guardian Angel. She sent me to Frell, home of the Confidant."

    "She knew of the Confidant?" Angel questioned. "What else did she say? Did she only refer to you by name?"

    "She called me 'Exalted One.'" He answered.

    "Exalted. Of high ranking, happy, or noble." Sage explained. "Interesting."

    "I can't... see her..." Seeress expressed, grimly. "How is that possible?"

    "Well, isn't that suspicious." Knight growled.

    "We can trust her... I think." Dragon reassured. "She didn't seem hostile, did she?"

    "No." Blade agreed. "Affable would be the word, I think... How do I know that word?"

    "...That's not of importance..." Dragon dismissed. "So, the Confidant resides in Frell?"

    "Yes." Angel answered. "It's a beautiful country-"

    "Neutral in the Linlean-Alterian Affair?" Blade interrupted. "What does that mean?"

    "Story time it seems?" Seeress joked. "Care to help, Sage?"

    "Fine." Sage accepted. "Alteria is an old country founded on the hatred of inhumans. Inhumans are the descendants of the gods from the War of Gods, when a god fled into the mortal realm. His soldiers ended up breeding with the local inhabitants, granting the mortals an unbelievable power. Some gods just hid in the mortal realm, being dubbed Deterraus by the gods above and God's Gifts by man. They were worshipped for a while, until a single inhuman destroyed an entire city. That day marked the Human-Inhuman War. Alteria was formed on the crushed remains of the human empire."

    "Wait." Blade paused. "How did the Inhumans lose? Aren't they descendants of gods?"

    "Humans acquired magic from the gods who opposed those who fled into the mortal realm." Seeress elaborated. "They were also granted the power over weapons know now as the Devil Arms, powerful weapons capable of slaying gods themselves. Not only that, but they were taught to reanimate corpses with magic, dubbing their creations... Soulless... Five heroes used these gifts to their advantage and pushed the inhumans to their knees."

    "They fled to what is know known as Linlea." Sage took over. "A country lead by a man named Decebal Linleal. He is a tyrant who conquers surrounding countries to feed his own. A monster among even inhumans. Eventually, Decebal ran out of surrounding countries to conquer, turning his sights to Alteria. His only other options were Exia to the east, or Frell to the north. Both Frell and Exia are on good terms with the king, regularly trading with him. Nonetheless, this is how things are."

    "You forgot about the Council." Seeress reminded. "The Council is a group of chosen royal families that run Alteria, one of which the Seeress you're searching for hails from."

    "The Veteran can also be found there." Knight added. "But, convincing him to follow you is another thing..."

    "If I'm correct, the Atoner is from Linlea, right Sage?" Angel guessed.

    "Yes." Sage confirmed. "Let's just focus on the Confidant for now."

    "We shall continue this lesson later, Blade." Dragon concluded. "Just rest for now..."

Share This Page