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Original "How My Day Went"

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by DuoM2, Aug 26, 2019.

  1. DuoM2

    Groudon Egg
    (Groudon Egg)
    Level 18
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    So, this is a story I made earlier today. I am by no means a professional writer, I don't really put much time into it at all for that matter, but it is still something I enjoy from time to time. I made this because today was my first day of college, and I wanted to bait my friends (some of which saw me today) into thinking that this actually described my first day of college, only for them to find this super exaggerated joke story about a kid with a huge ego. There are a lot of inside jokes in this story, like as I mentioned before, "my huge ego..." You'll see what I mean in a minute. One of the dumber ones is me using the word "cuckmonkey," just ignore that.

    I also kinda doubt anyone will enjoy the humor here, again most of that is inside jokes. Still felt like sharing though.

    I woke up this Monday morning a bit earlier than I normally would on a weekend, and since my weekend was so busy, the surprise that today was a weekday upset me immensely. I showered, washed my face, ate, took my medicine, and went off to my first day of college. Everything was somewhat normal on that front. However, when I went to leave, a sedan slammed into my car and took off over the curb and through the grass. I was at first startled by this, but once I had a split second to think I knew what the issue was and I knew what I needed to do.

    I took off after them over the same path that they took, easily avoiding cars on the relatively busy road that I had to cross. They were still running away from me, but I was prepared to spend hours on the hunt. I rolled down my window to yell at them. “Pull over, Cuckmonkey! You're done!” This didn’t make them very happy, and I saw a massive arm come out of the front seat and launch an egg at my windshield, which I dodged flawlessly. If they wanted to play that game, then I was happy to return fire. I used my extremely precise motor skills to launch a pencil fast and strong enough into their back tire to pop it, stopping their car quickly and ending the chase.

    “IMPOSSIBLE!” I could hear some yelling coming from the vehicle. I walked up to the tinted window and smashed it into thousands of pieces with one measly punch. As expected, the aggressors were my arch nemeses, Captain Cuckmonkey and Commander Cheddar. Cuckmonkey was the leader, as he was smarter than Cheddar, although they both pale in comparison to my colossal IQ. Captain Cuckmonkey is only five inches tall, and since Commander Cheddar is eight feet tall, he can drive while hunched over. Cheddar reminds me of another one of my friends, but he’s made entirely of cheese and covers most of his body with clothing at all times.

    “Cheddar,” Cuckmonkey said, “give me an in-depth analysis of why we failed!” Cheddar took a few seconds to reply, and when he did, the only word that came out was “ligma.” Cuckmonkey seemed pleased, but I felt a small headache from it. I responded, “whatever you’re trying to do here, your effort is futile. I already understand your plans and I already understand how to stop them.” I had noticed the pieces and bizarre materials in their trunk, and they all could only be used for one thing, and Cuckmonkey caught on to me eyeing them despite being a complete buffoon. He laughed maniacally, thinking he had bested me. “Oh, this? What if I told you…”


    I jumped to the right as a massive punch that came from behind me smashes the concrete beneath me. Sure enough, I saw exactly what I thought I would see. A 50-foot tall egg, supplemented by robotic arms and legs as well as a stupid face that was drawn onto it in sharpie. I could hear that Cuckmonkey was in shock. “WHAT? How did you know that this was a bluff that lead to an ambush?” I didn’t say it, but I found it very obvious, and my IQ began to rise by the millions. Another punch was thrown at me, and I dodged it quickly and easily, and I then jumped on its arm. Its other arm tried to smack me off, and I jumped over it as my gigantic muscles began to rip through my clothes. I was about ready to finish this fight quickly.

    I leapt up and slammed my foot into the egg monster and jumped back off of it, doing a quintuple backflip and striking the landing better than any athlete or gymnast could ever dream of. The force from my foot broke a hole into the egg’s head, and the rest of its body crumbled under the pressure, leaving a massive pool of egg white between me and my enemies, with the two of them having horrified looks on their faces. My usual fans lined themselves up to cheer me on in such an overwhelming way that the police officers couldn’t control them and were forced to join in on the cheering. My Twitter follower count @ Duo__MK rose slightly higher than the tremendous amount that it already was, and I pulled out my epic sword and walked through my victim’s remains to approach the villains.

    As I got closer, I began to taunt them. “Any last words, imbeciles?” They were both quaking in fear, and Commander Cheddar said “pee pee poo poo,” which made me drop my sword and grab my head with both hands due to a massive headache that came on. “Wait a minute,” Captain Cuckmonkey said. “Good work, Commander Cheddar! You found out his only weakness- stupid!” The two of them then began to say the words “gacha” as many times as possible and as quickly as possible in an attempt to stop me. My cheering fans all gasped in unison as I could feel my brain cells decomposing from the stupid. I could only hold my head more and more tightly as they continued.

    I knew that it would take a lot of willpower to grab my sword and land the final blow to Cheddar’s head, or to step on Cuckmonkey. I tried my hardest to, but I couldn’t do it. The thoughts of anime stupid invaded my head way too much for me to be able to function mentally. This was an all-time low of my life. But this ended up reminding me of the friends I made along the way. Pokie instantly came to my head, and then Squigs, since they were the biggest weebs, then followed by Colby. Sceon also watched anime from time to time, Bryan almost always has an anime avatar, and Jigglz was obsessed with the Pokémon anime. KC liked Yu-Gi-Oh, Ulmo liked some anime, and Soup was there too. Although I’m certain anime was the leading cause of their IQs being as comparatively low as it is now next to mine, but it was still enough to clear my mind.

    I grabbed my sword and thrusted it into Cheddar’s chest. He was made of cheese, so he did not die. Instead, he let out a horrific screech that made the two of them stop saying “gacha” so I could cut Cheddar up to pieces and stomp on Cuckmonkey. My crowd begins cheering again as I had saved the day. A small child asked for my autograph, to which I said no, because small children have a very low IQ. There were newscasters watching everything who recorded and aired what I did for everyone to see and the three people who hadn’t heard of me have now seen me. I got in my car and drove off after that, somewhat surprised that my nemeses thought it was a good idea to challenge me again.

    Also, somewhat unrelated, but I've hit 100 posts on here. I know that's not too many but I'd like to thank you all again for being so welcoming towards me. It's crazy to me that it's been almost a month since the event I joined this website for has ended, and I've still been using this website and the Discord actively ever since, so I'm looking forward to my future here. Thank you all for reading!
     
    #1 Aug 26, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
    ChocoChicken, Riddles and RadEmpoleon like this.
  2. Geroniny

    Geroniny The Spacecraft Of Miracle

    Azure
    (Kyogre)
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    Dawn Stone ★★★★Blue Orb ★★★★★Charizardite X ★★★★GS Ball ★★★★★Star Piece ★★★★
    If The First Day Of School Happen Like This, I Can Say This Is Actually Out Of Ordinary. And You Actually Capture It.

    Great Work, I Think The SS Writing Contest Did Help Out On This...I Think.
     
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    DuoM2 likes this.
  3. RadEmpoleon

    RadEmpoleon certified EPIC Gamer™

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    Comet Shard ★★★★Poké Doll ★★
    I don’t think I’ve ever been so confused and so entertained by a story. I love it.
     
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  4. DuoM2

    Groudon Egg
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    Not much to say but I'm glad you both enjoyed it. I don't know if the SS Writing Contest helped here, it may have though since that was my first time writing anything since high school ended for me a few months ago so the quick practice might have helped.
     
  5. RadEmpoleon

    RadEmpoleon certified EPIC Gamer™

    Bondo
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    Comet Shard ★★★★Poké Doll ★★
    Is that actually your twitter account or is it just made up?
     
    #5 Aug 27, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
  6. ChocoChicken

    Krysmus Azelv (lol)
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    Misty's EmblemLegendary Triforce ★★
    10/10 I would believe it
     
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  7. DuoM2

    Groudon Egg
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    Made up.

    Idk why but this message made me feel like mentioning- funny enough I had a guy believe it until they saw the name "Captain Cuckmonkey."
     

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