In which Mag runs for days [the best story ever][[ever]]

if you're allergic to lots of swearing and terrible jokes and high volumes of theft then uh
not gonna be a cup of tea you'll enjoy aye?


[SIZE=12pt]Once upon a time there was a really cool person called Mag that lived in Hoenn because why not. She decided that she didn't like listening to Norman talk shit about normal types and how difficult they are because normal type Pokémon are so boss?? So she decided to leave home angrily and ignored mother because she was so annoying. Gushing over Machoke and stuff like wow??? Pokémon can lift things?? Amazing??[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]On the way out of Littleroot, Mag encountered a middle aged man in shorts! It looked like he was trying to feed animals to a wild dog so she intervened by stealing one of the animals and leaving the other two to like[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Get eaten or something.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Moving along, there was another town really close by, why were they even separate towns?? Might as well be one city or something right?? W/E man anyway, there was some bloke there playing in mud and throwing the lizard at him did nothing so Mag went up instead[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]After stealing medication from this one guy in an apron[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]There was a girl there with a really similar name? Bitch did u steal me name?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]I mean Mag's name[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Anyway, it's worth pointing out that the lizard was actually a ninja so it took 0 time for the imposter's small bird animal to be fried southern style[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag ran away after stealing more items. Some high tech wikipedia thing? Noiceeeee[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Pokeballs too I think I don't really remember this far back into the game lol[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Yeah Pokeballs cause when Mag returned to Littleroot for more free items and then ran back out again, she encountered a worm and put it inside the ball. It was a worm in a ball. How useful can things be? This useful omg[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Worm in a ball[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The worm was also a ninja btw, ninja squad are go but not like naruto ninja squad because they're so fuckin weeb m8[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The ninja squad wrecked like[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Everything and stuff[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Suddenly appeared in Petalburg?? O shit Norman is here Mag gotta run away wait no nvm Norman wants to talk rip everything[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag gets pulled into the gym and braces for another rant about normal types getting punched and stuff but WOW HOLY SHIT AN ANGEL APPEARS[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Aka wally wants to mooch for a Pokémon[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]I wonder which Pokémon he'll get? Omg i have no idea what could it possibly be[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Small melting green baby ofc what else[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]I mean it's annoying and all that Mag ended up with a lizard and a worm in a ball but this kid got the small melting green baby but small melting green babies aren't like[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]AMAZING or anything[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Since Norman was distracted by the radiance of Wally's face and stuff god bless this angel Mag got the chance to do more running away. Pro running away-er y'know[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]There was a dangerous child running on the sand[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]It had a bird with powerful pecking motions but ninja lizard WRECKED IT[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag took note of the old guy living in the vicinity that would no doubt be of no use to her at all at any point during her journey to escape Norman and the law[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]There was a rich boy outside of the forest!!! You know what we do with rich boys? We take everything they own and kick them into a large body of water!!! So Mag did that.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]RIP raccoon dog[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]RIP raccoon dog's owner[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Petalburg woods?? Forest?? Idk that place was gr8 for a while but then Mag realised 'shit I was meant to catch a Pokémon here I'm a fucking asshat'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]And then Mag realised 'shit I was meant to catch a Pokémon in the grass outside of here too I'm a fucking asshat'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]But then a kid showed up and decked her in the face for no fuckin reason?? What a shitbag! It turns out this shitbag kid was called 'Red' and he was talking some shit about only one Pokémon per gym and he was getting really aggressive so Mag was like 'yo shit bro okay calm urself I'll do that thing'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]She then proceeded to RUN AWAY AGAIN because he would probably call the cops. Her name was known and it was known for being linked to items not being in the possession of their rightful owners.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]She encountered a nerd dressed as a pirate harassing a nerd dressed as a scientist and it was very strange, why were there cosplayers in the middle of this heavily treed area? Better intervene by destroying the pirate because ONE PIECE IS FUCKING LAME[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The pirate got very angry and sad and ran away and the scientist turned out to be an actual scientist? Can you imagine? And he gave Mag a HIGH TECH ITEM FOR ENSLAVING WILD ANIMALS[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Perfect amirite?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Except Mag can't catch any goddamn wild animals because that Red kid was being a doofus and holy shit he's right there run away Mag or the police might show up!!![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]After beating up more children playing with insects, Mag encountered another individual with a great deal of valuable paper. This was after raiding a berry shop and stealing their food ofc, gotta stay stocked for the journey and all that. The individual with a great deal of valuable paper was an individual with a great deal of valuable paper for about like, 5 minutes after coming face to face with the GREATEST THIEF IN HOENN[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Also note the body of water near her? Yeah she in there now[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Ran into Rustboro so fast, stripped the granny outside of her plant watering equipment first ofc, and goddamn shit it's the imposter again.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'wtf have u seen how big this place is thooooo?'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'wtf stop talking to me u slut'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'wtf i'm not a slut??? Since when???'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'wtf i'm leaving'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Ran out of Rustboro for a moment again cause somehow Mag was aware of an item that could be acquired with ease on the beach above!! The item was taken and then more children were WRECKED before ROXANNE was ALSO wrecked in the FACE[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Her nose creature is... Nose longer with us...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Also the rock with arm died but we all saw that coming, the hell can a rock with arms do against a ninja lizard and a ninja butterfly? Oh yeah the worm in a ball because a ninja butterfly at some point, it was a really quick turn of events.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag hung around the area for a while cause she had a feeling something might happen after the gym battle and hey what would you know the Red kid showed up and wanted to FITE[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]So a FITE ensued[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]And Mag was kind of sort of pulverised which is a shame but w/e we can deal with this one loss right?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]If only she knew[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag ran away again because damn Mag is so fast sonic get outta here bruv[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]That scientist who wasn't actually a nerd dressed as a scientist but an ACTUAL scientist was like 'bro you don't even know rn'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'ur right i don't even know rn wtf is wrong'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'that one piece character stole more of my shit, you don't even know'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]'well i do know you just fuckin said u nerd'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Mag did not need to hear more from the scientist! If beating one piece characters was a possibility it was happening!![/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]She raced through the grass and encountered that one old man from that one place. You know, the old man that would have no involvement with Mag at all in the future? That one[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]He had lost his bird apparently and that feel is not a gr9 feel, so mag decided that it was time to be nice for once[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Only once though, no more nice favours from here on out unless there was a hefty reward to be had.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The one piece character was thoroughly beaten up and the bird was taken back with force! He ran away and Mag was like 'hmm... He runs away like me... Maybe i should employ him at a later date cause i'm fo sho that i'll run into him again somewhere likeeeee a museum maybe?? Fo sho'[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Gave the bird back to the old man and he was so happy bless his old man chest organ[/SIZE]