Fanfiction Katy Snaps (and turns all of Paldea into Cake)

(Like Purple Lightning, this is a re-post from my AO3 account OrnaPulse)

Katy is one of the kindest and most patient souls in Paldea. But after one too many demands are asked of her, she reminds everyone that even the sweetest bugs can bite.

Or: They don't call her a master baker for nothing. And Arceus was the only thing holding her from wielding her true power.


KATY

It is 5 pm in Paldea and the sun had yet to set on the horizon. People all across the religion were still doing their daily routines with still an hour left of sun to do whatever tasks they have.

Yet, in Cortondo, one major place was deviating a lot from its usual schedule. Patisserie Soapberry, one of the key attractions in the olive city, was already closed four hours earlier than its usual closing time. A little Tarountula sign stood in front of the empty pastry shelves with the words ‘Sorry! We’re closed. Please come back tomorrow!’ for all potential customers to see. That was odd in of itself, as the bakery never closed even if the owner was facing challengers at the gym. What was even odder was that the lights in the bakery were still on, and the delicious smell of freshly baked goods wafted from the inside. ‘What was the Sugarbug planning?’ the locals wondered, for they had seen neither hide nor hair of the usually sociable owner and gym leader.

Inside the Pastisserie was an organized bit of chaos. The kitchen was abuzz with action from Pokémon all over, wearing little aprons and hairnets fitting for the occasion. A Heracross was hauling sacks of flour and sugar into the kitchen, where a Nymble and a Lokix duo would take over in cutting them open and measuring the correct amounts of ingredients. A Foretress was manning the mixers, checking the batter inside to see if they were properly mixed and alerting the Ursarang and Teddiursa when they were ready to be placed in the oven. A trio of Vivillon were sorting out some small packets and bottles and setting them on the countertop, aided by Spidos and Tarountula as they kneaded and prepared some fondant and modeling chocolate.

Katy, the owner of both the Pokémon and the bakery, was busy on her own feet too, cutting and shaping the cakes once they’ve been cooled down and spreading frosting over the baked goods. It was a weird and fevered dance so unlike her usual slow and even playful way of baking. Oddly, they looked nothing like the typical cakes one would buy for birthdays or parties, looking like weird, mishappen blobs for the most part.

Her Rotom Phone rang a little tune, alerting her of it before it flew in front of her to display some pictures it took. Katy smiled, equal parts soft and naughty at what the phone displayed. “Very good dear! Why don’t you sit on your little perch, for now, I’ll certainly need my references.” The phone buzzed in acknowledgment before sitting on its dedicated bug-designed stand.

Onscreen were highly detailed photos of all kinds of things unrelated to baking. School supplies, non-edible Pokémon, and even people. Katy looked at all those photos on display before picking one and laughing merrily. “Oh, La Primera wants me to shut down my bakery to focus on challengers?” Her smile turned a little sharper at that. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to show her the power of pastries!”

Her Pokémon all momentarily stopped what they were doing as they exchanged worried and wary glances at each other. This was so out of character to their usually kind trainer, who would usually back down with a smile that hid so much pain behind it, But they knew how much Patisserie Soapberry meant to her and the city of Cortondo. This was something she wouldn’t back down on. No bug, Tera or otherwise, was foolish enough to step in her way at that.

They just hoped that, by helping Katy in this insane ‘revenge’ plan, they would be safe from the inevitable fallout.

 

HASSEL AND BRASSIUS

It was a calm and peaceful day in Artazon. The sun had just begun to rise, bathing the grassy town in its light. The people of the town were just starting to wake up, and this was hardly an exception. Inside a house close to the Artazon Gym Building, Hassel hummed as he brewed a pot of coffee. Pouring it into two mugs, he walked out of the kitchen to meet Brassius, who looked lethargic and tired despite him shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Here you go Brassie,” Hassel gave his husband a mug before taking his own seat at the table. Brassius murmured a thank you, before chugging the entire thing down. The dragon man chuckled before preparing his own mug with some sugar and creamer. The two of them sat in comfortable silence together, the only sounds coming from outside, where their Pokémon were having their own breakfast away from the two lovers. They soaked in each other's presence, enjoying the calm the early mornings provided them before they were inevitably whisked away by their schedules. Although, speaking of their schedules…

“Have you decided what you’re going to say to La Primera?” Brassius asked, breaking the comfortable silence and the peace it brought with it.

Hassle sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “No. I don’t know what to say. I love being an Elite Four member, but I also love teaching students at the academy.” He looked forlorn. “Geeta is asking us of an impossible task here.”

That was the ultimatum given to all the league members who held another job outside of being a league member. Drop the job or lose your position. Brassius reached out and squeezed Hassel’s hand. He knew how much the other loved both of his jobs, and if Geeta had been more serious when putting that pressure on him, he wasn't sure if he’d be able to give up being an artist or a gym leader. “Whatever it is, I support you all the way Hass.”

Happy tears began to well up in Hassel’s eyes. “Thank you, dear,” He choked them down. No need to cry at the breakfast table.

Things seemed to go back to normal after that. As they got dressed and prepared to head to wherever their jobs took them, they stopped in their shared office space. They had two separate desks each, one for creating art and one for dealing with paperwork. On both of the paperwork desks, there were piles of paper, part of the pile being league-related matters and the other of students' assignments. Yet as they went to grab the papers, something literally felt very off.

“What in dragon’s name?” Hassel’s hand recoiled. Paper was not meant to be soft and squishy, and it most certainly wouldn’t leave an indent on where his hand touched it. He sniffed his hand curiously. “It smells… sweet?” He wasn’t sure exactly what he was smelling, but it definitely smelled of sugar.

Brassius leaned in, altered by his husband’s surprise. He frowned, before taking a newly bought and never-used crafting knife from the other table. Carefully, he nicked the edge of the paper. Tears weren’t too uncommon, considering the age of some of the students and the type of Pokémon Hassel trained. But instead of tearing, the ‘paper’ sunk in and sliced instead. Sharing a glance with each other, Brassius continued to cut a little triangle piece of the stack. As he pulled out the slice, it became apparent to what it was.

“Avant-garde!” Instead of paper, the stack was made of a vanilla cake with green and blue cream in between the layers. The ‘paper’ was made of some kind of fondant, with bits of edible paper sticking out for a more realistic effect. But that wasn't even the most impressive part. The actual top layer was a near-perfect replica of a student's painting, complete with a signature and a little mark from Hassel’s pen where his pen bleed through. The back. Had it not been for his discerning artist's eye, he might not have spotted the minute differences that showed it was a copy. “Whoever did this is a true artist!” He exclaimed. It was a sculpture of food, not a medium he would usually work with, but one he can appreciate all the same. After all, mimicry, especially that of a realistic yet fine object such as a stack of paper was hard to achieve.

Behind him, Hassel looked equal parts amazed and concerned. “Remarkable.” He breathed out. “But… how did it get here? And where are the actual papers? I promised the students that I would give their papers back today.”

That snapped Brassius from his artist admiration. He didn’t do it, and Hassel wouldn’t do such an obscure prank just to get for him. Not to mention that classes were going to start in an hour, including art class. Oh no…

 

NEMONA

It was bright and early in Mesagoza City. Normally, Paldea’s biggest city would be bustling with people, be it locals going about their daily lives, students rushing their way to the school, or tourists wanting to look around the historic and magnificent city.

Running down the stairs two or three steps at a time, and past her schoolmates going UP the stairs was Paldea’s newest Champion, Nemona. See, the young champion didn’t have any classes for the day; her schedule had a free day in the middle of the school week - likely to help give her time to do her champion duties. With Nemona being Nemona, she was going to make the most of this free time.

Greeting the familiar faces she passed, she soon found herself in Mesagoza’s East Gate. A tall towering gate that kept the walled city of Mesagoza from the rest of Paldea. As she approached she saw the gate’s guard, welcoming what seemed to be foreigners from the neighboring Kalos into the city. “Hola, Mr. Pierro!”

The guard turned to her, seemingly done with the visitors. “Hello! Champion Nemona!” He greeted her. “Off to the South Province?”

“Yes!” Came the immediate reply.

The guard chuckled as he commanded his Pokémon - a pair of Hariyamas - to open the heavy gates enough to let the girl through. “Well, have fun miss!”

“Thank you! Nemona waved as she ran off, entering the red sandy dunes of the area. She’d been wanting to get people to battle her again, but of course, everyone was scared of competing against the youngest Champion of Paldea, even when she held back by loads! So in order to remedy that, she decided to try and catch a new Pokémon to help even the odds with its inexperience. It might grow to be something they’d fear to fight against, but for the meantime, it’d be the perfect way for her to get more battles.

She ran past many a Pokémon as she navigated the weird natural maze of the area. No offense to any of them, she’d probably try and catch them another day, but there were so many other options she wanted to go and find. And soon she found what she was looking for.

Spotting a small but bright mixed flame of red and blue, Nemona dived behind a rock to keep it from spotting her. In the corner where a spire met with the great mountain, was a Charcadet. It (for she didn’t know its gender) was blissfully unaware of the human behind it, sitting crossed-legged in a sort of meditative pose. She didn’t know they meditated, that was something to possibly bring up to Mr. Jacq when she came back from her hunt. But for now, it was time to catch it.

She palmed a Pokéball from her bag in her brace-wearing hand. It was weird that they showed up on her desk that morning, but shrugged it off. La Primera knew her rather embarrassing track record of catching Pokémon, maybe she dropped off some to help her get better with her throws. Sure they felt and smelled a bit off, but she wasn’t going to waste a gift from the Top Champion herself! With all her might, she threw the Pokéball at her target… and missed it by a yard.

She swore as she ducked behind the rock, knowing that the Charcadet would be on high alert now. The surprised cry from the little fire type confirmed that all too well. That's what she got for trying out the ‘ball first’ catching method. She prepared to hear it run, either towards her to challenge her to battle or away from her to flee. Instead, she heard none of that. In fact, it sounded a bit more like… Eating?

She peered out of the rock to check. The Charcadet was, in fact, eating. But instead of a berry or anything like that, it appeared to be eating the Pokéball she threw at it! In fact, it looked like it was enjoying its impromptu meal, making happy little noises as it munched and its head flame flickering brightly with every bite.

Nemona looked at the Pokéball in wonder. Either La Primea had developed a Pokéball that wild Pokémon could eat so it didn’t go to waste, or Charcadets could actually eat the metal that made up a Pokéball. What a fascinating discovery! She can’t wait to tell Mr. Jacq about it!

 

KOFU

Of all the cities in Paldea, Cascaraffa has the most unique flavor of them all. Its odd location near the desert and awe-inspiring architecture of a tiered man-made waterfall created an interesting dichotomy of land and sear. Combined with the bustling friendly nature of its people and the many delicious restaurants in the city made it truly one of a kind.

Inside one of those restaurants was a man who helped give Cascaraffa its warm and inviting reputation. Kofu - the master chef, bidder, and water-type gym leader - was busy inside the kitchen of Kofu’s Louge; his very own restaurant. Even though he was the owner of the place, that didn't stop the big man himself from getting into the nitty-gritty of all things, chopping, cooking, and seasoning things to taste. He even greeted and chatted with his customers whenever he had the time.

This dilemma that La Primera had put on all of them, why it was bothering him like nothing else. He loved his many jobs. He couldn’t imagine giving any of them up. He might spend more than half of his time at his restaurant, but it wasn’t like he was neglecting his gym leader duties! He loved meeting challengers and serving them a fresh battle with his water types. Even though he wasn’t allowed to go all out, he didn't mind. Win or lose, he loved it all the same. How was a man to choose?

As he mulled this over, he expertly prepared his signature sushi dish. Filleting, rolling, and slicing everything to perfection. It was the reason Kofu’s Lounge was one of the most popular restaurants in Paldea, despite it only having one branch. In no time at all he had everything complete.

Except for a Veluza Fillet.

“Hugo?” He called for his aide. The young man was not only a gym trainer but also an apprentice in the kitchen. “Can you get me some more Veluza Fillets? We seemed to have run out.” He tipped over the container as if another fillet would manifest because he wasn’t looking closely.

“On it Master Kofu!” The young man said, wiping his hands and disappearing behind a door.

After a silent minute, Hugo‘s face peered back out of the door. “Master Kofu? You might want to see this.”

“Oh? Whatever could it be?” Still, he set the dish aside and followed his aide in. Hugo knew how to gather ingredients so what was the problem?

The room was full of pots and tanks. Anything the restaurant needed live and fresh was kept in here. It has your typical berry bushes and spices but it also had a lot of Pokémon who had edible parts that can shed. One of which was a massive Veluza who was quite content to shed her skin every so often for the restaurant's purposes.

Only she wasn’t so content now. She looked oddly bloated, fatter than she was the day before, and far fatter than she would allow herself to be before she ‘Fillet Away’ed her meat. Not only that, but it seemed she had something preventing her from doing so.

“Come here girl,” Kofu called, once he got on the steps to reach the tank opening. “Let's see what you have- oh!”

The Veluza was all too eager to get to Kofu, snugging into the man’s arms and giving him the best pleading look a fist can do. Now that she was near, he could feel whatever was bothering her. It was… plastic? With something soft inside? With gentle hands, he carefully peeled the plastic away… and guffawed at what he uncovered.

Looking so much like a real Veluza’s skin… was cake! The details were all there, right down to the individual scales and markings. Had it not been for its texture, and a small peeled section revealing a pink strawberry cake, he would have never guessed it wasn’t anything but Veluza! It wasn’t even soggy from the water in the slightest!

Soon the cake came off the Veluza, almost like a vest the fish Pokémon was wearing. It even had a plastic barrier protecting it from touching the fish’s skin. As soon as he peeled it off the fish, the Veluza quickly used Fillet Away and swam to the other side of the tank: miffed but otherwise unharmed from the experience.

“Sir?” Hugo asked after scooping the actual Veluza fillets from the water. Kofu was still laughing at his realization.

“There’s something mighty interesting going on,” Kofu said, once his laughter died down somewhat. “But enough o’ that! We got customers to feed! And once we’re done, we can feast on this cake!”

 

IONO AND TULIP

"Ladies aaand gentlemens! It’s time for the Iono Zone!" A familiar hyper-energized intro blasted out into the screens. In the middle of the frame, bathed in bright pink and blue lights that matched her hair and subtly bounced all the while was a face known to pretty much anyone who’d ever even glanced at the YouTooz streaming site. "Hey, hey, heyyy! Your eyeballs are MINE—caught in my Electroweb! Whosawhatsit? Iono!” She struck a pose, then waved to the camera. “’Ello, ’ello, hola! Ciao and bonjour!"

High in the Levincia City gym, surrounded by props and screens paid for and maintained by her gym money, she was in her element. She grinned, doing a cute little twirl that made the chat go wild. “Today, we’ve got a super special guest joining us! A soft drumroll sound can be heard in the background, rising to help hype up the reveal. “The star of Paldea (second only to me of course), the bewitching beautician, and a long-time viewer and guest of the show, everyone give it up foooooooor… TULIP!” A ‘yay’ sound effect played as he jumped and waved to her left.

Entering from stage left was, exactly as Iono had described previously, Tulip, the psychic gym leader of Alfornada. She walked in with all the poise and grace fitting for a model of her fame and stature. Once she was standing next to Iono, she waved to the camera. “Hello Iono Zone, thank you for having me.” The chat suddenly filled with simps of all kinds, for both gym leaders. The moderators seemed to be working overtime to keep the chat in one piece.

“Thanks for stopping by!” Iono cheered as if they hadn’t planned this specific live stream for over a month. Lining up their busy schedules - gym battles and celebrity appearances alike - was hard enough to do on a normal period, let alone when their boss was trying to make big changes to everyone’s schedules. Not that any of the viewers know that. “And we’re here to talk aaaallll about Bea-U-ty!”

“Indeed,” Tulip nodded gracefully. “The seasons have changed and so have the beauty trends. And today, I’m ready to show you all the latest looks and styles that will have you stealing the spotlight from even your Pokémon in a contest.” Paldea didn’t have a contest scene yet, but it was popular enough for her to make that reference.

“So welcome to another episode ooooooooff…” Iono jumped up and posed, as Tulip did her own subtle but enchanting pose. “Makeovers with Tulip and Iono!” A cheering fanfare jingle played that some fans were familiar with. With that, the two sat down on the designated beanbags set aside for them: big and yellow for Iono, and firm and fuchsia for Tulip. Tulip sat down gracefully, while Iono jumped back first into the chair, which would prove to be her ultimate mistake.

“WAAAUUGH!!!” Instead of sinking into her well-loved favorite bean bag the way she’s done many times before, she instead went ‘SPLAT” as her seat quite literally crumbled beneath her. A faux and realistic bean bag may trick the eye into thinking its the real thing, but it definitely wouldn’t hold up in supporting a human’s weight. Despite her small size, Iono crushed the false seat, giving way for molded chocolate, pumpkin spice cake, and various sticks for support to reveal themselves and splat all over the studio’s shiny floor.

“Iono!” Tulip exclaimed, her calm and untouchable facade breaking for one of the first times most people have seen. She was also using her psychic powers to stop the cake splatterings from reacher her opulence, another rare and unusual sight for the Alfornada native. Suspicious and already using her psychic powers, she grabbed a part of her own beanbag and pulled. Even though hers was much firmer than Iono’s it should have still pulled a little. Instead, a small chunk of the seat pulled out, revealing some chocolate-marbled cake. She took her time in sitting down, adjusting her dress beforehand, so she didn't fall into the same trap that befell her fellow influencer and gym leader. She paled at that realization.

Iono for her part was furious. Here she was, live to millions of fans around the world, eating metaphorical crap outside of her own terms. Her best jacket, which she’d saved for this exact occasion was ruined, there was pumpkin spice cake in her hair (a waste of perfectly good cake!) and her studio was a verifiable mess. Normally, she’d be able to bounce off of this, play it off like one of her Pokémon or Staff members decided to play a prank on her or joke that she’d actually invited Tulip to have a food fight with her. But the ruining of the perfect day, combined with the stress La Primera had set upon all working gym leaders was the last straw.

Today seemed to be a stream of many rare events. In a way no viewer had ever seen since her early days of streaming when someone swept her whole team with cheap cheating tactics, she screamed a primal scream of hurt and fury.

 

LARRY

Larry stumbled into the Treasure Eatery, more panicked and tired than he normally would. This whole day had been a nightmare. Someone had attacked the Paldean Pokémon League with cake. Every single league-associated building seemed to have gotten a hit and scarring, traumatizing, and humiliating anyone caught in its sweet, molded grasp.

But the Treasure Eatery, the Treasure Eatery was a safe place. It was his safe place. Whenever he got overwhelmed with his incredibly packed double schedule, or whenever he needed to get away from his awful boss, or when he just didn't feel like making a meal for himself that night, he could always rely on the eatery to be there for him. The eatery and his regular meal of all the onigiri he could stuff into his stomach. It was one of the few things he could trust even in his jaded middle age.

Sure, it may be considered league associated, considering this was also where the Medali battle court was held and that was where he conducted his gym battles, but it had something the other locations did not: food. Aside from being gym assistants, everyone here was a certified food professional. Restaurants were notorious for not allowing any foreign food aside from what they served and cook with through their doors and the eatery was no exception. They’d be able to spot a crumb of the cake before it ever made it past the doorway and kick it out for attempting to sully the good name of its food.

“Welcome back, Larry!” The chef greeted him with a smile as he took his regular seat. “Here for your usual right? It’s already cooking in the back. I’ll go get it for you,” She said before heading to the kitchen before he even had a chance to nod. Not that he needed to anyways. He was married to his work, but if he had to marry another person it would be this chef. Kind, to the point, and could make the best damn onigiri in the world.

She soon came back with god’s food in her hands, still steaming from the heat it came from. “Here you go, Larry! Enjoy!” She served him nice and simple, just as he liked it. A faint soft smile graced his face, finally some reprieve from the horrors of the day. He took a large bite from the first onigiri… and immediately spat it back out.

Choking and spitting, he wasn't greeted by the lovely umami flavor he’d grown to love, instead, an overload of sweetness and many terrible wrong textures flooded his mouth. He looked at the spittle he’d unceremoniously spat back out with daunting horror. The inside was that of a funfetti cake with its colorful sprinkles almost laughing at him for not getting his beloved food. The rice crispies that covered it splattered away from the crash site and whatever faux seaweed was used melted away on the hardwood floor. In desperation, he grabbed the other onigiri in his order and split them open in his hands. More disgusting funfetti cake disguised as his beloved riceballs.

He looked up in betrayal at his maybe-wife only to see the same shock and confusion on her face as well. Somehow, the faux riceballs had escaped her watchful eye as well.

And that was when he knew Paldea was doomed and heading in for an inevitable apocalypse.

 

RIKA AND POPPY


Soaring high in the sky of Paldea, A Squa-CAB-illy (or just a Squackabilly cab for those who were lame like that) flew over the dusty eastern area of the region. But this was no ordinary cab, as the team of green Squakabillys was driving two very important individuals to their destination.

Peering carefully outside the window was Poppy of the Elite Four. “Wow!” She breathed in, taking in the sights. She may have rode on the flying cabs many times in the past, but she was still always in awe every time she rode one.

Sitting beside her was her co-worker Rika. The woman had an arm around the small child, keeping her from leaning too much in the cab and taking an accidental tumble out of it.

Not that Rika minded too much. Picking up Poppy from her school and flying with her to the League Building was always one of the highlights of her day. She loved spending time with the little prodigy and didn’t mind slotting into the big sister/cool aunt role that the girl had put her in.

But today, there was something more to her usual fetching. This was also a reprieve from the nonsense that had been happening all day.

As the league receptionist (alongside Larry, they shared that duty together) Rika was one of the first to hear about the cake-mageddon (name pending hr approval). While she did find it pretty funny at first, it did get a bit worrying. Especially after Larry came stumbling into the building some time after lunch looking like a man who escaped out of a Dondozo’s mouth. Come to find out, he’d been attacked by the cakes too.

So yeah, hilarious but worrying.

But Rika’s been lucky so far. Nothing she needed, loved, or treasured had been replaced with cake yet, so she seemed to be in the clear.

The cab began to lower as the league building came into view. As Rika’s thoughts drifted to the paperwork she had to tackle, Poppy suddenly spoke up.

“Look Rika! A Clodsire!”

She frowned, snapping out of her thoughts and looking out. True to what Poppy said, there was a Clodsire, just beside the currently empty Pokecenter. But it wasn’t just any old Clodsire, it was a shiny Clodsire. A beautiful blue creature shimmering ever so slightly in the sun’s rays.

As excited as Rika was to see such a specimen, she couldn’t help but notice the oddity in it. “But, why is there a Clodsire here?” The Pokémon League was a long ways away from the swamp that they normally lived in. Someone must have brought it here, but she couldn’t see anyone around except for those in the cabbie.

“I’m going to say ‘Hi’ to him!” Poppy announced, hopping out of the cabbie and beelining for the Clodsire.

“Wait, Poppy! He might not be friendly!” Poppy was used to hugging her Clodsire, but he knew to keep his toxins low and was used to the young girl. Who knew how this Clodsire took to strangers coming in and approaching it.

Rika tried to run after her charge, but nearly tripped on her way out of the cab. Even then, Poppy was much faster than she looked given her size.

Strangely, the Clodsire didn’t seem to react as the child charged at it, completely unbothered by Poppy yelling her greeting to it, and perfectly content to stay still even as the child pounced on the mudfish to give it a hug.

‘SPLAT’

Rika looked on in shock as the Clodsire got squished under Poppy’s weight. It didnt cry out, only fold in ways that should not be possible for a creature of that size. Bits of the Clodsire flew everywhere, coating the Pokecenter counter in its gore.

Poppy gasped loudly, turning back to Rika with stars in her eyes. “RIKA! IT’S CAKE!” She squealed excitedly. She grabbed a fistful of the brownish-blue pieces that made its back and shoved it in her mouth. “ICHS BUUBERRIE CHOCLATE!!!” She yelled through the cake in her mouth. She turned back to the once-Clodsire and began shovelling as much cake into her mouth as she could fit in it.

Rika stared at the scene, equal parts dumbfounded and horrified. The Clodsire looked so real. She didn’t know cake could look so realistic. But at the same time it looked so realistic that it was traumatising. Seeing Poppy, the sweet little Poppy that she considered her younger sister, attack and eat the hyper realistic Clodsire with the ferociousness of a hungry Veluza school was like something out of a horror movie. She knew it was cake, her declaration and the inside did look the part, but she couldn’t shake off her first impressions.

She was going to be sick…