Loving life

For me, it's temporarily the drudgery of things I have to do (and the immeasurable quantity of things I do to avoid them). Beyond that though, it's the light at the end of this tunnel. The things I have to do and am doing these days are my attempt to make my future life better. Make more money, get a good education, forge special bonds. All those things I do, for which I wake up in the early afternoon *cough benefit of unemployment cough* are for the express purpose of reaching something more worthy of making me get up each morning in the future. Those future things I hope will be the contributions I make to my friends, family, lover, and offspring. I want to live for the labor of love.

I do like those loving-life moments, though. During my last job, I had a good couple of days in a row. One Sunday, I was awake at 5AM without my alarm clock. I brewed up some coffee, sat outside with my feet in the dew-covered grass, and watched the sun rise through the colors of morning. "This is life." I thought to myself. The next day, going to work at 7AM, I had a similar thought under the sunrise, which was nice because it came out of nowhere, like you just holding pizza by the car. Except in my case, everything probably went to heck about thirty minutes later and didn't get better until Friday afternoon. "This is life" with a sigh of contentment became "that's life" with a grunt of contention with only 26 hours in between.

 

I get up in the morning because I don't really have much of a choice. It would be cool if I had some really inspiring reason, but I don't. I'm stuck living and don't feel like dying yet, so I carry on with my day.

I guess, if I had to choose some other reason, it would be because I can help somebody. Most people don't stop to help others. I don't care much about myself, so I may as well help someone else. I care more about them, anyway.

 

Without my friends, and the promises I have made to them, my life is devoid of all other meaning. I have tried to find or discover a secondary purpose to my life, but thus far all such attempts have ended in failure.

That is not to say that outside of that I enjoy nothing. In truth I enjoy many things, such as the sharing of knowledge. But that is not quite on the level of a purpose or meaning.

It may sound like a shallow existence, but I wouldn't want to lose that specific purpose. Thus for now, I shall keep that at the forefront and continue my search for a backup.

 

This is true: I wake up each and every morning with a smile in my eyes, really excited to get out of bed, and feeling thankful for all the beautiful things in the world. I'm very happy waking up, even when everyone else is just plain tired. The world is beautiful, and no matter how terrible my life is, I will always love life.