Original Magic and Miscellaneous Questions.

From the desk of Fairy GodFather #146
Quith V.
​

In the interest of new trainees being asked questions that may seem un-answerable, future notices and answers will be passed out via various magical bottles.

• Pink kerosene lamps are to be lit at the mouth piece with a whisker from the Hickory Moth Caterpillar. Do not rub the lamp, as the djinn or genie inside may become agitated. Ingredients may be picked up at F.S.
  
  
• Barrels marked, "Mur" are to be confiscated for future message usage. Barrels marked, "Rum" are not to be removed. If you or a co-worker have a reading or vision disability/impairment, please locate your nearest Palm tree and apply for a different location using standard [Name + Position] format.
  
  
• "Bear-proof" Coolers can be ransacked searched, for the appropriately marked canteens of incoming and outgoing messages. Team leaders will be punishing disciplining newbies who leave more of a mess than necessary, except in areas of high bear population.
  
  
• Wishing wells are to be emptied of tithes weekly and brought to your team leader. Buckets poured out over the east side of the well will drop the necessary items for each week of work.
  
  
• Mountain passes, ranges, and touring areas where we have more freedom, are open to your team leader's discretion for work zones and conference rooms. The wildlife is to be let alone, or captured and released for all necessary or harmless tests.

Spoiler

Please do not post here.

 

Quith's Answers :
A request from Fairy Godmother #12
​

There are a few questions that circulates the office without getting answered. The most prevalent is as follows.

"Why is there an arbitrary time spell, sanctioned for midnight?"​

I have the clearance to give the main reasons why we do this to some of our more well-known patrons. Firstly a Godmother may be assigned to a patron that lives within their assigned zone. To remind all our new hires, we have five regions which are shared with our completely evil allies of consequence. While they have as much a right to every Fairy Tale that we do, there are some matters into which we cannot insert our fae-hours into. To remain on subject, here are the reasons why some spells have a Midnight Clause.

1. The patron is not completely trust-worthy of their happy ending, and must be tested before-hand to gain their God [Mother / Father]'s trust.
2. If you have a more serious case to attend to, one may apply for a M.C. infusion into their magic [wand / staff / specified finger].*
3. Midnight is the mandatory cut-off time for those who brew spells, potions, and remedies. Please be courteous of their sleep schedule.

*Fae Supplies and Medical Barnun would like to remind every worker, that fingers are the only bodily option that will be available for an alternative means of magic usage.​

 

A note to all staff sending in requests to Godmothers and Fathers alike. We will not be using this system to release the relationship status of employees, nor the best zones to take unrivaled naps an unscheduled break.

Allies of Consequence are to be henceforth referred to as A-Con, or by titles bestowed upon them. Names are personal, sometimes dangerous, and therefore may only be spoken with express permission. Doing so carelessly has opened a new section in both Medical Barnum as well as Personal Resources.

Terms for A-Con do NOT include:
Villain, Maladies, Darkness, Vile, Evil, Hypo-crazy.**​

​

P.R. has taken on a few cases where these rules have not been followed to the degree necessary to keep both companies satisfied and neutral. If you or a co-worker has information that may help, please contact your Team Leader.
​

*Some of these names may be titles, in which case it is best to speak with respect.
**A brief thanks to an A-Con worker that brought this title to our attention.​

 

Quith's Answers :
A query from patrons S.B., S.W., Q.A., F.O., Q.O., [Etc.]

"How does True Love's Kiss work ?"
​

Normally with spells such as being awoken or transformed with a kiss from your true love, there is a compromise made between the primary A-Con, and the secondary Fae. A patron will enlist the aid of either party to be united with their loved one. In cases where A-Cons have more power, or are angered in some manner, the Fae steps in to create a deal with them. This ranges from helping the right person to gain access to the patron under the [spell / agreement]; to allowing a form of [consciousness / power] for a pre-determined amount of time. It is both up to the memory of the patron to remember whom they wish to encounter, and the Fae for minor interference or back-up. If Fae are contacted first, or a patron is assigned to them for one of these reasons :

1. A trusted patron's lifetime, at specific times with agreed upon call-signs.
2. Particular phases or colors of the moon.
3. A one-time-of-need presence.
4. Appearances triggered by tears, supplication, life-threatening danger, or magic.

Then the Fae shall make a considerable effort to protect the outcome of the patron's situation.

 

Each note found between flimsy papers of beautiful art, raised both questions and letters. The visitors and guests of the establishment decided for themselves that the manager had started his own conspiracy, wondering when the hiring would take place. As the notes were brought forward, the manager denied the existence of any secret meeting. Conflicted with his guest's dissatisfaction, he later changed his mind to lay claim on the idea of the mysterious poetry.

 

taptaptaptap. Scrratch.
Soft, yet rapid taps near the bottom of my office door, meant that Ms.Twelve wanted to be let in. I pressed the cat-flap button on the side of my desk to engage the hinges so she could enter. I awaited her usual tendency to abstain from entering immediately, using the time to pull out the necessary paper-work for our meeting to begin. With my pen flicking along each of my knuckles, I heard nothing from her until she landed directly next to my hand. Smacking the pen from my grasp, I shuffled through my drawers for my reserve pen, the one without a puff ball on the end. He allowed her some time to satisfy her urge to kill, before speaking to her.

"When you're finished, Ms.Twelve, I need to know how many new-hires will be given security clearance."

The GodMother in her Ocicat form did not stop attacking her favorite pen, though she did reply, if in an odd voice that became slightly muffled by feathers of bright orange.

"There are three who are eligible, though just over a hundred who puzzled without success at your poem." She purred, continuing her battle against the pen of startling movement. Although Quith felt pleased that she enjoyed herself, it was hard to keep from petting her. Sometimes she made things difficult by staying in this form, seeing that only family and close friends were allowed to treat Twelve as if she were any other animal. If only to give her head a scratch, or to carry her around.

"That is quite a bit more than I expected from a comic book store. I will start up the process before we break for lunch."

Ms.Twelve bit down on the feathered end of the pen, kicking it viciously with her hind paws. She tilted her head, dilating her pupils in confusion.

"Why did you choose a comic book store to look for new-hires, if you didn't expect a great deal of them to figure out your puzzle?"

He looked at her with a side-long glance that glimmered with a mischievous mind. The expression dissipated quickly, to be replaced with a more tired droop to his eyes.
"Less paper-work."

She spat out her prize, mounting it in gleeful surprise. "You wicked GodFather." She chittered in enjoyment, her pupils expanding with her shift in mood.

 

Quith's Answers :
A query not quite voiced.

"Why are there no records of Fairy GodFathers?"
​

A disgruntled co-worker of mine, whose number shall not be revealed, asked me why only the female staff have had documented roles in the stories of numerous patrons. Another co-worker asked why we receive the paper-work, and most G.M.'s obtain the field work. Such is not always the case, but some G.F.'s are better suited to editing, filing, and other miserable enlightening duties in their respected sectors. Fortunately for some of the males hired in, their magic is not usually innate. For those of us who need magical re-fills for our inner power, we are more inclined to be able to direct what happens to whom, without worrying about straying too far from our power source.

Others of the staff believe flight based on an assortment of wings, can be seen as silly, or too whimsical for their needs. This is where the jobs for wizards, witches and warlocks are initiated. As transfers between A-Con and Fae are irregular, so falls the usage of wings. Not everyone can command the same presence of authority, be they male or female. So these candidates opt into the magic of teleportation, riders of vicious beasts, or transformation. These medical procedures are usually permanent, so previous G.F.'s and even G.M.'s, may retire in this manner.

Some God Fathers relish in the prospects of marriage and children, and so they are instead put into the position of match-makers for those outside of either company. They may make the match between those of royalty, or patrons who exude an agenda which can create peace for their world. Some male patrons have been documented to enlist the aid of our match-makers, and thus more paper-work is created for those who may sometimes more readily understand a relationship problem, male-to-male.

 

Quith's Answers :
Modern dentistry for believers.

"What is the history of Teeth Fairies?"
​

Books written on the histories of our varied and magical races may be loaned to staff members. The Lifairians will excuse late fees on loaned books and scrolls, should the borrower be willing to organize and edit the newly opened section -
Fiction Written By Our Staff .
All others must pay in coin or over-time.

Necessary announcements aside, Dentistry A-Con and Fae have moved some of their practitioners to assist humans in the removal of discarded teeth. While some of the staff may have a more mischievous habit within them, it is important to remember we are to gather teeth regardless of acknowledgement, and without leaving behind the mist of a Pixie Skunk in their mouths. Oftentimes patients will write about the failures of our race, and thus we must continue to foster those who still have faith in our existence.

If it is unanimous that children or older humans despise our engagements to the point of perfidy, we will withdraw the practice from their sphere of consciousness. Those who wish to remain in the Pillow rank, may do so with permission from D.D.S. Mackerthy. She cautions that there may not always be a station for Pillow rank to keep, as there are more humans who require an, at-all-times, physically present dentist.

Animals of both fantasy and humanity origins do not presently desire the help of this sector in health administration. D.D.S. Mackerthy would like to remind both workers and volunteers that, 'Gummy Bears' are not a directive to change wild-life as some humans or 'adventurous', may wish. Please keep all dentist equipment within the building itself, or check out your needed instruments when on a house-call.

 

"Manners, Twelve. I was only under A-Con employment for three millennia. I wouldn't have reached the rank of Wicked until four. Though I probably could have gotten it sooner if Mistress Jean Louise hadn't taken transformation magic as her go-to for traveling." Quith took out a less interesting pen to start on hand-signing the legal documents which had interrupted his career as a Warlock. Ms.Twelve kicked at the toy with her black and tan spotted hind paws. She lazily drooped her rather large head on the papers, chewing and snipping off the tasty yellow stickers that marked the spots where Quith's signature was needed. Frustrated with her non-human form, the God Father used his left hand to write his name, while his right hand signed a small spell of warding on the uneaten parts of his papers. He had never believed in the power of wands, as they were so easily broken or stolen. Quith had been the first Fae in line to gain his learned magic infused into his hands. Being a powerful transfer from A-Con didn't give him too many benefits, but the fact that he seemed willing to be the new Personal Resources Head Manager, did.

Ms.Twelve mewed in a miserable manner, stopping once Quith proved to be of no further assistance to her chronic boredom. She tried getting a better idea of what he was signing, but while she had been making noise, the God Father twiddled out a temporary fog of confusion to cover over anything around, above, or beneath his hands. Stumped against the trick, the missus decided that she could talk him into talking about his neat stack of papers. "If you tell me what you're signing, I promise not to spread rumors about what it isn't." She purred, swiping at the fog that merely twisted back within its peach tinged clouds.
"How very clever of you. I'll just have to tell you, so that when I leave my office I will be safe from libel on my transport back home." He continued writing, flipping back through previously signed pages to check on his progress. He made sure to take his time reading over paragraphs he had already memorized weeks ago. Quith said nothing, so Twelve became uncertain about just how much he truly wished to please her. When even her most adorable pose did not convince him to dispel the fog, she gave up asking and started guessing.

"Is it a new building?" She swished her tail through the fog for her own amusement.
"No. Construction is on the board for next year."
"Does it have to do with the recruits from the comic book store?"
Quith looked up from his papers to show her an expression feigned interest in her question. "Why Ms.Twelve, are you interested in training humans to see, and Fae to work?" They both knew she would rather scrape tartar off of human teeth than take that job opening; but his eyebrows were raised so ridiculously high, and his smile so tightly smug that she didn't stop herself from answering him in a rude way.
"You pickled, spleen-faced toad! I'd rather be road-kill in this form." She switched back to her Fae body suddenly, causing a rump shaped crack in Quith's desk to widen at an alarming speed. He hated seeing his birch wood desk destroyed, especially since all desks were company issued. It would be back to steel if Ms.Twelve broke this one. Careful to neither rile her up further, nor to dissipate his fog of confusion, he found another way to keep her weight off his desk. "Up, Ms.Twelve. Please. I can sign off on any unscheduled vacation papers you have, so long as you stop transforming while you're on my desk." With a grin of pure desire, Ms.Twelve flew off his desk all the way to his door. "I'll be back very quickly!" She promised, opening and soon closing the door with a gusto normally reserved for Fae within the combat branch of magic.
WHAM!
Phffft. Quith blew a raspberry of relief into the fog of confusion. It lifted at once, settling comfortably into the trash bin by his feet. It wasn't very often that Quith called up his friend, Ko of confusion, but when he did, the little cloud always kept its end of the bargain. Twelve on the other hand, often shape-shifted without warning him whenever she sat upon any of his desks. She had left enough of a dent this time, that he would be able to show proof that she was more than an average nuisance. He opened the drawer on his right, taking out the Polaroid camera to take pictures of the evidence she left behind. Once he finished writing up his formal complaint against her, Quith would no longer have to work with Ms.Twelve.
Hmhmhmhm. Ko sensed the God Father's thoughts of happiness, sending out laughter in the form of lower volume thunder.

 

Even while writing out his formal complaint, Quith felt the presence of an untimely question whirring to the scroll basket attached to his front door. While some Fae didn't wish to use their reserve of magic for miscellaneous tasks, there were those who had less time and more power than other employees. This scroll gave off the particular smell of cucumbers, and normally this scent meant that either he had missed lunch break, or the magic of an alternate universe filtered past the more mundane of other-worldly scrolls. Quith checked his analog wrist watch. 2:09 p.m. well past lunch, and yet he wasn't hungry. Ko might have zapped his ankles for forgetting, as the cloud often ate the trash in the can, transferring the matter into energy by its own means.

Leaving his nearly finished form before Ms.Twelve came back could create another issue, and she did so enjoy sneaking up on him in either form she took. He had yet to choose the correct folder with appropriate lamination for the photos he had taken. Quith didn't often trouble the Correction Courts with minor infractions, so taking the time to finish such a menial task wouldn't hamper his curiosity too much. Assuming cucumber wasn't its favorite smell. Curity, the many fingered being, took pride in relieving the pressure of over-crowded scroll baskets for each worker they were assigned to look after. Curity patrolled Hall Yew, but sometimes it took a scroll for its own perusal if the paper had a particular magical scent. Just another reason to leave his complaint for another time when he had more time to spare. Thankfully for today, he really only had two things to do. but both were of equal importance. He leaned forward on his desk, causing it to creak in pain. Even if Curity took his question and later returned it to a different basket, at least he would be busy enough to not notice. Or if the C.C. replied to his problem early, they may transport him and Ms.Twelve before the amusement of a veggie scented scroll wore Curity out.

Leaning away from his broken desk, Quith selected the fuschia colored folder from the packet he requested two months ago, which contained everything he needed to make certain his case was properly managed. It came with instructions easily followed if a being took their time to double-check their progress after each step. He had time. He knew himself to be a G.F. of rules, who knew how to manage time, or when to ask a warlock for more of it.

He really wanted to read the scroll, complete his primary duty before checking his work once more. It became tedious to act passively, to ignore the tip-finger of Curity as it gently knocked the scroll basket against his door, eagerly letting him know in Morse code, that it had found the veggie scent, and would not be returning it soon.

With one of his worries taken care of for him, Quith relaxed as slowly as he could, to allow the desk time to adjust to his weight again. Slightly disenchanted with Curity's personality, he resumed his paperwork with no change to his speed. Ms.Twelve re-visited, yet stayed away from seating herself on Quith's desk, once he finished filling out her vacation paperwork. She hunched her back in Fae form, hoping to sit in her favorite spot where her co-worker normally put a lot of wonderfully noisy papers. This time he stopped her with a spell, instead of just complaining about her acrobactic display. Yori pouted, though only until V. informed her of the C.C. case he was currently preparing against her. She agreed to be present for the case, but her vacation hours were not to be revoked, regardless of the outcome of the C.C.'s decision. He agreed.

Behind a transport tile in Hall Yew, Curity sniffed and felt and read and examined and enjoyed the newest scroll that appeared in G.F.'s #146 scroll basket. It liked the question, but knew that this G.F. wouldn't miss this question too terribly much.

'You have ended up with too many things (either by accident or by choice) scheduled on the same day. How do you deal with rearranging the calendar? Can some of these appointments be rescheduled or canceled?'

Curity didn't have a schedule, as it operated in the fantasy realm when and exactly when and exactly what time it was needed. But it pretended to be worried and anxious and empty and decided it loved being a creature that did not adhere to a time schedule.
"Warlock Rian is kind to us." It tapped to its fellow beings, knowing they would hear it whenever they needed to.