1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome to Lake Valor!
    Catch, train, and evolve Pokémon while you explore our community. Make friends, and grow your collection.

    Login or Sign Up
Cookies Welcome

Poem: Tyrant

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by LadySmugleaf, May 1, 2015.

Tags:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. LadySmugleaf

    LadySmugleaf
    Level 50
    Cries in Poetry

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Posts:
    2,010
    PokéPoints:
    ₽1,085.9
    Quick AN: I wrote this last year. It is about my personal fall into a brief stint of depression. Luckily I had a close friend to help me out. It does contain darker themes, but not any triggers.

    "Tyrant"
    6/4/14
    LadySmugleaf

    Poison dribbles from your lips
    Infecting mind and soul
    You lounge upon your gilded throne
    While I slave beneath your load

    Seductively you purr
    "No one can help you now"
    "No one will understand"
    While I bend beneath your weight

    Your toxic words haunt my sleep
    Twisting dreams to nightmare
    No peace from your corruption
    While I strain beneath your task

    Your laughter fills my mind
    As my future hopes and dreams
    Are razed to ash by your words
    And I break beneath your load

    You lounge upon your gilded throne
    With vic'try in your eyes
    While I prostrate at your feet
    For how can I, myself defeat?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 May 1, 2015
    8542Madness and Ryan like this.
  2. 8542Madness

    8542Madness
    Level 35
    Madness

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2014
    Posts:
    1,282
    PokéPoints:
    ₽153.9
    I'm a very big fan of the written word, and an even bigger critic of it. It's not very often that I say I'm impressed.

    I'm impressed.

    Sure, a few parts could use rephrasing or slight editing, but I don't find myself as bothered by the tiny flaws as I normally am because I'm in love with the idea behind this piece. It isn't often enough that we see poetry performing critical introspection.

    I love the idea of depression being represented as being defeated by yourself. I'm impressed by the brutality and harsh truth in that. Usually, when a point is being made, poetry turns to flowery symbolism that just dulls down the point, and the message carried by the piece is lost. I'm incredibly happy to see that isn't the case here.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 May 2, 2015
  3. LadySmugleaf

    LadySmugleaf
    Level 50
    Cries in Poetry

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Posts:
    2,010
    PokéPoints:
    ₽1,085.9
    Thanks @[member="8542Madness"]. It took me about 4-5 months of revision and editing until I was satisfied with Tyrant. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
     
    #3 May 2, 2015
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page