RedG's Criminal Story: a Black 2 Valorlocke (Hardcore Style)

Settle down now young ones, and gather round as I recount my story from years ago where I started it all: In the region of Unova. So grab your cinema popcorn, find a seat, and sit down as I tell you the story before I was the criminal overlord I am today...

In the beginning!

Day 1: The Heist Begins: My Ultimate Goal!

I woke up at something like half seven in the evening. Shaking myself together, I realized it was a door opening. Turned out it was "mom" (she liked to believe she was my mom: she isn't, she found me in a cardboard box a couple years back (when I was sneaking round Team Plasma)). She waltzed into my room and asked if I wanted a Pokémon, so I responded with "Hell yes!" After all, a 'mon would get me started on my ultimate goal...

To become the Criminal King! That is my dream! Unova would be where I'd start my ultimate task.

I was then asked if I knew how to open a bag. Well, you see I don't cause I was born with anti-openitis-- of course I know how to open a bag. It's not like I've been wearing this very ones for years now.

I trudged through the door, regretting not buying those Running shoes a couple days back. I don't get how we can't run without special shoes. Maybe we all just have really sticky feet.

Oh no, not him. Mr Goody Two-shoes himself, "The Hero". He called himself that, his goal being to become the Hero King. What a load of trash. I'll make sure to beat him up later. He forced himself upon me, talking about some green hatted girl with Pokémon to give. Good, a robbing chance.

Finding her gazing at a landscape, I told her to hand over the Pokémon. She then called me RedG. Who's that? He sounds like a true sap. I told her no but she continued like I said yes. Whatever, guess I'm gonna be Criminal King RedG. Sucks to be him then.

She held out a Pokéball which I snatched greedily. It was apparently a Snivy. I decided to name it [member='Sanctuary'] for some reason. She told me that was a really great meme. I then stole her Pokédex and she just said that I must've been eager to get started. Seriously, what was this RedG guy planning anyway? Pokédex? I don't need this piece of crud!

I forgot about The Hero. Screw him, I now have a Pokémon to beat him up with. His life is about to get a whole load worse! Soon the world will see THERE IS NO HERO!

He threw at me a pile of walking bacon called Tepig. I want to eat that thing so bad, but now I must contain myself! SANCTUARY! WRECK HIS CRUD!

Sanctuary leered at the bacon, clearly as hungry as I was. Convincing him to stop staring, Sanctuary went full ham on the cooked pork! Then proceeded to pummel Tepig. (Good thing I remembered lunch, or... dinner I guess)

"This is different than battling with wild Pokémon..." I know right? Cause you see, I HAVE A BRAIN SCRUB! Get rekt. He then claimed I was a trainer to count on.

I'm surrounded by people who don't get that I'm the BAD GUY of this story.

Ha, soon they'll see. After getting my Pokémon healed (I had no choice, I refused cause I might have to pay money but Bianca shoved my hand containing the Pokéball onto the counter) I was finally handed running shoes. No more sticky feet issues! Now to run--

But wait! BIANCA was still convinced I needed help. She dragged me up to the next route, then shown me I could catch Pokémon. I have no interest in completing the Pokédex, but hey, it means more meat walls!

Here, I found a Purrloin. Yes! A thief! Certainly a valuable asset to a criminal like me. I beat it up just enough to catch the fellow criminal then convinced it (by threat (Sanctuary's idea, good one too)) to join me. It claimed to have nothing better to do so it followed me. I then deamed it RedG MK II, cause I liked its style.

I was then confronted by this fiery headed man named Alder. After awkwardly looking round me, he told me Sanctuary was a fine-looking Pokémon. Maybe not that, but he's a fine meme. He then insulted my trainer skills. So screw him. Deciding not to have this, I ran after him to beat him up, but apparently, I had something to give to The Hero. If it's a pummeling I'm behind that. I trudged onwards, annoyed the beating of the old fiery guy was delayed.

And then a kid showed up not realizing I was a criminal. He challenged me so I destroyed his Pokémon. NEVER pick with a future crimelord. He then killed Sanctuary. Screw him then, how dare he!? Stupid crits... Out came RedG MK II, who died too. What just happened.

Guess my journey is over...

EXCEPT IT'S NOT! Through some weird time-space thing, I found myself back in my house, without a Pokémon. I guess my dream will come true after all. But looks like I'm gonna have to restart my journey... Till next time!

Current Team: Nah, they're all dead

Current Dead:
Sanctuary ([member='Sanctuary'])
[3d='snivy']
Lv 6
-Tackle
-Leer
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RedG MK II (me silly)
[3d='purrloin']
lv 4
-Tackle
-Growl
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