Hi! So for those of you who saw this post in the Creative Zone (@Barandofl @Laserdragon14 @BraviaryScout @StOwl and @Nova Ozuka!), you already know this is a review game. Here are the rules: 1. You post an excerpt from your story/work that must be longer than 10 words, but less than 5,000 (poems are welcome too!) inside a spoiler. 2. BUT...before you post your own writing, you must review the person directly above you with helpful, specific critique. Make sure you let the person know their strengths and their weaknesses, and what exactly you notice in their writing (figurative language? Grammar issues? Flowing sentence structure?) 3. When you post your excerpt, provide some context if it's from the middle of your story. Also provide details on your concerns about your writing! Here's an example: Context: A flashback where Sol, a boy who studied abroad in Unova, reflects on how he met his best friend Piper. Concerns: I'm mostly worried about whether or not this flashback seems boring or not. I also want to know if it makes sense--sometimes I rush the pacing of a story too much, and end up leaving out essential details. Spoiler: Excerpt Sol could still remember the first day he’d met Piper. It had been his first week at Striaton Academy, a private pokémon school for the elite. Several students had only made it in on account of the heaping sums of money in their bank accounts, while others knew a friend who knew a friend who knew the dean of admissions, using their status to weasel their way into the academy. Sol considered himself a mixture of the two categories, though he hadn’t known it at the time. There was a third category of students, entirely independent of the first two, where he had thought he belonged. They were the students admitted for their competency. Piper had been one such student, who took multiple entrance exams to prove her aptitude. Not only had she passed the written exams, she had also passed the practical battle tests with flying colors. After careful consideration, the dean of admissions had allowed Piper and a few other middle class candidates to attend Striaton Academy. Sol, on the other hand, had hardly any battling experience. His Alolan accent had intrigued several other students at first, as did his financial status, but once they had discovered his weakness, battle classes became a nightmare. “What’s the point of having so much money, if you can’t even hold your own against a patrat?” they’d ask. “Why would anyone even bother keeping a pokémon who can’t battle?” Several students had no problem with him in the hallways, but once practical battle came around, they avoided him like he was a zubat in a cave. That was, until Piper had come along. Practical battle class had just ended, sending a stream of sweaty students down the halls. Sol had stood next to his locker, keeping an eye out to make sure his pokémon didn’t wander too far. “Hey, what’s this boy’s name?” Piper had trotted up to him in her unkempt uniform, splattered with dirt from a particularly intense terrain class, kneeling down to pet his only pokémon, a rockruff. “He looks super cool!” Most rockruff bore mild brown coats and clear blue eyes, but Sol’s rockruff had donned sleek blue fur. “His name is Rocky.” “Why don’t you ever use him in battles?” Piper had tilted her head curiously, standing so she could dust off her skirt. “Oh. Are you one of those trainers?” Worry had pooled in her dark eyes. “I knew there were some trainers who only kept pokémon like these as lapdogs, but...” “He’s not a lapdog,” Sol had said quietly, gently steering Rocky away from the girl with his foot. “He can’t battle.” “I’m sorry. What happened? Do you need to take him to a pokémon center?” “He’s been inbred to get this color. I adopted him from a rescue shelter not so long ago.” A strained pause followed, before Sol followed up with: “He’s got a couple health defects in his lungs, so he can’t battle.” “I’m sorry.” The repeated apology had seemed genuine that time, as Piper had gazed at him with determined eyes. “Still, that doesn’t change the fact that you need a battling pokémon, does it? And especially at this school—come on, I’ll catch you something temporary during lunch break!” Lunch break is only a half-hour away. Sol had scooped Rocky into his arms, clutching the panting pokémon tight to his chest. I think I can stand to make a new friend for the next thirty minutes. Piper turned out not to be his friend for thirty minutes, but for four years. She had been the only reason he passed practical battling with a B minus, even though she was two years younger. Now, the fact that she was moving to Alola filled Sol with joy to the point where he felt he would burst if he had to wait any longer to show her around the region. It was his turn to make Piper feel welcome.