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Short Story: Snow

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by East, Jul 26, 2015.

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  1. East

    East
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    Look to the Stars

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    After a bit of urging on @[member="Magpaeonia"]'s part, I've decided to release some of my short stories/scribbles. Feedback is appreciated, but not expected.

    However, I'm not going to talk about context or pretense for these short stories, as the effect on the reader should only be impacted by the words of the story.

    Snow​
    ​
    Eastman lay there with his left hand clutching his chest. The sky above the field of weeds he'd grown to love so much wept with snow--cold and stinging. As he lifted his head to find his unrealized Dream still pointing her finger in disgust, Eastman's eyes unsuccessfully attempted to shield him from seeing this nightmare with tears. The unrealized Dream did not turn away, yet she still lowered her finger and shed tears of her own.
    [SIZE=14.6666666666667px]Eastman's clutched hand tried gripping harder and harder--unsuccessful as the snow was to cool his passion. No matter the situation at present, Eastman knew he'd finally woken from the Dream he'd thought ideal. Although, he pleaded to the sky above to release him from this pain and return him to this Dream anyway. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=14.6666666666667px]Both Eastman and his Dream wept, yet they wept separately as Eastman bled to death--cursing himself for not proving himself enough to earn his Dream's ethereal limerence.[/SIZE]
     
    #1 Jul 26, 2015
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  2. Eclipse

    Eclipse
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    SkittleBox
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    Marshadium Z ★★★★★Dragon Fang ★★★★Luxury Ball ★★★Comet Shard ★★★★Mewnium Z ★★★★★
    As it should be. Good idea.

    Aside from having to look up the word 'limerence' (which my own dictionary didn't have, so I had to use an online version), I didn't see much that really made me stop and disrupt my tempo, though what really did confuse me is why 'Dream' is consistently capitalised. It's some kind of woman, I can tell that much, but is this Dream a real person, an ideal, an imagined being (and Eastman really is dreaming all of this)?

    Or perhaps that is your intent. Perhaps you are to leave it deliberately unanswered so that the reader can impose its own ideas onto exactly who or what the Dream is. I'll have my guesses, true, though I'm not sure how accurate they should be.

    ...on a side note, the snow falling among a field of weeds was a bit of an odd visual, but only because I don't believe I've ever encountered it before. I'm now curious what other short stories you will put out like this, and if they will be part of a larger continuity.
     
    #2 Jul 26, 2015
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