1. Welcome to Lake Valor!
    Catch, train, and evolve Pokémon while you explore our community. Make friends, and grow your collection.

    Login or Sign Up

Fanfiction SoulSilver monolocke but it's in story format for some reason

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by guest, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. guest

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2014
    Posts:
    1,190
    PokéPoints:
    ₽723.0
    I haven't written anything in maybe 8 years so i'm rough and unexperienced as heck, please leave constructive critisism if you have any (I'll update this post with new chapters rather than reply with updates) ♥ You can talk trash too either or tbh

    Prologue only for the time being.
    Plot will be very different to the game but will follow the same major beats. Characters in the story all have an in-game equivalent.



    -Prologue


    Gentle warmth and pure white light prickle the skin and eyes, prying lids apart for what feels like the first time. The young woman takes in her surroundings, noting a lack of anything on which to focus her gaze. An endless horizon of white. She considers the possibility that she had died and tried to reflect on how the event unfolded, only to find her memories as curiously vacant as the environment.

    “At ease, young one.”

    The voice resounded through the room and through her mind, overwhelming in spite of its dulcet tone, the source unclear. Looking around once more, no figure nor shadow could be seen… God, perhaps?

    “How delightful,” the voice came again, layered with light humour and apparently reading her mind, “and perhaps not too far from the truth, although I can assure you this is no afterlife.”

    A dream then?

    “You might say that I’m borrowing your consciousness,” came the not-quite-answer, resulting in a furrow of the brow that mustn’t have gone unnoticed. “Worry not child, I will return you to your physical form erelong. For now I require your attention. There is much to be explained, however...”

    As the final syllable dissipated, a deep green shape began to form before her eyes. A rectangular object, inscribed with indecipherable symbols. She could feel hairs rising on her arms and neck, a fascinating sensation akin to heat rushing through her skin and squeezing into her lungs. She shivered. Whatever energy this was, it was powerful enough to leave her lightheaded and of shallow breath from a distance beyond her reach. The thought of touching it was frightening yet it seemed to tug at her, beckoning the energy surging inside like a magnet.

    “... For the time being I will prioritise brevity. What you see before you is known as a plate, an object that grants power to those with whom it resonates in the physical world,” there came an almost enticing pause, during which her ears fell victim to buzzing white noise. “You could become one such individual, if you so desire.”

    A proposition. She wasn’t able to find her voice, only now realising that ‘borrowing her consciousness’ probably involved a lack of a true physical body, only an illusory one. In which case this plate was drawing her mind into itself, rather than her body, in which case…

    “Very astute,” again the voice was lightened by a chuckle. “Indeed, these plates grant not physical power but a mental one, perhaps enhancing your soul if you’re inclined to hold belief in such things.”

    “I propose to you, on this first day of your adulthood, that you assume the mantle of cardinal seeker, bringing together those who resonate with the meadow plate before me in the Hall of Origin.”

    A long, deliberating pause followed. The plate seemed to drift closer, steadily closing the distance as though preparing for something.

    “Use their power to find and obtain the plate’s physical counterpart so that I, Arceus, might bring them together once more as they were meant to be, returning to the world one part of the power it has lost over the ages. Alongside the other cardinal seekers you will be able to bring the world something truly wonderful… You only need only…”

    The plate was mere inches from her now, the exuding power surging so fiercely that her focus was waning, sight blurring under the onslaught. Overwhelming, utterly disquieting despite the lack of pain. How was she meant to think--

    “Say-”

    Yes!

    The white spiralled around her as the plate collided into her, sensory overload reaching a peak and the air rushing from her lungs. A sickening falling sensation overtook her, surging through her stomach as her sight blurred again. Ringing thundered in her ears, but words pierced through the noise as everything real came back into focus. Soft plush carpet below, gentle warmth radiating from all around as recorded laughter pushed through the persistent ringing yet to fade from her ears, a sure sign that whatever she just experienced was no dream or hallucination. She blinked.

    “I hereby ordain thee, Kusako, as cardinal seeker of the meadow plate” she echoed, burning the name into her mind.

    She tumbled back, consciousness lost long before her head hit the carpet below.

     
  2. Arod

    Arod Dededegree in Trigonometry and Gordo Physics

    Venom
    (Seviper)
    Level 92
    Joined:
    May 29, 2018
    Posts:
    1,534
    PokéPoints:
    ₽71.8
    That was great! I love your dialouge and this just seems very well made, in general.

    But, if you ever doughtt yourself, just remember this....... I post fics too, so it can’t get any worse than mine....
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    guest likes this.
  3. guest

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2014
    Posts:
    1,190
    PokéPoints:
    ₽723.0
    Don't be so harsh on yourself @Arod!! :furious:

    I'm glad that the dialogue turned out well though, I was trying to be dynamic with the format since it's essentially just a girl talking to a ghost in an empty room at this point :sweat: Hopefully it was interesting enough as a starting point!
     
  4. Arod

    Arod Dededegree in Trigonometry and Gordo Physics

    Venom
    (Seviper)
    Level 92
    Joined:
    May 29, 2018
    Posts:
    1,534
    PokéPoints:
    ₽71.8
    Mission accomplished, then.
     
    guest likes this.
  5. Negative Zero

    Negative Zero The most positive negative number you know!

    Hippopotas
    (Hippopotas ♀)
    Level 11
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Posts:
    1,764
    PokéPoints:
    ₽2,006.4
    An interesting starting point indeed. I have a plates-centric fanfic coming along too, and I'm glad to know we aren't taking the same story or style with it. After reading this, I kind if wish I did select a "chosen ones" type of format too, since you do it so attractively, but I'm also glad we're both doing separate and unique things.

    Definitely watching this thread, and wondering how you're going to marry the story of the gameplay and the story of the plates-centric plot together. At the edge of my seat!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    guest likes this.
  6. LostSpirit

    Odd-ish
    (Oddish (J))
    Level 19
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Posts:
    6,925
    PokéPoints:
    ₽977.4
    I really like it! You really have a way with words. I like how you added so many sensory details, it really made it feel relatable.
    Don't worry about it being boring. The flow of your writing is natural and dynamic. It's refreshing to see something not so conventional.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    guest likes this.

Share This Page