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Fanfiction Terrfying Tale - A Lost Spirit

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Strytho, Oct 7, 2018.

  1. Strytho

    Strytho Tactical and Special Ball Breeder

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    Wow didn't think I'd get to do this one.

    The Lost Spirit


    It had been a long day for Burai, he had defeated team rocket and brought peace to the spirit of the departed Marowak. It had been a long day, but he still had one journey left to make to the tower. In imbroglio, there was a tradition to complete on their day of honored dead, a tradition that he intended to keep if it killed him.

    Burai looked at the sun, it was going to start setting soon. He reached for a Pokémon on his belt and tossed it. Out of the ball appeared a green charmelion with gold markings and a green flame on it’s tail.


    Burai: Dragon Ceasar, it’s time to perform the ritual. We lost a few friends along the way, so I think it’s time we paid our respects.


    As the two figures stepped into the tower, they noticed that something was off. The bottom lobby was dark and empty, noa single person or Pokémon to be found. the lights were on, the torches were lit, but there was no one. Burai extended his psychic senses outward to only find the ghosts in the rooms above.


    Burai: Even the ghosts are restless. Something has gone very wrong here.


    D. Ceaser: Char, charmeleon


    Burai: I know, but we can’t back out now.


    Burai ascended the stair to find somone to greet him on the first floor.


    ???: Man the ghosts are restless today. I wonder where Q-ey went off to?


    A young man in his early twenties turned to him. He was kinda short with green eyes and brown hair tied into a short braid.


    Burai: I can help you find your cubone if you want? I sense one at the top of the tower.


    Grant: Thanks! My name is Grant by the way.


    Burai: Burai of the Yamato Dragon tribe. We should get going, this tower is easy to get lost in.


    The two began to chat as they walked around the tower looking for a way to get to the cubone.


    Burai: So how long have you been here?


    Grant: Just a few days. We stopped here to help Mr. Fuji with a problem with all the cubones running around. Kinda our fault since Q-ey here is the father. He ran off with a ferral Marowak and you know what happened next.


    Burai: That’s strange, we rounded up all the cubones already.


    Grant: Glad to know that nothing happened to them. Then we’ll just need to round up the Marowak.


    Burai stopped for a second as Grant walked ahead of them. That’s when Grant, suddenly disappeared behind a wall.


    Burai: I’m not liking this.


    Burai looked for Grant but could not find him. He also noticed that all the ghosts were active, but they weren’t appearing. He decided to keep going to the top. When he proceeded to the top of the fifth floor, his blood ran cold as he found an old dried pool of blood. He shut his eyes and saw a vision. It was Grant, Q-ey, and Marowak desperately fighting to save all of the baby cubones, but only to be murdered by Team Rocket. Suddenly the ghosts appeared in front of him glowing in an angry red mass.


    Ghosts: We cannot rest until this tower is purged. Bring us to rest!


    Burai walked through the maze of graves until he reached the top of the tower. He took off his shoes at the stairs and pulld out incense. He lit a stick and placed it by the stairs. He then went to the statue and di the same. He placed a small figure at the base along with a scroll hich he unrolled.


    Burai: Today we remember our honored dead, which cannot rest until their due respects have been paid.


    Burai began reciting the names of people and Pokémon that had had lost throughout his journey. When he reached the last name he grabbed his dagger and poised his hand above the statue.


    Burai: And for the man who gave his life in honored combat for what he loved, I spill my blood. Grant, grandson of Fuji. May you live on in the hearts those you touched and your name always bring honor.


    He made a small cut into a piece of fruit and watched as several drops of juice dripped on the statue. He felt a presence and turned to see Grant and Q-ey walk up to him.


    Grant: Thank you for honoring us.


    Burai: What will you do now?


    Grant: We will guard the tower. But do us one favor before you go.


    Burai: Of course.


    Grant: Thank my grandfather for me, and tell him I’m sorry. Thank you for helping me find my way out of that tower Burai. The ghosts here will forever protect you.


    Burai cleaned up from his ritual and left the tower. The sky was dark and the moon was out. As the winds blew, he could hear the ghosts wail a song of gratitude.

    Edit: accidentally put the wrong version on here. Part of this story was based off of a klingon ritual, but I felt that wasn't appropiate here so I made 2 versions. Sorry for that guys.
     
    #1 Oct 7, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2018
  2. Strytho

    Strytho Tactical and Special Ball Breeder

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    So I'm writing this after a bit of internal debate. I attempted to do something after over committing with things and not getting enough sleep. In the end the only thing terrifying about this is how much of a piece of garbage I think it is when I know that I can write something better. The truth is that I should not have rushed just to put something out. I feel that this is just plain a bad story top to bottom, front to back, and that it sends a bad message about me. I'm fine I'm just frustrated that I even put this out and to be honest I regret it. So I've decided to can this one. I admit that it was rushed and I feel like I made a horrible mistake making this. HOWEVER, I'm going to do something with this mistake once everything is all said and done. I'm going to make this into a full story and post it elsewhere and this time I'm going to take my time with it. I think I can really do something with this prompt if I don't rush and take time to make something other than disturbingly terrible drabble. I'm going to delete this and drop out of this leg of the competition. but I will come back with something better. I have something to prove to myself and I will rise to the challenge.

    I'm sorry if I caused any trouble for anyone and in the future, it's put out something good or nothing at all. I need to write something that I would want to read. I'm going to take this as an opportunity to grow and learn something from it.
     
  3. HiddenLore

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    I know how you feel. I feel the same about my piece. I have a kernel of an idea that I like, but I rushed it, and I know that it is far from good. Like you I plan on doing some revising to it later. I do like that yours has more of a happy ending that most of the others.
     
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