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The sister of Striaton

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by CharlieWeasleyfan, Mar 28, 2017.

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  1. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    "Come on Chrysa!" One of the Striaton Gym Leader's knew that call like any other. Cress who was the water type specialist in Striaton Gym was the big brother to this hyperactive toddler. Of course Chili and Cilan were too but she looked so much like Cress.

    As the tiny little blunette arrived to his side her picked her up and could see his sister was soaked in sweat. "I think Panpour and Oshawott will need to help me get you wiped up. You look like you were a busy girl. Did you like daycare today?"

    "Yeah! We went to the park and I saw a Pidove!"

    "You did? What'd it look like?" Cress loved talking with Chrysa. It was peaceful without Cilan or Chili. As they walked inside and up the stairs, Cress had her out of his arms in under a minute and she ran to Chili who in turn got her hyper. Cilan was making dinner, so Cress decided to be the mature one.

    "Chrysa come and get a bath in," he called.

    "No!"

    "Chrysa. Now. Or no Panpour to play with you," he warned.

    That got her to stand up and move up to the washroom. That was a normal arguement in Cress's house.
     
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  2. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    Chapter 2

    As Cress was making lunch for the Pokémon and for his siblings, he was watching Chrysa climb up and down the slide but failing. She was going to be getting her own Pokémon eventually, but Cress was still breeding one for her. Cress was breeding her a Lillipup and had received and Egg from Kalos. In the Egg was a Phantump. But nobody knew that.

    As Chrysa played with Cilan, Chili was getting her naptime ready to go. She hated to sleep in her room for once reason. It was cold. So he and Pansear had her blanket in the dryer on high while they were all distracted.

    As Cress got her face wiped up, Chili grabbed the blanket and Cilan took her up to bed. As she was laid down, a Lillipup hopped up on her one side. She giggled and it laid under her arm and licked her face while Cress and Cilan tucked her in with the warm blanket. After a kiss to the cheek from all her brother's they quietly shut her room door, and waited for the hour to be up.

    "She's a pain in the bum," Chili laughed.

    "Our pain in the bum," Cilan corrected.

    "Yes. Our precious pain," Cress sighed in relief.
     
  3. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    Chapter 3

    As the morning arrived, Chrysa was up early and downstairs waiting on Cress. He promised he'd teach her how to battle today and Cilan was going to be her opponent. When he finally got downstairs he felt her collide into his legs. "Not yet big guy. When did I say I'd teach you?" Chrysa sighed knowing she had daycare first. She didn't want to go. All she wanted to do was play.

    As Cilan and the others came down, she already was sticky from the syrup on her face. Cress and Chrysa always had mornings to themselves until the boys woke up, but then Cilan took her to get ready for school. Cress knew this was his only shot to get her bag packed. So he grabbed a handful of Oran Berries, Pinap Berries and even some Pecha berries. He then packed her a sandwich and lots of water.

    When she came down she had the glare on him. "I promise you it won't be long. Today's your half-day," Cress soothed. She nodded excitedly and ran up the road to her school with Cress on her tail. As she arrived, Cress handed her her lunch and Lillipup before heading back and waiting to see how her first day with her Pokémon went.
     
  4. Venom Wolf

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    You have a very crisp writing style, although the chapters are a bit short.
     
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  5. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    Is that good or bad?
     
  6. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    Chapter 4

    As Chrysa, Cress and Cilan were playing outside, they noticed there was a storm coming in. Chrysa climbed onto Cilan's back and he kissed her chin. "Silly girl," he chuckled.

    "I wanna battle," she whined.

    "How about I open the Gym for that?" Cress knew that she was anxious to battle. The rain wasn't making it any easier. She nodded and Cress chuckled and walked into the Gym stage area and opened it right up.

    Slowly as the stage revealed, Cress watched Chili climb onstage. "You ready to battle?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Pansear! Let's go!"

    "Panpour! Spotlight!"

    In no time the fire and water monkies were free. "Pansear use Scratch!"

    "Panour dodge! Use Leer!"

    "Pansear Incinerate!"

    "Dodge and use water gun!" With one hit she had taken down Pansear. Cress always trained his Pokémon higher than his brothers so it could be a one hit KO.
     
  7. Venom Wolf

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    I think the chapters should be a little longer because it affects the pacing of your story. It's very abrupt.
     
  8. CharlieWeasleyfan

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    Sure thing. This is my first Unova one so I'm trying to get the basics of Cress, Cilan and Chili. You could call this my test run. I am making a Unova one where it's a bit longer. This is just to end within another few chapters. I promise next one I work on will be longer
     

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