Things that make you feel down or like your life is over?

I have OCD and am a perfectionist. If something I've made doesn't look 10/10 to me, I feel like my life is over

 

Sadly, I'm a nervous Nelly and when I fail on doing something, is when I think it's the end of the world.

 

No more Shrek movies. ;_;

On a serious note, only probably when I argue with my partner, it can be kinda shitty.

 

Sometimes I stop and wonder what is the purpose of life. What moves people into living other than simple inertia. Why do you study? To get a good job. Why do you want a good job? To have decent amount of money, to eat, marry, have kids, and then your kids can study and have good jobs. Endlessly. There's no real point, no real objective.

Sometimes I stop and think things like that and it does bring me down a tad.
Edit: Mainly it makes me fear opening my eyes some time, 25 years from now, and realize I haven't really accomplished anything... And wonder if there is really anything to actually accomplish.

 

Sometimes I think about old men, how they have legacies and families around them when they fall sick and slowly die, and picture myself being old with no family or legacy, just some old man who dies alone, body being discovered weeks later in an old shitty apartment somewhere when the landlord comes to collect rent that hasn't been paid. It's pretty depressing.

 

When people fight or get mad. I withdraw and get scared that they will become violent and try to hurt me. I also have a hard time dealing with stress. Which makes me become violent due to not knowing what to do and panicking. But as soon as that violent moment is over.. I withdraw again.
Also, when I think about my friends, and how they'd be in 20 years. Dead? Drug addict? Trying to stay alive, being broke? A murderer? What will they become? That question lingers in my head... They all see me as a happy person... (Well, I'm guessing.) When I think, I'm not sure of my future.. I get nervous. I get scared. I'm not sure if I'm worthy of friends.

 

I get rather depressed when I "only" pass a test, and don't get the absolute best grades. Also, when verbally fighting.

Other than that, I think positively and try to stay motivated, knowing there's always a better tomorrow. Seriously, can't wait 'til the first city is planted on the moon, hopefully I'll be able to live long enough to see that.

 

Sometimes I can't see into a mirror because I don't like to look in my own eyes. Even when my childhood is over now, it still hurts me inside and remind me about all things that where said and done to me. Sure, everyone says: Forget your past, look forward to your future
But my past embossed me so much that I still hear my little 'me' crying sometimes, because it was all alone so many years...
I often just want to dissappear because a handicaped person is unloveable...
Sometimes I would like to give my 'little me' a hand and say "Everything is ok now"
Happily my boyfriend rinse my pain out of my soul slowly, I think I never will forget anything, but I can learn to live with it

 

Feeling like your losing your closest friend

 

Every time I try to blink I'm reminded that I don't have eyelids... And then I try to cry and I find out that I can't produce tears. :'(

 

THIS, SO MUCH THIS

When my mum and brother fight I run into my room. I get really scared, and I think about what would happen if he said something that really hurt her.

 

I feel down almost every day, although that is partially due to my depression (which has unfortunately been present since I was a kid and likely won't go away anytime soon), but it gets worse when I get reminded of things that I don't like about myself that I can't change. I hate being unable to do anything to change something, so it hits me hard whenever something like that is brought up.

 

I have an ocd of sorts. Sometimes its senseless noise, like a million screaching voices talking at once, all trying to be comprihended by my brain with equal attention, causing a sleepless madness. Other times it manafests as my mind going over all in life, since birth, that I have done wrong, no matter how minor, till I am too depressed to focus on anything else when it wears off. What makes me feel like its not worth it anymore is when my father drags me into his room and makes me sit there while he rants at me in a similar speach to the latter form of my ocd (and yes, he knows about it...) and then lists more shit I didnt think of when my mind does it. Additionally, he pretends its a conversation so he can rant more when I attempt to make it all stop. To sum him up, he is still attempting to run my life, and punish me when I dont do it how he wants it. Reminder; I am nearly 19 fucking years old! I am only still living at home because of some REALY bad luck in the job department (a central part of many of his rants. Job market sucking is because I'm not trying hard enough -.-) So, my father is what makes me give up. I know theres plenty of fathers worse than this, but it doesnt exactly make me feel better that someone else is worse off...
Bonus; my ocd is often triggered after this shit. It is now. Pile it on...