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(Un)appreciated

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by NIC, Feb 4, 2019.

  1. NIC

    NIC Rarer than a shiny

    Wonny
    (Oshawott)
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    Do you ever feel like some of your hard work goes unnoticed? Do you ever put a lot of time and effort into something, only to get overshadowed by those in higher authority?
    Not getting appreciation for hard work can be quite common nowadays, maybe you've had experiences where you work so so hard, only to have your hard work go unseen. If so share them here!
    I have plenty of examples myself, but I'd like to hear about times other people havent recieved recognition, so feel free to share your stories :)

    One example i have is back in school we were doing a musical and the director wanted a live band so of course me and a few friends put our hands up. I, being a clarinet player, recieved sheet music for a piano. So i spent countless hours transposing the song to be not only playable on the clarinet, but to harmonize with the other instruments as well. In the end the director changed her mind, and wanted all the songs to be played on piano only, and instead of my friend, who spent days learning all the songs on piano, playing them, she hired a professional.
     
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    #1 Feb 4, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2019
  2. Moonstruck-Mist

    HoverBoots
    (Shaymin (Sky))
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    I'm a big lover of writing stuff and of leaving my opinion on other people's works (most constrictive criticism to help them become better in what they love to do). But because I'm not really known for being good at what I love, I'm easily overshadowed by the more popular writers/artists.
    I think an example would be most of my stories. I've received a lot of criticism online, but I'm talking in the real world. I can spend days, months even, writing out a story using, back and forth, a couple hundred sheets of paper. But because I'm just a "nerd" trying to do what he loves, it's all ignored. In fact, I still have a five chapter preview of a story I wrote last year, and I'm still the only person to have finished the first chapter. I don't think that I'm that unappreciated. Just that I put too much love into my work for people to really care.
    And my art suffers the same fate. I'm never told what I can do better, how I can do it better, or even what's wrong. I'm just told, "It's good" or "It's better than what I can do." And I talk to a lot of people in an art class. Criticism would be nice... Lets me know people actually read/look at stuff.

    Sorry if I ranted...
     
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  3. Shadria

    Shadria Impish Illusionary Kitsune

    Lucan
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    Black Glasses ★★★★Friend Ball ★★★★Park Ball ★★★Helix Fossil ★★★Sun Stone ★★★
    this is from a few years ago, but still stings to think back on.
    back when fnaf 2 was new, I made a drawing of foxy. I spent 3 days on this art, studying foxy and their endoskeletons. I even researched real animatronics like from Chuck E Cheese's to make sure it made sense. I was super proud of it, it looked nice for how my art was at the time.
    Then the next day dad decided to force me to show someone some of my drawings. I was happy to show off Foxy.. but as soon as dad saw it.. "Eh that's stupid, ignore that." and flipped to a page where I was studying human anatomy and said my humans didn't look good. :'c luckily he doesn't call my art stupid anymore, nor does he force me to show art (he found some nsfw practice art)
     
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  4. NIC

    NIC Rarer than a shiny

    Wonny
    (Oshawott)
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    Its alright to rant, thats what this thread is here for! I know what its like to not recieve criticism, you ask people what they think and theyll just give an automatic compliment. Sometimes that can come down to how people think you might react, and might be hesitant to point out any flaws, as they aren't sure about your feelings. I know we haven't really spoken before, but ill happily give criticism when needed :)

    I completely understand, its hard when youre proud of something only for it to be shut down :( parents tend to not have the same interests or understand that well, and same with people in general. They may react like that simply due to a lack of understanding, but dont let it effect you! The person you should be concerned with is yourself, as long as youre happy with what youve made thats all that matters! :D
     
  5. Gazi

    Lilith
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    The only time I can think of was three years ago or something (I was really struggling back then with becoming more independent while still doing things the way that I felt comfortable doing them). I spent a week and a half at a retreat/conference of sorts with a bunch of other young adults. We were all put into groups of about ten. I'm not a super social person in the first place, so I probably came off as really distant and moody, but I tried really hard to get along with the others in my group. A few days in though the group leader (yet another young adult, no more qualified than any of us) pulled me aside and started lecturing me about how all the rest of them were trying to be happy and cheerful (for some reason, that was how we were always expected to be), and that my mood was bringing them down. She said she just wanted some effort from me. Not more effort, some effort, meaning she didn't think I was trying at all. After that experience, I've had a bit of a personal motto. 'Just because my best isn't good enough for you, that doesn't mean that I'm not trying'. Over the years I've come to accept that as long as I am happy with the effort I put in, then it's enough, because it's impossible for me to do any better than my best. I still get really infuriated when people look at my lack of social skills, and just assume that I'm not trying at all.
     
  6. NIC

    NIC Rarer than a shiny

    Wonny
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    I've had similar problems myself, and i know how frustrating that can be. Some people need to accept that not everyone can be 100% extroverted, but that doesnt mean that their efforts should be ignored. You tried your best and that's what matters. :)
     
  7. flareon71

    Legegg
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    I guess you could call me somewhat of an author. I suppose fanfiction typing counts, which I'm currently still doing and all that. Been doing this for about more than two years, ups and downs and all that.

    My parents don't give a darn. At all. I've already told em about how I have an audience out there who reads my stuff and sends me reviews, even if it's just to tell me they enjoyed what I make and whatnot. They just dismiss it as a waste of time and think I'm just doing it for myself, therefore, being unproductive. And in a way, I am doing this for myself. Typing feels like its own act of productivity that gives me something to do with an output that feels gratifying to me. They don't really see that at all.

    I play video games too. Tried to make myself quite avid with the ones I have. Thing is, my pride is left to me, since my parents were the type of people who didn't exactly grow up the wealthiest. Didn't appreciate this new fangled technology change very much, and so I can't really share my personal gaming feats with them. I remember finally beating HG's Elite Four being a huge accomplishment of my childhood, but they thought nothing of it.

    Basically, my parents really aren't fond of the time I spend on the things that I enjoy. Do I feel like a disappointment to them? Well, when they describe my quest to improve my writing work as "just pushing buttons all day" then I definitely feel like they've lost all semblance of my worth. Self depreciation instincts are leaving me obligated to believe how right they are.

    For all I know they could be right about all that. Whenever something arises they seem dead set on shutting down any means at doing what I do. It's like they're biased towards me, even if I'm the best performing academically out of all my siblings. I guess I'll just hang in there?
     
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  8. Dawn

    Dawn La vie est drôle

    Cresselia
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    Sometimes, I suppose. This may sound selfish and self-centered, but I only ever do things for myself unless I am specifically asked to do something by someone else. One thing I have learned through painful experience - as both the giver and the receiver - is that people do not owe you gratitude or appreciation for the things that you do, and to expect anything for a good deed is both falsely entitled and defeats the point of doing the deed in the first place, because it ceases to be altruistic the second you want something in return and becomes an exchange; one people did not ask for, and are not obligated to honour.

    Doing things for other people for what you imagine is their own sake is often an exercise in futility that can leave you feeling extremely disappointed and unappreciated for the effort you put into things, and feeling that way only serves to highlight that it was for yourself anyway, because you wouldn't feel this way if it was for someone else and not just for the thanks you'd get for doing it. So. Best to let your own satisfaction be the primary driving goal, unless you're asked to do something by someone else. But that's a completely different scenario...or it should be, if the person asking you has even an iota of decency. But I digress.

    This was me a lot in school. I was basically cast aside once my brother was born - or it certainly felt that way - and I strived my hardest to do my best at school so I would please my mother in particular. After a while she was no longer impressed with my consistently high marks; it became an expectation and a given that I would perform well. The work I was putting in for her went completely unappreciated. Once I finished Secondary School I stopped caring about what she wanted and started focusing on what I wanted and doing things for me, but before that it was extremely difficult sometimes.

    But most people don't realise just how much effort I put into the things I do, and that's fine - I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me, and as long as I can appreciate my hard work, that's really all I need. It's nice to be appreciated, and noticed, and even thanked, but it's not essential. If others benefit from my hard work, that's absolutely fine with me. But pleasing others is not my primary motivator, and in most things I do it isn't a factor. People will invariably please themselves, after all.
     
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  9. Momo Kiseki

    Riolu
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    I suppose I don't feel like I go unappreciated most of the time...though there are some instances.
    Because of my childish personality people don't take things I say seriously or don't consider my ideas valid. And when they hear my ideas and actually use it I don't always get appreciated for it.

    I think sometimes people don't appreciate how much effort I put into making others happy as well.
    I go as far as to pretend that I'm happy and keep how horrible I feel inside for others. I don't feel like I exactly need to be appreciated but sometimes a little recognition goes a long way.
    Jeez, now I'm rambling. =)
     
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  10. Ethereal

    Ethereal LV Lurker

    Luigia
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    When it comes to art I don't feel unappreciated at all. If anything I think my art is over-appreciated, both online and in real life. I'm really not as good as most people think I am, and when ever people mention my art as being almost picassso-tier I get embarrassed. I mean have you seen what some of the folks on deviantart are doing? It's leagues above my stuff.
     
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  11. NIC

    NIC Rarer than a shiny

    Wonny
    (Oshawott)
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    This is gonna be a long reply sorry ahaha.
    Yeah, just hang in there. What you said is true, your parents (and a lot of parents) tend to not understand their childrens hobbies all that well, as they probably had it a lot different when they were your age. Sometimes its okay to accept that they may not always understand, as long as youre satisfied with your own achievememts :)

    I think its more about the commitment to doing something for someone. I mean people in jobs dont often get a thanks from their bosses, but im sure if you asked them, they would say that a little gratitude can go a long way. Its always good to do things for yourself, you are your number 1 prioity in life after all, but sometimes its nice to be acknowledged for what you do for someone, even if it seems selfish to expect recognition. And tbh its just polite to thank someone for doing something for you haha.

    Ramble away my friend :) I can understand where you're coming from, being younger/more childish than others around you tends to leave your voice unheard. As far as sharing ideas go its always nice to have at least a little bit of recognition, having someone acknowledge that you came up with the idea is a nice feeling.

    Well ill have to say kind of the same thing i said to moonstruck. Sometimes that can come down to people not really knowing how to react without offending you, as theyre unsure about your feelings. A lot of people dont see their own art how others do, so sometimes you may feel the compliments arent warrented. In the end i suppose you just have to take the praise in your stride, but not let it put pressure on you. People aren't expecting you to have the same level of art in everg piece, so dont let all the praise turn into an expectation on yourself. I've seen it happen and it can be very stressful. :)
     
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