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We're going to have a baby

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Dawn, Dec 2, 2018.

  1. Dawn

    Dawn La vie est drôle

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    ...I always thought it very odd that people would say that, especially men. Maybe there's a "we" involved in creating the baby, but I'm pretty sure only the woman in the relationship actually HAS the baby. xD;

    Aaaaanyways. How do you feel about having children of your own? If you do plan on having kids, would you have a preference for gender? What sort of parent do you think you would be?
     
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  2. Sheep

    Sheep Supporter

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    Not currently interested. Children require immense time, effort, money, and freedom....none of which I'm willing to give up right now. I'd like to spend at least a few years alone with my significant other without us needing to worry about raising another human being. Honestly, I'd be happy enough not having kids at all, but mom keeps trying to convince me how lonely I'd be when I'm older and she's not there and I don't have any kids to help me out haha. Which I do understand, I just still feel it's too early to think about even though I'm 27 aaa. maybe when I'm 30 I'll give it another thought
     
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  3. Moonstruck-Mist

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    In actuality, as much as I would like a child, I don't think I'd ever have the time or effort for one. I can care for one, but that's really all I can do where I stand. And even as an adult, I don't really think I'd have the time to care for one myself. But if I were to care for one, gender really doesn't matter. I'm a supportive person towards everyone, most especially children. I'll support them, unless they go down a path of darkness and bad deeds.
     
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  4. Absolute Zero

    Absolute Zero The second seal

    Jeff
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    From the male perspective, we're also involved in the "having" of the baby. We care for the momma as she does the lengthy and difficult task of building the baby, we take the more physically active role of preparing for +1 in the family (setting up the baby room, since mom should take it easy), and we also share in the emotional anticipation of such a significant event in the shared life story. Technically we're only involved in Step 1 of having, but if we're positively involved in any way beyond that, we deserve to share in the "having" declaration.

    Anyway... I would like to, eventually. Every time I see a man about my age walking in the store with a child, or someone asks me if I have kids (way to make me feel old), or I play a video game that seems like it has a young target audience, I get that urge to try to help raise a kid. It's probably similar to a not-female-exclusive emotional counterpart to "my biological clock is ticking".

    Worst part is, I have friends who tell me I would make a great dad. But nobody follows that up with helping me proceed to that.
     
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    Dawn likes this.
  5. Dawn

    Dawn La vie est drôle

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    I never actually thought of it that way! I always took it quite literally for some reason. Although I think the notion that men should take a more physically active role in preparation is a bit antiquated - pregnant women aren't dolls after all; close to the end of the pregnancy when it becomes more uncomfortable and difficult I would agree with you, but prior to that not at all, although I imagine it would vary between couples - I would definitely agree that any man involved in an active and positive way should be able to make that claim...I just with there was a better way to put it that didn't sound so strange to me, haha.


    ...to answer my own question though, I don't intend to have children. I know I'm not psychologically capable of being a good parent, so even if I were financially capable - which I am not - it would be irresponsible of me to bring a child into this world, assuming that my partner wanted children. I've had idle dreams about having kids, but the reality is very rarely (if ever) anything like the fantasy, and knowing what my parents have gone through with me and my sibling has put me off children quite effectively. xD
     
  6. Wizard

    Wizard Do you feel it? The moon's power!

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    Having kids someday is a goal of mine. I'm definitely not ready within the next 4-5 years, but for sure after I'm done with college I'd be willing. Children are so wonderful, and I love them a lot. However, they are not easy to raise by any extent. They cost a lot of money, time, attention, etc. I want to be a good dad someday, so I'm preparing now. #changingdiaperswon'tbefun
     
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  7. Ethereal

    Ethereal LV Lurker

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    I don't want to have kids tbh. The thought of going through childbirth makes me anxious as hell. I have zero pain tolerance so I'd probably die trying to give birth.
     
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  8. Gazi

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    I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I haven't really been all that interested in having kids because I felt like I wouldn't make a very good mother. A lot of kids seek physical comfort, and I'm really not very good at providing that. I can, but I feel almost numb when doing so, and then I feel anxious and guilty afterwards for feeling that way. I don't want to force myself to feel uncomfortable for someone else's sake. However, I think I wouldn't mind giving parenting a try after all, but mostly just because my parents have made it very clear to me that if I'm feeling overwhelmed with taking care of the child, they would be more than happy to help out and offer relief if I need it. So the responsibility of raising a child doesn't seem as daunting as it did before.
     
  9. RadEmpoleon

    RadEmpoleon certified EPIC Gamer™ (they/them)

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    I don’t want to have a child (I’m a girl) and I would prefer adopting if I really wanted kids
     
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  10. Cherry3Fairy

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    *laughs*
    I'm actually really scared by the thought of babies... the thought of that extreme labour pain drives me crazy...
    But still, I too would like to have a baby. A baby boy tbh...
    But ofcourse, thats something happening after 8 years or so.
     
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  11. BraviaryScout

    BraviaryScout Way of the Wind

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    A close friend of mine had his son born about two weeks ago! Although I can't tell you anything from experience since I have no children (at least that I know of) I can say that he was ecstatic to be a father.

    And worried at the same time.

    Everyone looks at having children differently though. I for one would love to have kids one day, but as a loving father and husband. I do NOT want to have kids be a surprise from a one-night-stand.

    But as a father, I'd probably have a more active role than just pacing around awaiting the baby's arrival. I'd have to get all the baby equipment, babyproof our residence and be ready to have some mad skills in feeding, comforting and diaper-changing. In fact, I would probably build the crib myself since I have done woodworking on occasion from time to time. The mother and I would be a team in this, although I'd prefer her to breast-feed the baby, she's going to be immensely tired all the time, especially if the baby wakes up frequently during the night.

    Although due to my job aspirations of being airline pilot, I may not be able to hold up my end since my job will likely have me not coming home every night. I don't think that's fair to either the baby or the mother.

    Do I think I'd be a good father? Sure. I've never been one, but everybody starts somewhere right?
    As for the amount of kids and their sex? I'd like to have...well...I'd leave that up to the mother. Personal preference is 3-5, maybe something like 2 boys and 1 girl...I dunno
     
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  12. Roman

    Roman Black Belt

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    I'm not sure if I ever want to have kids. Adoption is the only option for me but I don't know how rough the future would be for me, I don't want to have a kid suffer along side me. Maybe if I get a partner, but idk
     

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