When Does a Joke Go Too Far?

I think a joke can easily go too far, especially "yo mama" jokes, which I absolutely hate. I think these jokes can go too far if the person's mother is facing a tough situation, battling some sort of illness or has passed away.

Jokes can be offensive as well when they are directed at certain people, or like the video stated, is making a joke when a certain disaster has occurred.

 

In my opinion, a joke can only go "too far" when the recipient of it has clearly shown offense/distaste to it, yet the joke-teller keeps on going. If a person who is being told a joke to isn't okay with a certain subject, it's not a good idea to tell it to them. There isn't a specific line in terms of comedy, it always depends on what the person receiving it is comfortable with.

 

I am surprised, though somewhat pleased, that he spoke primarily on communication over the Internet, whereas I was thinking of communication in person. This minimises the overlap with what I'm about to say.

It's important to note your audience and goals when trying to convey a message. But it's also important to read the signals you're being given, be they verbal or kinesic, and understand where and why you've gone too far.

Knowing your audience is very tricky. Amongst friends or acquaintances you've been around for a while, you have practice knowing who they are - but in a group of utter strangers, it becomes a different matter. We become much more cautious as we try to grow and become more comfortable around these people. Then, the humour may begin. This is an arduous process that can take a long amount of time, though.

As to what is and is not appropriate to discuss, this may vary greatly from person to person. What will generate the most reaction, however, are events that were heavily influential or traumatising to the person - and I use those words as synonyms in this case. Sometimes this can grow into (and often overlaps with) experiences or things that are seen as unacceptable and hurtful no matter where they arise. This is where the phrase "rape isn't funny" originates - because it is both of these.

Occasionally this can cross or jump over into what your friends view as unacceptable. This is a combination of expanding horizons and learning what things have happened to your friends. This also feeds into the above. However, as to what is or isn't okay, after you rule out the obvious, it comes down to trial and error - and when you get here, you are really prodding at a person's core beliefs, and their stances on various issues, real-world or otherwise. For example, I would most likely take offense at someone who believes that over-emphasis on logic is wrong, and that emotions are necessary to really experience life - for I praise rationality above most other things that exist. That isn't strictly about humour and jokes per se, but it can easily cross into them, or even crude name-calling, like 'stick-in-the-mud'.

While it's fine if you hold to these precepts and act accordingly (using myself as an example here, I view emotions as nothing but a hindrance, almost to the point of their being inherently evil, because of how thoroughly they impact or distort decision-making), if it is done for the purpose of provoking or offending a person at their expense (whether or not you care about the consequences, and whether or not humour is involved), it simply isn't acceptable. I'm not to make a joke about emotions being the root cause of problems, because I know that in some contexts they are necessary and help to ease impact of pain. Just because emotions are not needful for me does not mean that I'll mock those for whom it is or believe it to be (either-or).

I'll be watching this topic for great interest, because I feel there will be much more to be said and learned here. I feel like I may have more to say and hear here before long.

 

A joke goes to far as soon as I get involved

 

Very interesting video you got there. So from what I'm gathering from this guy, it seems the only place that a hard truth can be faced is in comedy. Perhaps our society has really devolved into this place where we fear offending people this much that we don't face the hard truths directly. If offending somebody has become one of the harshest societal sins one can commit so you better not risk it, and the only place its acceptable to mention a tough truth is through the indirect path of mockery... I'm a little saddened by this video. Or, rather, this culture we've built up. We as humans are now so sensitive to pain and incapable of taking on the direct pain so that we might fix the problem. Instead, we can address the problem through comedy, and laugh it off. Perhaps it is good that awareness is raised, but the question is, how much does it really do? Is comedy really enough to inspire people to action, or does it just change their viewpoint? Is a change in viewpoint all it takes to sway the direction culture goes on an issue?

In another direction- how far is too far. Many jokes can be made, many don't bother me, but what usually gets to me is when a joke becomes personal. If names are dropped, accusations made within the lines, involving a specific person, that's usually a red flag for me. The generic stereotype overview usually won't bother me, especially since i often hear those sarcastically, but jokes becoming personal has always stuck out to me as one of the ways to cross that line.

 

I generally and personally draw the line at death and sexual jokes. Now that I look back on that sentence, I realise that I meant both meanings of 'sexual joke', not just the 'gay/straight/bi/a' one I was going for. I don't mind caricatures, because I believe that, although not all people fit a stereotype, it might be believable that someone does.

A general rule of thumb for me is 'If I realise the horror in the joke before we've moved on, it's probably gone too far'.

 

This is extremely important. To reiterate a point made by the video performer: humor and comedy are relative to the context. Unfortunately, there really is no "sure fire" way to uncover things that are humorous to every group of people you will meet.

Something offensive to me, such as mental disorders like depression, may not be so offensive to someone else. It's also worth noting that not everything about a "touchy" subject to a person is necessarily, well, "touchy." Ethics themselves are vastly relative, and that's important to remember.

Humor and comedy are rather important, and I'm glad I got to watch that video--it tells me I'm not the only one with such thoughts.

 

its always okay as long as you say "ITS JUST A PRANK BRO" right after it


but nah the video basically sort of already said what needed to be said so not much of a discussion needed