Event Word Challenge #1 (CLOSED)

Question:

I wrote up a quick draft for this event, but even with minimal wording I managed to clock it in only at 567 words. In theory I could remove a whole paragraph and put it at 506, though I feel it would help create the story - and I'm still over the suggested limit anyway.

Would you consider raising the word limit slightly? It does not have to be by any large amount. I know I am prone to wordiness and I deliberately avoided such this time, but even then I'm over 500.
And out of curiosity, have you tried writing a prompt under these conditions (or at least very similar ones), and if so, what did your word count come in at? I'm wondering what testing you did.

 

I know you've been busy so I didn't want to rush you; I just didn't want you to ignore it either on accident. A 700-word cap should do nicely; it keeps the spirit of the event without going too far overboard.

"And that," said the dragon, "is good enough for me."

Spoiler

I always knew he was a bit of a prankster, but I couldn’t have ever imagined this.

My friend is a bit of a ‘science geek’. I’m not sure if he’s planning to pursue a job in the field, but he knows a lot about science. And I mean a lot. He reads Wikipedia when he gets bored, and he uses all of his old textbooks as paperweights. That seems like overkill to me, but he likes it.

Anyway, he invited me over to his house today – said he wanted to perform an experiment of some kind. That figures. If he’s planning something, he always needs a guinea pig, and it’s always me. I might as well be a lab rat for all of the crazy schemes he gets me to test.

“Hey!” he said as he flung open his front door, a massive grin plastered on his face. “Come on; it’s in the living room.”

I followed him in. His living room didn’t look any different than normal, save for a few balloons strewn about the room in varying colours. They seemed innocuous enough, and I could spot red, blue, yellow, green, purple... I was wondering when he would get to the experiment. I knew his birthday was coming up, but that didn’t explain—

Wait. Don’t tell me.

“I have a party game in mind,” he explained. “I want to see how people react to various smells and fragrances. Each colour of balloon is filled with a different gas, each with a different smell.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“Just pop one balloon of each colour and tell me what you smell. Here, use this pin.”

That seemed pretty obvious enough. Just pop a balloon and sniff the air. Nothing too complex. I began to fear what he had in mind, but I forced the thought away and popped a red one. Immediately my nostrils were filled with a strong but very sweet aroma. I’d smelt this before...

“Vanillin,” I said. “Same type as what they use in ice cream. Not bad.”

“I thought you’d like that one. Go on, try the others!”

I nodded, and this time I went for a blue one. A very sharp smell permeated the air, enough that I had to take a step back in surprise. I’m not sure why he picked this, but I knew what it was: “Acetone. Nail polish remover.”

He said nothing, but nodded in approval. I was intrigued to see what else he had in store. I took the pin to a yellow balloon... and recoiled violently, hands grasped over my nose in pain. I ran for an outside door as fast as possible and darted, inhaling deeply the moment I exited the room.

“What the hell!?” I exclaimed, evidently annoyed. “Who uses ammonia gas as a party favour?”

“Ooh, that won’t work well,” he murmured, disappointed but at no one in particular. “I’ll have to try something else. One of them had cadaverine...”

“That’s even worse! Can’t you just stick to perfume or something?”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

“No foul-smelling gasses at your birthday party, Vince. Think of the...reaction...it will cause.” I placed particular emphasis on that word. He was displeased, but relented, clearly placated – and amused – by my wordplay, and agreed to rethink his fragrance choices.

Hey, I need some way to get back at him, after all.

Counted at 566 words.
Colour(s): used 3 times
Balloon(s): used 5 times
Fragrance(s): used 2 times

The story is based off my past experiences of things I've smelt before! However, balloons were not involved in the real-life version.

 

"Spring Festival"

Spoiler: Story

The fragrance of spring.

The colors of life renewed.

Brendan's eyes light up as he flies with May on the backs of their beloved Pokémon, Latios and Latias. Six years have passed since their harrowing adventures to defeat Teams Magma and Aqua. Six years since the environment was nearly destroyed by the awakened Groudon and Kyogre, overpowered by the Red and Blue Orbs. Six years since the region was nearly obliterated by a meteorite, only to be saved by Rayquaza – and capturing the mysterious Deoxys, or as Brendan calls it, the “Freaky Space Spaghetti from Nowhere”, to May's amusement.

Today they enjoy a day to themselves, free from Coordinator and Champion duties for awhile, to celebrate the ending of winter and the beginning of spring. Families fly in balloons, cheering for the warm air spread by the lengthening sun. Brendan feels his heart warm as he hears May's laughter, undiminished by the normalcy of their flight, as they fly through the clouds.

Blue.

Green,

Yellow, red, purple.

So many colors Shifting, fading from one to another and back again.

May can't contain her joy as she flies through the air on her Latias, her friend Brendan beside her on his Latios and nothing between them but the wingspan of their Pokémon. She glances over and takes in the rich brown color of Brendan's eyes shining with excitement and they fly away from the balloons and toward the rich fields of the Berry Master's farm.

Blue.

Green.

Yellow, red, purple.

Tall plants. Short plants. Berries of various shapes and sizes.

Bitter. Sweet. Sour. Dry. Spicy. A cornucopia of colors and tastes.

Brendan sets down a large picnic basket as May spreads the blanket. Filled with various foods, the basket is opened up and its contents removed by the two older teenagers. Qualot jam and Miltank butter are spread onto slices of bread and eaten in contentment, washed down by chilled cups of Lemonade. Soon, the food is polished off and the two sit next to each other, looking up at the sky as Latios and Latias play in the fragrant spring air.

“Brendan, today was a lot of fun. I'm glad we were able to get away,” May says in her soft, melodic voice, tempered by time and experience but still filled with her childlike wonder.

“Me too, May,” Brendan replies, his voice a deep well of crisp, clear water. “I need to thank Steven for filling in for me. Ever since he hit it off with the Sinnoh Region Champion, Cynthia, I hardly ever see him at the League.” Unknown to May, Brendan nervously fiddles with a small object in one of his hands, though his voice does not betray his nerves.

May looks over at Brendan and kisses his cheek. “We don't schedule Contests today, so I was lucky to have a free day already. You picked such an awesome spot for the picnic, too. I love it!” She lays her head on his shoulder and sighs happily.

Brendan smiles and kisses May on her head. “I thought this would be the perfect place.” Surprising May, he stands up and draws her up to him. “May, these past six years have been awesome. We've had a lot of good times and a lot of arguments, but no matter what we were always together. We never gave up, not matter how hard life got – though, to be fair, most of what we've done can't compare to facing down Legendary Pokémon, right?” They both chuckle at the memory, the fear tempered by time. “I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I've realized something.” He then drops to one knee and holds a box in his hands. “I love you, and I want to continue experiencing life with you. It may be a ways off, but will you marry me?” May gasps, her happiness exploding like a popped balloon as she tackles him and kisses him.

Redbluegreenyelloworangepurple.

A rainbow.

All the colors in the world could not describe Brendan's vision as May's mouth met his, the sheer joy shared between them lighting up the world far brighter than Groudon's harsh sunlight.

A balloon, filled with the joy of life.

I wanted to really stretch myself with this. Hit exactly 700 words in the end (had to do a lot of shortening, as I was at about 900 with the first draft and needed to cut some bits out to get it to fit). Hopefully you like it, even if it doesn't win.