Repost of: Strytho: My Life with Tourette Syndrome

I will be reposting my old blog over the next few days with all of the original content and the comments (I saved it!) I may make comments about things and add to it here and there but I figured that this should be reposted.

 

So starting today I'm going to be reposting up to 2 entries per day. I may leave some commentary on it but for the most part these shall be put back in as close to as they orignially were as possible.


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Introductions
Posted by Strytho, 09 August 2016 · 82 views

Introductions hello
Hello everyone, You may know me as Strytho on LV. I am here to talk about something that has effected me my entire life and is both the thing I would love to lose but at the same time the thing that is responsible for who I am as a person. For years I have lugged around my "constant companion" everywhere and have learned to deal with it and how to use it to help others. This disorder as some may call it has often made people think differently of me and has gotten 2 responses: sympathy and harassment. Today I have decided to open up about it in hopes of educating the community about it and letting people know that I have a disorder and not the other way around. I can't let it win or else I wouldn't have a life and I hope to inspire others to fight back against their inner demons as well. Now you may be asking, "What the heck is he talking about? What could be so bad that he uses this coded language to talk about it?" Ladies and gentlemen the million zenny answer: I have Tourrette's Syndrome. This disorder has been with me since I was a toddler and has shaped me in ways both good and bad.

Now for my first entry I'd like to lay some framework down. I will be making multiple posts a week. One of which will be a story delving into my history and the rest will be summaries of day to day situations all from my perspective. Next, this will last until about January 15. Finally I will try to keep this at PG13 but I will write this a freeformed and flow of consciousness so don't be surprised about bad spelling and grammar.

Now that that's out of the way, let me give you some information about Tourrette's Syndrome. I was diagnosed at 3 1/2 which is about the earliest one can be diagnosed. There are usually several developemental delays associated with the disorder including various milestones such as walking, talking and potty training in more severe cases. The disorder is a neurological disorder meaning that it effects the brain. It is believed to be mainly caused by brain chemical imbalances in the brain that can range in severity from section to section. The main two chemicals are the neurotransmitters dopamine and seratonin which regulate mood and emotions amongst other things. The disorder is different from person to person, so different that if you know one person with it, you know only one person with tourrette's. Insomnia and depression go hand in hand with tourette's and the individual usually has other disorders associated with it as well such as ADD, ADHD, and Bipolar disorder. Boys are 3 times more likely to have it than girls which is why some scientists think that it may be partially sex linked (As in on the X chromosome). Tourrette's is hereditary and is pretty much proven to be genetic at this point. And finally CURSING is not part of the disorder. This comes from a separate disorder called corpellalia. Corp (as I call it for short) does not reflect the person's true personallity, it comes from an impulse to in some way speak something that is socially unacceptable and rarely effects people with tourrette's. And (this time) finally people with tourette's often have low impulse control (basically our filters can be vary weak therefore we come off as very blunt to many people as you may have seen from my comments on the forums).

For final notes, this blog is in no way meant to be a guide on how to live or deal with tourrette's, it is just my view point on things put out there for educational purposes and to start a dialogue in order to further awareness. AKA I want people to talk about it so that it can help people and help break down barriers. I personally feel a barrier with everyone here because I don't want to offend everyone because I can be very socially awkward and week. This is meant to help me as much as everyone else and to help me understand everyone by starting a dialogue. Thank you everyone for your time and I hope to make my first post within the next couple of days.


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The basic point of this entry was to establish ground rules, lay out the ground work, and announce that I was doing this. There wasn't alot to this entry for me but others got something out of it so hey, it was a good place to start. It is of note that the groundwork wasn't completely followed and although the blog lasted to about where it should have, there were far fewer entries than I would've hoped. This is the first blog I ever did so it was quite the learning experience. As time goes on I may make addition entries to this but if I do they will not be on the basis that I layed out for the origninal life of this blog. It's up in the air for me at this point but it is something for me to think about once I get all of the original entries back up. I hope you enjoy this commentary and I hope to give you whatever insight I can in later reposts. Until then, thanks for reading.

 

Alright so here is the second entry. This was the first one with comments and they are reposed below the entry.

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What annoys me...
Posted by Strytho, 11 August 2016 · 190 views

what annoys me
This is probably going to be repeated until my hands bleed but I don't care! I hate it when people make comments about people with tourrette's in some relation to cursing. I was at lunch today sitting with a couple of co-workers, my supervisor, a worker from the deli who served in the middle east, and his girlfriend who works at self check out (I work at walmart). We get to talking about various things and oddly enough we get to talking about tourrette's. The deli guy goes on a tangent about how funny it would be to see a guy with tourrette's standing in a line all of a sudden cursing up a storm. I of course made my currection to him but I know he didn't care and thinhat he's talking about. Now you may be thinking "Tim, it was just an ignorant comment, why are you getting bent out of shape over this?" The answer is simple, comments and misinformation like that makes life harder for me and everyone else with tourrette's. According to the americans with disabilities act I can't be discriminated against for my disorder. Gues what people, there are ways around that law and those stereotypes drive people to do so. Many people think it's funny but it isn't. People get dennied jobs because of that and they usually make up a cockamamy story so they can get around the law. The longer this continues, the harder it is for people to get opportunities. If you have corprolalia or they suspect it for whatever reason, people can and WILL keep you from getting better opportunities. Imagine if you will that you were sitting in a collage classroom with an old coot of a professor and he wants you to introduce yourself and tell an interesting fact about yourself. You get nervous and go blank so you tell them that you have tourrette's. What does the guy say in front of 40 other adults? "Are you gonna curse?" And then you have to go to the vice president of the university to get any sort of apology and to sort the whole thing out. This happened to me and believe me it was not fun. This is why I get upset about people who talk about tourrette's like they know something but actually don't. *sigh* I know I'm complaining it's just... this kinda stuff grinds my gears because it hurts me and it makes my life harder. This is Strytho and I'll see you in a couple of days for another entry. Have a good one.



Eclipse
Aug 11 2016 04:50 PM
It's a little odd because something like this popped into mind as I was reading your first entry. The thought went a little like this:

"People with Tourette's syndrome are usually popularised as being rather prone to bouts of frustration accompanied by swearing. That probably means that the truth is that it most likely translates to a below-average tolerance or patience level."

Learning that now, only that thought was 25% correct at most, and that it only has to deal with small physical habits. I actually didn't know the low mental filter bit had its own word ('coprolalia'), but it makes sense.

I have an odd intrigue with mental illnesses that seems to come and go, and for the same reason: the causes and effects aren't very straightforward, and the same outward effect could come from a wide variety of internal causes, which may not be similar at all. That intrigues me because of where paths can lead, but frustrates me because said path is almost never straightforward.

...I don't always have stuff to say on blog entries but I love to observe them...so you'll probably be seeing a bit more of me sporadically.

Strytho
Aug 12 2016 12:03 AM
Eclipse, on 11 Aug 2016 - 4:50 PM, said:
It's a little odd because something like this popped into mind as I was reading your first entry. The thought went a little like this:

"People with Tourette's syndrome are usually popularised as being rather prone to bouts of frustration accompanied by swearing. That probably means that the truth is that it most likely translates to a below-average tolerance or patience level."

Learning that now, only that thought was 25% correct at most, and that it only has to deal with small physical habits. I actually didn't know the low mental filter bit had its own word ('coprolalia'), but it makes sense.

I have an odd intrigue with mental illnesses that seems to come and go, and for the same reason: the causes and effects aren't very straightforward, and the same outward effect could come from a wide variety of internal causes, which may not be similar at all. That intrigues me because of where paths can lead, but frustrates me because said path is almost never straightforward.

...I don't always have stuff to say on blog entries but I love to observe them...so you'll probably be seeing a bit more of me sporadically.
Yeah, we can get frustrated easily and our "ticks" are brought on mainly by stress. It sucks because ticks can actually get worse when you are sick and run down. I'm probably going to be covering ticks in my next entry. There are a lot of components to tourrette's and not everyone has the same set or sub sets of components. Just remember that the internet has a good track record of being wrong and a specialist is the best person to get info from. Also if anyone is curious, check out the TSA website (Tourrette syndrom association), it has a good deal of information and has been helpful to me in the past.


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This was the first entry I got any comments on and they came from our beloved @[member="Eclipse"]

This entry was basically me venting and trying to get some info out there to start off. At the time, my style for the blog was still a work in progress so I bounced around between different things before I somewhat settled into what you will see in later entries. Now, you will be seeing more of @[member="Eclipse"] in this and they were very helpful in writing this and just plain having someone to talk to and bounce idea off of. I honestly don't even remember interacting with them before this and honestly, it was the start of a good friendship and camaraderie that I very much value. Eclipse, if you see this, just know that YOU made me happy to do this.

Until next time guys!

 

This entry is about Tics, one of the primary features of TS as it is known as a tic disorder. I did my best to explain it and while I am satisfied to a point I think I can add more clarification at the end.

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Of "Ticks" and Qustions
Posted by Strytho, 16 August 2016 · 87 views

Wow, time for entry number 2. Before I get started, there is a little tidbit that I thought of that might make a big difference in the rest of the blog. This is basically the difference between mental illness and a disorder.

"Think of the brain as a computer. Mental illness is like a problem with the programming, there is an error with the code or something is wrong with the data. A disorder is a mechanical problem, kinda like a part is physically missing or something is physically broken. The program can still perform with broken parts, but the parts cannot work with broken programming."

See the difference. This is a concept that I thought about awhile ago and thought might be relevant.

Now onto the entry. Today we will talk about the main thing for tourrette's and what it is know for, "ticks". No I'm not talking about those blood sucking lawyers... I mean blood sucking bugs that bite you. A tick is typically a motor function or movement that a patient carries out on impulse and cannot control. Let me explain this further. It Can be controlled, as in delayed or redirected, however a tick is like a bad itcxh that you eventually have to scratch. Do to this ticks are considered as "involuntary movements or actions" (movement actions that the patient has no control over). Tick vary from person to person and vary in complexity as well. For example, you have simple motor ticks such as tapping your feet, vocal tacks such as humming or making noises, touch ticks where you just HAVE to touch that wall four times before you move on, or complex ticks like jumping over things and pacing around a room. Some ticks fit into multiple categories but they all stem from the same thing, a needy urge to do something. I've had all of those ticks and they come and go. I've had a tick the whole school year leave for the summer only to come back the next school year. I've had ticks pop up and completelly go away at random. No one knows why this happens but it just does. I ran into a lot of problems with the touch tick and I still have the pacing tick to this day. Ticks are always brough on by stress and that same stress can heighten the duration and severity of those ticks. This is why most patients have a hard time outside of their homes but calm down once they get home. What is worse is that sometimes you have to hold it in until you get home then unleash the full force once you get home and this WILL leave the person very agitated. Many of us have tells for when we are like this. For example, when my fingers are on my thighs or hips, that means that I am agitated and you should stay away from me.

There are ways to relieve ticks. For example, I walk so much at work that my pacing tick only shows up on my days off. Most patients have outlets and after stress we REALLY need those outlets. Ticks make it rough as a child because some kids are jerks and will torment you about it. Childhood with tourrette's is a living hell and I can attest to that first hand. I'm going to keep coming back to this post for those of you who have any questions or would like to hear a few stories. Just remember that some stories will be harder for me to share than others.


Aug 17 2016 105 PM
I've one question for right now, something that jumped out at me rather quickly:

Quote
"Think of the brain as a computer. Mental illness is like a problem with the programming, there is an error with the code or something is wrong with the data. A disorder is a mechanical problem, kinda like a part is physically missing or something is physically broken. The program can still perform with broken parts, but the parts cannot work with broken programming."

That analogy makes perfect sense to me, but what I want to know is: what's the difference in how these things manifest? How different will a mental illness 'look' from a disorder? Based on how you described tics, that sounds like it fits into a 'mental illness', because a tic sounds like an involuntary action, and that's something I'd expect from a 'line of code'.

But I could be totally wrong, which is why I'm asking, so I know how to visualise this analogy better.

Strytho
Aug 17 2016 11:03 PM
0 warning points
Eclipse, on 17 Aug 2016 - 105 PM, said:
I've one question for right now, something that jumped out at me rather quickly:


"That analogy makes perfect sense to me, but what I want to know is: what's the difference in how these things manifest? How different will a mental illness 'look' from a disorder? Based on how you described tics, that sounds like it fits into a 'mental illness', because a tic sounds like an involuntary action, and that's something I'd expect from a 'line of code'.

But I could be totally wrong, which is why I'm asking, so I know how to visualise this analogy better."

I've always seen as ticks as more mechanical in nature because they more of a manifestation. All tics require the use of muscle and not just the nervous system. Tic have more to due with a lack of urge control and less to due with the state of the mind in some ways. You just perform the tick, you rarely have to think about it because it passes through so few filters. I admit it is hard for even me to describe and I just had a mild bout 5 minutes ago (just got home from work). I know that many mental health disorders have to do with the mind not funtioning properly in some ways but the thing is that ticks fire off no matter what state the mind is in, they don't relly on that to happen. I know this is kinda confusing. Let me ask you this: Do you need to think to pick up a pencil? probably not, ticks are the same way. As long as I know how to do it it happens. Now would you neede to think to drive a car or operate machinery? Yeah, that would require more thought. You need to "read the program" or think in order to do that. So if your arm got broken it would take more thought to write but you could do it with the opposite hand. What if you arm was fine but you didn't know how to write at all? In many cases that's what it all has fallen down to from my experience. Hopefully that helps.


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Okay so keep the above in mind when reading this. Tics don't go through the normal filters in the brain, in fact they bipass most of them. When most of us act, we think about the action first before doing it. It the signal passes through a sort of filter before being sent to other parts of the brain and then finally we take the action. Tics don't do that. When the signal for a tic fires off, it goes straight to the other parts of the brain, particularly the frontal lobe. When this happens, it creates a stronger urge to do the action which takes away much of the persons ability to control and supress the action. So essentially the tic would be executed much more quickly and rapidly than normally and requires more attention, focus, and energy to hold back because it bypassed the filter that would normally do that for that person. The signal will eventually be passed because it is a strong one because again, the filter failed to knock it down a peg or two. Now the longer it gets forced to stall, the stronger the signal gets until finally it is too much for the person to hold. Kinda like holding up a wall by hand in order to stop the flow of water, eventually the water will spill over and win out.

So why does this matter? It ultimately means that the tics cannot truly be controlled. In some cases the tic can be relieved by "redirecting the flow of water" or doing another tic in its place. This doesn't work all the time or for everyone but it can help stall for longer periods of time until the tic can be released in a more appropriate setting. Younger kids have more difficulty doing this because they usually lack the focus and attention span while older kids can do it but may get embarassed, especially during mid teens.

So how does this relate to the analogy? The tics occuring in the first place is due to a mechanical failure (the brain's filter not functioning properly). The brain still functions and can still function properly, it just needs some adjustments to work around the defect. The diorder is causing the defect but again a disorder is more of an expression or phenotype rather that a problem in coding or a geno type. Now hold that thought for a second.

Mental illness is a break down in code because the brain functions in specific ways. Everyone here has a brain that works by a certain set of rules, guideline, and architypes by default. What happens if these rules don't get followed and the code breaks down? If the parts don't follow the program or the program is faulty, then they do not know how to function and mess up. If A computer is programmed wrong, having the best parts in the world won't fix the problem. You have to go in and rewrite at least parts of the code. So what is the code for the brain? Part of it is in our DNA. The DNA is the genotype or code and that determines the phenotype or expression of code. If the genotype for the parts is correct, or the dna for parts of the brain is good, then it will form normally. What happens if the parts for the coding is bad? Then THAT throws off the phenotype for the good and messes it up. Now at this point I'm about to get into parts that I'm not an expert on this is where the explaination of the analogy stops. Just thought that I'd add this in for more clarification.

Now that that is done, feel free to makes posts because even though this is a reposting of my blog, any feedback and comments are welcome.

 

This one is an entry that I added to span a gap. Not much too this one but it still sets a tone.

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PSA with Strytho
Posted by Strytho, 20 August 2016 · 86 views

This is just kinda filler at the moment in terms of not having a particular topic this time. I do have some stuff to say but like I said it has no particular theme.

When I was younger I got picked on a lot because socially I was very undeveloped and of course my disorder. I was harrassed to the brink of suicide once in 5th grade and again in 9th grade. Before anyone get's any ideas, this is all being told for a reason. Last week was the anniversary of my second near attempt at suicide. I had a plan mapped out and I was ready to do it but fortunatelly my family got me help and I am still here. Mental health issues can happen to anyone. We all need help and it doesn't make us weak for needing it or even asking for it. Bullying is a big problem world wide and I am the way I am now in part because I was very heavily on the receiving end of it. I was physically, verbally, and sexually harassed from the start of kindergarten until my sophmore year of highschool and let me tell you that I'm still undoing the damage to this day and I'm almost 27. Whoever said that words can't hurt you was a gosh darned liar because words can carve wounds deeper than any knife. We don't have to all like each other but we still NEED to be able to coexist with one another. Being nice to someone you loathe doesn't make you fake, it makes you the better person. This isn't an easy story for me to tell right now but I just felt that now is when I needed to tell it. We all have our moments of weakness and it is from those moments that we gain our greatest strengths. To everyone here, be who YOU want YOU to be. Don't anyone tell you that you need to change because only you can determine that. No one is perfect but if you want to be something, you have the right to choose that. I don't care about your sexual orientation, I don't care about what you look like, I don't care where you're from. Everyone has the right to be who they chose to be and how they choose to be. I can't tell you what's right or wrong, you need to decide that for yourself. Everyone here is a good person as far as I'm concerned. And for this reason I would rather not ever see anyone here putting someone down. Don't let bullying happen, if you see it, take the steps necessary to end it and take it the propper people.

I guess this was my yearly anti bullying tirade, sorry but I just needed to get that off my chest.

"We face eachother from different sides
the anger burns can't remember why
it's kinda crazy to cause such pain
our foolish pride makes us hate this way
we watch our worlds fall apart
tell me what good is winnin'
when we lose our heart?

Brother, my brother
tell me what're we fightin' for?
Isn't life worth so much more?
We should love one another
oh can't we just pretend
this fight never began?
Tell me why?
Brother, my brother
Yeah, we can try
Brother my brother"

(Brother My Brother - Blessid Union of Souls, Pokémon The First Movie clone fight scene)
https://youtu.be/FcJNS8jpQXU



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Around this time I started to remember some stuff from my past and I decided to share it. Despite how my past can be a tough subject, sharing it has become much easier due to the fact that I have gotten over some of it and moved on and that I have found understanding people to help me through it as time has gone by. I will always remember my past and look on it with a mixed but dimmed light. I used this entry mainly to step on my soap box and put out an anti bullying message. While many bullied kids don't become suicidal, many do and whether or not they get pushed that far it still has negative effects that can follow them for the rest of their lives. It can make you paranoid and distrustful of people by default and that is not a good way to live. I knoe because I've been there.

Not much to this onr that I need to comment on, but I might come back to this one later.


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In this post, I wanted to cover genetics and ended up going into a more... personal discussion.

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Genetics
Posted by Strytho, 27 August 2016 · 125 views

genetics
So today I've decided to talk about the genetic component of TS. TS is hereditary meaning that it is passes from generation to generation. This has been the main reason why I've been iffy about wanting kids because I don't want to pass this on. The thing is TS can skip generations entirely only to show up again later. From what I can tell it came from my mom's side of the family seeing all the issues her side has. As I've stated earlier, TS is more likely in boys than girls which has led scientists to believe that it might be linked in some way to the X chromosome. Scientists have found markers for TS on mulotiple Chromosomes so it is really hard to see what genes may be the cause but it is being looked into.

Now with that out of the way here is one thing that everyone needs to consider. As a population of a species increases the genetic of that population become more diverse. With greater diversity comes greater problems with the genetics. More mutations pop up in the population as time goes on. Some mutations become useful adaptation and the population benefits, while others hurt individuals in the population. Thousands of years ago, these mutations would have been weeded out because these individuals would not have made it far enough to pass on their genes but today that barrier is gone for our population. We are our only selection pressure, which means that we determine who gets to pass on their genes not nature. I'm not saying this is a bad thing but it does mean that many mutations won't work their way out of the gene pool as quickly which means that people with rare disorders will become more common. So this means that disorders can suddenly appear in family lines where they have no history. Simply put, put the right two people together and bam, you get a child with a disorder. Not trying to bum anyone out but it's just something to think about. Now do you see why I'm worried about ever having biological children?

Now the next couple of entries are probably going to be different than the last few until I get more material to put out.

Feel free to leave a comment on my posts guys. Also let me know if anyone is actually learning something from this.



Eclipse
Aug 27 2016 08:43 AM
This here is an entry where "I knew this; I just never bothered to think about it". It's true that for humans, true natural selection no longer exists. The only natural selection we have left is behavioural - and it takes the form of being made fun of by the Internet by our horrible spelling and grammar.

That said, this here is probably my third(?) reason for never having children, so it makes me a bit more confident (even though neither of my family lines have had any odd history). Though I suppose one thing I'd like to see or meet is a couple who knew their children might be at risk for a disorder of some sort, but decided to have a child anyway. I know they exist, and are plentiful - I just have never met one.

Though, what did you mean when you said the next couple entries will be different until you get more material? Does this mean you'll be switching tracks slightly, or that what you say may not be as heavy, or something else entirely?

With respect,
Eclipse

8542Madness
Aug 27 2016 12:17 PM
Gotta say, I'm really saddened at how short and rather uninformative this is. There's so much interesting information to talk about in regards to genetics, mutations, and disabilities, and you didn't even skim the surface of the vast amount of fascinating science available. This is about as informative and interesting as a middle school biology class.

Reborn
Aug 27 2016 02:09 PM
8542Madness, on 27 Aug 2016 - 12:17 PM, said:
Gotta say, I'm really saddened at how short and rather uninformative this is. There's so much interesting information to talk about in regards to genetics, mutations, and disabilities, and you didn't even skim the surface of the vast amount of fascinating science available. This is about as informative and interesting as a middle school biology class.

I kind of feel like you've missed the point of this entry. Yes genetics is an incredibly interesting topic and the entry is lacking the science behind how these disorders are passed on, but he's touched on a fairly interesting point that a large proportion of the population should at least consider. At the end of the day all a parent wants is their child to have a happy and healthy life, and if there is a higher likelihood of their child having some kind of genetic disorder that would affect their day to day life it's at least something they should at least take in to consideration before breeding.

As Eclipse mentioned, there are parents who knew there was a higher likelihood for their child to have a disorder and still decide to have a child. It would be interesting to see whether they took that risk in to consideration, a long with other reasons one may choose to or to not have a child.

I tend to think about whether or not I want to have kids quite often, since I always kind of thought that's what people do. But after thinking about it there just seem to be a seemingly infinite list of reasons why it would be a bad idea with few reasons otherwise. I'd constantly be in my head for not being able to provide a better life for my child(ren), especially if they inherited particularly bad traits from me.

But yeah, while this entry wasn't particularly informative it is something that people should be thinking about and we could possibly live in a healthier society if everybody did. At least that's what I took from it

Princess Victoria
Aug 28 2016 08:07 AM
It does look like it is X-linked and it seems to be phenotypically expressed in a recessive fashion. In order for the male to get TS, the mom needs to be a heterozygote (mothers pass on their X chromosome to their sons).

Princess Victoria
Aug 28 2016 08:09 AM
8542Madness, on 27 Aug 2016 - 12:17 PM, said:
Gotta say, I'm really saddened at how short and rather uninformative this is. There's so much interesting information to talk about in regards to genetics, mutations, and disabilities, and you didn't even skim the surface of the vast amount of fascinating science available. This is about as informative and interesting as a middle school biology class.

Genetics is such a beautiful topic Nyaa~

When you have gene-gene interactions, gene expression modification and all sorts of things, I can't help but wonder what is the driving force behind life Nyaa~!

Strytho
Aug 31 2016 11:12 PM

8542Madness, on 27 Aug 2016 - 12:17 PM, said:
Gotta say, I'm really saddened at how short and rather uninformative this is. There's so much interesting information to talk about in regards to genetics, mutations, and disabilities, and you didn't even skim the surface of the vast amount of fascinating science available. This is about as informative and interesting as a middle school biology class.
yeah, I had a rough day that day, sorry. I'm getting something bigger together for later tonight. Hope this one will turn out way better.

Strytho
Aug 31 2016 11:19 PM
Eclipse, on 27 Aug 2016 - 08:43 AM, said:
This here is an entry where "I knew this; I just never bothered to think about it". It's true that for humans, true natural selection no longer exists. The only natural selection we have left is behavioural - and it takes the form of being made fun of by the Internet by our horrible spelling and grammar.

That said, this here is probably my third(?) reason for never having children, so it makes me a bit more confident (even though neither of my family lines have had any odd history). Though I suppose one thing I'd like to see or meet is a couple who knew their children might be at risk for a disorder of some sort, but decided to have a child anyway. I know they exist, and are plentiful - I just have never met one.

Though, what did you mean when you said the next couple entries will be different until you get more material? Does this mean you'll be switching tracks slightly, or that what you say may not be as heavy, or something else entirely?

With respect,
Eclipse
Basically,m I'm trying to get certain basics out of the way so that I can delve deeper. Most of the people I met need to be "prepped" or informed before I can go much deeper into the topic. Everything I do in this will relate to me and tourette's in particular, but before I can get very far in I have to get everyone on the same page. In other words I want everyone to know what I'm talking about. You guys seem to understand but I want to make sure that anyone else can look at past entries and then put 2 and 2 together. So I am building up to something. I am going to start shifting a bit more in the future but the next entry needs to be something of my experience backed with data. I understand that many people want this to be really informative in terms of raw data but I feel that data needs to be blended with experience in order to get the real picture.

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This post was basically to lay the ground work for more complex things that I had thought about and wanted to cover. Basically I just wanted to explain the genetic component of TS and how it personally effects me so there really wasn't much else to this.

 

Here is the next entry guys! Now for this I was trying to lay down my path again, after more thought of course. I was also trying to tell myself what I needed to do and where I needed to go with the blog. I never fully went in that direction but this was my first blog so it is a great point to look back at and say, "Okay, this is what I need to do/look out for for next time."

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What am I leading up to?
Posted by Strytho, 31 August 2016 · 76 views

Now I have been reading some of the contents and many of you may be asking what are all of my non sequitur entries about. Part of it is to show you how my mind works. People with TS can sometimes jump from subject to subject in thought and speech with little or no transition at all in an instant. This is called non sequitur thinking and anyone can have it but it can be really bad with TS. I'm presenting these entries this way in order to give everyone a better picture of just how my mind works and is organized. Remember the guy in south park from the chaos theory bit from the episode canceled. Look at how that guys talks and you have a good idea of how my thoughts organize themselves at times. This is important because I feel that in order for you guys to get a true picture, you need to see and experience things as close to how I do as possible. I know that the pg-13 takes a little bit away from that (yeah, big surprise I curse every day out of a bad habbit but I do have a good enough of a filter to stop when I need to or feel like it), but the point is to give a more... authentic? experience.

Now before I get to the next entry I feel that this website might give you some better facts. I have used this website to make multiple presentations in the past and it is still a wonderful resource to this very day. I would advise reading this before I go any further in here.

https://www.tourette.org/

This is the website for the TSA of America (Tourrettes Syndrome Association). This will give many answers and can answer a few things better than I can at time due to how well organized it is.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/Patient-Caregiver-Education/Fact-Sheets/Tourette-Syndrome-Fact-Sheet

Another useful link that will have some overlap, but provides a second source and helps to back up the TSA in terms of validity.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tourette-syndrome/home/ovc-20163623

this 3rd and final link has some stuff in it that is controversial to me but it is imporatant to take note of. If I'm going to give one side, I have to give both to give a better picture right?

So I know this entry involve A LOT of reading but I feel that this will be way better in the long run. Noe my goal is to post another entry tomorrow and I will be using material from these three websites to discuss it and give it some context. Hopefully this will be better than all the entries thus far.


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This entry was about expanding on tics, explaining nuerotransmitters a bit better, and giving more of a frame of reference about how I view and feel about myself and the world around me.

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What am I/ More about Tics!
Posted by Strytho, 01 September 2016 · 93 views

I'm flipping the switch today and doing something I wasn't originally planning. This is a consideration of how my experiences have effected me.

When I was a toddler I was diagnosed with TS (age 3 1/2) I started on medication at age 7 and was immediately told by my mother what I had and that it made me different. My mother being mentally ill herself was trying to explain to me that I was different but I should not let it stop me but was unable to articulate that properly. I was picked on, tormented, harassed, bullied, etc. from the start of kindergarten until I left high school and sometimes after that on occasion. I would eventually lash out after being pushed so far and many times I was punished but the offenders were not. Many of the parents chalked it up to kids will be kids and boys will be boys. Come on guys, do your kids really need to make others feal like dirt in order to be kids? The answer is #3!! no! But despite how it all ended and what paths I ended being, I wouldn't change any of it. Yes, I've been to Hell and back many times and yes I have suffered many times over due to the cruelty of others. Yet the truth remains that I am the good person I am because I went through that. Was I vengeful at one time? Of course, I wouldn't be human if I hadn't. Yet what separates me from them is the fact that I realized my mistake and moved on. I am more than just the sum of my parts and experiences however without the experiences that parts would mean nothing or just not be of the same context. Part of me is afraid to think about who I would be if I never had TS and/or never went through what I did.

The truth is I did some good due to what I went through. I have helped many of my friends and made many good ones because I was able to empathize with them or even just plain know what they were feeling. This entry isn't so much about remembering the bad but remembering and cherishing the good I accomplished. If I'd never been there I know two friends who never would've gotten help and would still be in messed up situations. Let me tell you a story. When I was in kindergarten I knew this kid named Suan who was very mean to me. He knew nothing about me nor did I him and he made fun of me because he got picked on and he wanted to make friends with the wrong people. I got mad at him but one day I turned it around by being nice to him. We got to talking and within a week we were the best of friends and were inseperable. He would move away the next year but we still talked and visited with each other until he moved again. I haven't seen him since and I cherish the memory. Fast track to high school and Another kid was hating on me for the same reasons the kids did back then, TS. I thought about Suan and how it would be nice to turn this guy into another friend, so I talked to him, heard his side, and explained my side and educated him about TS. We have been good friends ever since. TS brought me together with 2 people because it gave me something in common with them either because they too had something or it gave us shared interests. Some people complain that differences can drive people apart but what about how they can bring people together by giving them something in common?

Another thing TS has taught me is how to advocate for someone because I had to learn to do that for myself very quickly. I have had to explain to people my condition and persuade them that I can still do a job or that I may need additional help.

What have you guys done in your lives that have caused you to become better people or have caused you to make good friends? How many of those things came from something that would normally be considered bad or unfortunate? Leave some comments below so I can hear your thoughts?

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Now here comes what I promised yesterday.

Today we will be going over tics in greater detail, particularly my own.

Now there are two kinds of tic, simple and complex.

Simple tics are basic and involve only a couple of muscle groups to use while complex involve multiple muscle groups and are more complicated to do. nd example of a simple tic would be tapping a floor with your foot or using you lips to make a popping sound. A complex tip could be pacing around a room, running, or repeat the words of yourself or others.

There are two other categories of tics that overlap with simple and complex, these are vocal and motor tics. Motor tics are usually movements that involve the limbs or the body while vocal tips involve the mouth and or voice like Ecolalia, or repeating the words of others other the words and thoughts of yourself is a vocal tic (and yes I am BAD about this one), barking, the popping thing I mentioned earlier, or even grunting and sighing. Vocal tics can include the nose as well such as forcing air out of your nose in short puffs or bursts.. While a touch tic (touching objects or even people sometime repetitively), tapping a foot, arm jerks, or jumping over things. These tics can all be noticeable and very annoying to other people so many patients with TS will try to suppress them. The problem is the more you supress the worse they get. Eventually it becomes a bad itch that you have to scratch and comes out in an eruption of tics if you TS is severe enough and/or you hold it in for too long. Now for what causes tics, my pediatric neurologist basically told me that there is a natural filter for signals in the brain. In people with TS this filter doesn't work properly and some signals can get through. These become impulses to make a person do something either vocal or motor and the signal can be supressed but not canceled. Eventually the signal WILL win out and the tic is carried out. Tics are THE biggest cause for trouble with people with TS. We get bullied over these on a constant basis and sadly enough some people don't care, they don't want an explanation they just want an excuse to put someone down. This can lead to more stress and even more tics as a result because tics are produced purely by stress. Now you may be wondering how these signal form. Let me give you a demonstration

A| =============== |B

Point A i8s the axon for one brain cell, point B is the receptor area for another brain cell and the equal signs are the synapse or space between brain cells. neurotransmitters or message carrying chemicals flow from point A to point B. The more chemicals the quicker the response while the less chemicals the slower the response. Too many means that the message can loop at a rapid pace while too few means the message can take a long time to reach the next cell. For a better picture, think of point A as to goal of a foot ball field and point B as the opposite goal. You have five people driving cars from end to end carrying a message 1 (one) word at time. Here is the message: Sanctuary is a cool dude, give him a dollar.
Now with 5 people that will take a few minutes. Add 10 (ten) more people and that message will travel much faster. Add another 10 more and it will travel too fast and possibly loop. THis is a big part of TS because it come from signals either being over sent or under sent. This makes it very hard for us to think and can cause multiple tics to come at once or even come rapid fire. This happens to me everyday and there are very few medicines in existence that can treat tics directly. Most medications treat the other symptoms but do very little for tics. For some people their tics are so severe that they do damage to their body and they need to have electrodes implanted onto their brains just so they don't break their legs or arms. If you think I'm kidding look it up, because it is rare but it does happen.

Now for most with TS, tics build up in their teens then gradually decrease in there adulthood until they go to low levels by the time the hit 28 years old. My tics have gone down significantly but they will more than likely never go away.

Now as I mentioned in a previous entry, tics come ago in stages and bouts. Sometime a kid will lose a tic when they go on summer vacation only for it to come back the following school year. Others come in waves while some are one time only deals for a period of time. There is no way to tell what tics you will develop or how you will acquire them. The best thing to do is get to a safe environment and just let them out. There are times when you do have to hold them in and while it does stink, sometimes it is worth it.

In a future entry I will discuss the particular neurotransmitters and what they do but I figured that this is a big entry for me and I need to pace myself because this is a lot to talk about at once.

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Now to note, I think there might have been a comment or 2 here, but I may have forgotten to archive them. I'm not sure but I just feel like something is missing.

Now for many of you people who will read future entries, you may notice that there was a time when I was getting VERY stressed and was venting a lot in the blog. This is a deal I go through every year because of the holidays. No matter where I work the holidays always impact me and add a huge stress factor for me. The good thing is that things slowed down MASSIVELY after december and now I have much less stress. The truth is that I am currently enjoying my work for the most part despite some of the things that have been going on. Retail and fast food become mentally and emotionally draining from october to about the beginning of january due to the holiday season. Yes there are busy periods throughout the year but for the most part most of the bad times hit in that time period. Will I become like that again? Probably, but hopefully by then much of my situation will have changed for the better. If not I will be better prepared for it this year and will be able to adapt accordingly.