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Pokecized Lyrics

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by zdbz_lv, May 8, 2017.

  1. zdbz_lv

    zdbz_lv Swimmer

    Feb 27, 2017
    This seems the most appropriate place and label for this...

    For a while now on Tumblr, I've been turning to various show tunes and standards and doing variations on the lyrics, basically turning them into little musical scenes for Pokémon, almost all of them related to pokeshipping.

    First up: a variation on "Anything You Can Do" from Annie Get Your Gun.

    Misty: Anything you can do, I can do better.
    I can do anything better than you.
    Ash: No you can't.
    Misty: Yes I can.
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can!
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can, yes I can!

    Ash: Anything you can be, I can be greater.
    Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.
    Misty: No you're not.
    Ash: Yes I am.
    Misty: No you're not!
    Ash: Yes I am!
    Misty: No you're not!
    Ash: Yes I am, yes I am!

    Ash: I'm gonna be a master! I learn moves so much faster!
    Misty: I'm better in the water, and I'm so much smarter.
    Ash: I can chow down any food.
    Misty: Chow down to the max?
    Ash: Yeah!
    Misty: So can Munchlax.

    Ash: Any move your team does, my team does better.
    Misty: My team does any move better than yours.
    Ash: They do not.
    Misty: They do too.
    Ash: They do not!
    Misty: They do too!
    Ash: They do not!
    Misty: They do too, they do too!

    Ash (dia): Oh yeah? Why don't you prove it!
    Misty (dia): You asked for it, Ash Ketchum! Time for our rematch!
    Brock (dia): Guys, do you have to do this now?
    Ash and Misty (dia): YES!
    Brock (dia): Well...do you have to be so loud?
    Ash and Misty (dia): YES!
    Ash (dia): In fact...

    Ash: Anything you can say, I can say louder!
    Misty: I can say anything louder than you!
    Ash: No you can't.
    Misty: Yes I can.
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can!
    Ash: NO YOU CAN'T!

    Ash (dia): That's it! Time for the battle! Squirtle, I choose you!

    Misty: Ha! Compared to your water types, mine are much better!
    Ash: My water types are better than yours!
    Misty: They are not.
    Ash: They are too.
    Misty: They are not!
    Ash: They are too!
    Misty: They are not!
    Ash: They are too, they are too!

    Ash: I take on all the matches! I win all the badges!
    Misty: I'm the tough gym leader!
    Brock: I'm one unhappy breeder.
    Misty (dia): No cutting in!
    Ash: I'll just win with Pikachu!
    Pikachu: Pi Pikachupi!
    Ash: You won't battle Misty!?

    Misty (dia): I love you too, Pikachu!
    Pikachu (dia): Pika pi!
    Ash (dia): Traitor!
    Jessie (dia): Prepare for - wait, what's going on?
    James (dia): Ooh, are we interrupting a lover's tiff?
    Ash and Misty (dia): Take that back!
    Jessie (dia): You're blushing again!
    Ash (dia): Grrr...Pikachu, Thunderbolt!
    Pikachu (dia): Pi-Ka-CHUUUUU!
    Jessie, James, and Meowth (dia): We're blasting off again!
    Ash (dia): Now...where were we?
    Brock (hopeful dia): Getting back on the road?

    Ash: Anything you can catch, I can catch quicker.
    Misty: I can catch anything quicker than you.
    Ash: You can not.
    Misty: I can too.
    Ash: You can not!
    Misty: I can too!
    Ash: You can not!
    Misty: I can too, I can too!

    Ash: Anything you can train, I can train better.
    Misty: I can train anything better than you.
    Ash: No you can't.
    Misty: Yes I can.
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can!
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can, yes I can!

    Ash: Any key you can keep, I can keep bettter!
    Misty: I can stay on-key better than you!
    Ash: No you can't.
    Misty: Yes I can.
    Ash: No you can't!
    Misty: Yes I can!
    Ash (off-key): No you can't!
    Misty (pitch perfect): Yes I CAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
    #1 May 8, 2017
    Last edited: May 21, 2017
  2. zdbz_lv

    zdbz_lv Swimmer

    Feb 27, 2017
    Next: a variation on "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

    Normal text = Misty. Bold text = Ash. Italics = Misty’s thoughts. Italic bold = Ash’s thoughts.


    As a fire burns in the fireplace, tended by CHARIZARD, ASH and PIKACHU look out the window at a raging blizzard.

    ASH: Wow - it’s really coming down, isn’t it Pikachu?

    PIKACHU: Pika pika.

    MISTY enters from the kitchen.

    MISTY: Ash, have you seen my bag?

    ASH: Huh? Oh - it’s over there by the couch. Why, do you need it?

    MISTY: No, but I was thinking…

    I should probably head home.
    But Misty, it’s cold outside.
    It’s not far. I won’t roam.
    Misty, it’s cold out there.
    This evening has been
    We’re glad you dropped in. (Pika!)
    Really nice, Ash.
    Geez, Mist - your hands are like ice!

    Dewgong will start to worry.
    C’mon, Mist. What’s the hurry?
    And Starmie will be pacing the floor
    Charizard! You don’t have to roar!
    Tell your mom thanks for the meal.
    Just stay. What’s the big deal?
    Well - maybe just one battle more.
    All right! Watch me wipe the floor!

    I don’t know what to think.
    Whoa - it’s bad out there!
    Did Pikachu…give me a wink?
    Even Articuno’d struggle out there!
    I feel like I’m falling
    Is that Professor Oak calling?
    Under a spell…
    Hey - when her hair’s down, it looks swell.

    I’ve wanted a night, just him and me.
    Yeah, so…get comfy, Misty.
    Tried to set one up - oh, how I tried…
    Why do I feel all funny inside?
    I know I shouldn’t stay…

    I’ll…get us some cocoa.
    Ah, but it’s cold outside.
    ‘Cause it’s cold outside.

    Ash ducks into the kitchen and quickly reappears with two mugs of hot chocolate.

    ASH: Here you go. Mom’s special recipe!

    MISTY: Thanks, Ash.

    ASH: So…why don’t you put your bag back down?

    Misty grins mischievously.

    Hmm…I still think I should go.
    Misty, it’s awful out there!
    So you do care? I didn’t know!
    No! Just…just look out there!
    Well…it is really late.
    Y-yeah! No need to tempt fate!
    And your house is so warm…
    Even I wouldn’t chance this storm!

    My sisters will be suspicious.
    Mmm! This hot chocolate’s delicious!
    Psyduck will be there at the door.
    Hey, Pikachu - zap it up a bit more?
    The way he’s looking at me…
    I never noticed - her eyes are like the sea…
    Oh, how it makes my heart soar!
    Ummm…ever seen it snow like this before?

    I think I’ll head out.
    What!? Misty, you’ll freeze out there!
    OK! No need to shout!
    It’s up to our knees out there!
    The evening’s been grand.
    Is…is she holding my hand?
    I’m getting sleepy…
    What is she doing to me!?

    You’re sweet, Mr. Pokémon Master.
    My heart keeps beating faster!
    And now he’s sitting here by my side.
    Least she’s staying in - what if she went out and died?
    I know we’ll get teased for this…
    M-merry Christmas, Mist.
    Ah, but it’s cold…
    Boy, it’s cold…

    Baby, it’s cold outside!
    It’s cold outside!
  3. zdbz_lv

    zdbz_lv Swimmer

    Feb 27, 2017
    Now a version of "You're Welcome."


    It is a beautiful summer’s day. An adult ASH AND MISTY, with PIKACHU, are enjoying a picnic. As they eat, a YOUNG BOY nervously approaches them. Misty spies him first.

    MISTY: Hello there!
    BOY: Oh my gosh - y-y-y-you’re - you’re Ash Ketchum!

    Ash looks up from the food.

    ASH: Hmm?
    BOY: The Pokémon Master!
    ASH: Yeah…I guess I am! (laughs)
    MISTY: Careful, kid - you don’t want to get him started.
    BOY: I-I-I-I…
    MISTY: Are you OK?
    BOY: …
    ASH: OK, OK….

    I see what’s happening here
    (MISTY: Oh no)
    You’re face to face with greatness, and it’s strange
    You don’t even know how you feel
    It’s adorable!
    Well, it’s nice to see that children never change

    Open your eyes, let’s begin
    Yes, it’s really me, it’s Ash! Now, reel it in!
    It’s OK if you breathe faster
    You’re with the Pokémon Master!

    What can I say except you’re welcome
    For finding the Jewel of Life!
    Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay
    You’re welcome
    Oh, and by the way, this is my wife

    (Misty opens her mouth to speak, but Ash jumps in front of her)

    What has two thumbs and helped save Jirachi
    When you were just about three
    Yep - me!

    And rode Latias
    And her bro Latios too
    With my pal, Pikachu!
    (PIKACHU: Pika!)

    Oh, also I saved Celebi
    You’re welcome!
    Stopped Space and Time from going screwy

    Also I fought against Team Flare
    You’re welcome!
    And that Kyurem thing - I was there!

    So what can I say except you’re welcome
    For taming the Beast of the Sea
    It’s just my way, it’s okay
    You’re welcome!
    Ha, I guess it’s just what comes from being me
    You’re welcome!
    You’re welcome!

    Well, come to think of it
    Kid, honestly I can go on and on
    ‘Cause I’ve met all the Legendary Pokémon
    Zapdos and Entei and good ol’ Mewtwo
    (Even helped save him from Team Rocket too)

    Pikachu and me
    We’re just that darn strong!
    (MISTY: This song has been going on for way too long)

    Hoopa, Diancie
    Victini, Darkrai
    I’ve run into ‘em all and I’ve never asked why

    It’s just a part of being the best
    Meeting Mew and Ho-Oh and - you know the rest!
    All the places I’ve been
    Everything I’ve seen happen
    And saving the day sets my toes a-tappin’

    Well, anyway let me say you’re welcome
    For saving this world you know
    Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay
    You’re welcome!
    I’ve just gotta call out “Pikachu, go!”

    (MISTY: Hey, now it’s my day to say you’re welcome
    'Cause his ego’s out of control
    But it’s okay, it’s okay
    You’re welcome!
    'Cause checking it is just how I roll!)

    You’re welcome!
    You’re welcome!

    (Misty pulls out her mallet and gives Ash a whack on top of his swollen head)

    …So what’s your name?
    JadeFox likes this.
  4. zdbz_lv

    zdbz_lv Swimmer

    Feb 27, 2017
    And a version of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."


    It is pouring rain outside, and cracks of thunder occasionally sound in the distance. ASH, MISTY, BROCK, PIKACHU, and TOGEPI are at the desk. Ash is arguing with NURSE JOY.

    ASH: …But I have to go out there! My gym battle’s tomorrow and I need to train!

    NURSE JOY: No means no, young man! Even if it wasn’t past curfew, there’s no way I’d let anyone out in these conditions!

    Ash groans. Pikachu, perched on his shoulder, follows suit.

    MISTY: I hate to say I told you so, Ash, but if you would have gone training this afternoon like I said, you wouldn’t have this problem.

    Ash whirls around to face her.

    ASH: Keep your opinions to yourself!

    MISTY: Hey! I’m just trying to help, Ash!

    ASH: No, you’re just being a know-it-all!

    MISTY: I am not!

    ASH: Are too!

    MISTY: Are not!

    ASH: Are too!

    They keep going as Nurse Joy and Brock look on.

    NURSE JOY: Oh my. Should we do something?

    BROCK: Trust me - for them, this is very ordinary. But your beauty is extraordinary!

    As Brock attempts his latest pitch at woo, Ash and Misty reach peak volume.

    ASH: Well, you’re just bossy!

    MISTY: Well, you’re just a jerk!

    ASH: Oh yeah?


    NURSE JOY: That’s enough!

    Ash and Misty turn from each other to look at her.

    NURSE JOY: Now - I know lovers’ tiffs can get intense, but you two will have to behave civilly in my lobby until you can make up.

    ASH/MISTY: Lover’s tiff?

    They storm off to separate corners of the lobby. Ash folds his arms and sulks. Pikachu hops off his shoulder onto the windowsill.

    ASH: Lover’s tiff…look good together…why does everyone say that?

    PIKACHU: Ka Pikachupi pika pi chu, Pikapi.

    ASH: It’s not fair, Pikachu!

    This thing called love
    Why’s everyone obsessed with it?
    This thing called love
    I just…bah ,who needs it?
    Not me! (PIKACHU: Pika!)
    Stupid little thing called love

    On the other side of the lobby, Misty is curled up in a chair, Togepi in her arms.

    MISTY: Lover’s tiff…ridiculous!

    TOGEPI: Togeprii!

    PSYDUCK pops out of his ball. He gives Misty a coy smirk.

    MISTY: Oh, who asked you, anyway?

    PSYDUCK: Psyyyy?

    MISTY: I do not…

    She looks around to be sure no one is near.

    MISTY: Oh, fine. Maybe.

    This thing called love
    It calls in its eggshells all night
    It swoons and it falls
    And jiggles all over like a Tentacool
    I kind of like it!
    Crazy little thing called love

    She looks over at Ash, who is playfully exchanging jabs with Pikachu.

    There goes my baby
    Working hard to be the best
    He drives me crazy
    I want to hug him and kiss him
    (And punch him in his big, dumb head)

    I gotta be cool, relax
    Go slow, plan my attack
    Tempt him in with just a dose
    Don’t go all out on him like a Gyarados
    Wait ‘til he’s ready
    Crazy little thing called love.

    Misty returns Psyduck to his Pokéball and carries Togepi back over to the counter. Brock, hearts in eyes, is still drooling over Nurse Joy, and barely has a grip on the room key. Misty takes it from him and heads for the stairs, but not before looking back on Ash one more time.

    MISTY: I gotta be cool, relax
    Go slow, plan my attack
    Tempt him in with just a dose
    Don’t go all out on him like a Gyarados
    Wait ‘til he’s ready
    Crazy little thing called love.

    Meanwhile, Ash and Pikachu are still mock-punching each other.

    PIKACHU: Pi Pikapi, pika Pikachupi?

    ASH: No, I do not!

    PIKACHU: Pikachu?

    ASH: Of course I’m sure!

    Well, I mean, maybe
    In the water, she is the best
    She drives me crazy
    But when she lets her hair down
    It leaves me in a cool, cool sweat

    I’ve gotta be cool, relax
    Get some food, eat like a Snorlax
    Walk a mile and a yard
    Or just fly the distance on Charizard
    Until I’m ready
    Crazy little thing called love

    MISTY: Crazy little thing called love
    Crazy little thing called love
    Crazy little thing called love (ASH: called love)
    Crazy little thing called love
    Crazy little thing called love (ASH: called love)
    Crazy little thing called love (ASH: called love, called love)
    A little thing called love (ASH: called love)
    Crazy little thing called love!
  5. zdbz_lv

    zdbz_lv Swimmer

    Feb 27, 2017
    This is a version of a song from Family Guy. It's one of those rare times where the parody lyrics are cleaner than the original. I can't link to the song here; if you know the tune, follow along:


    ASH, PIKACHU perched on his shoulder, nervously stands before a desk. The figure behind it has turned his chair away from Ash to look out the window.

    ASH: …So anyway, I finally figured out what was up between us.

    PIKACHU: Pikachupi pi pika ka pika.

    ASH: OK, fine - she told me she liked me, and then I figured it out. We kind of left it there, but tonight’s the anniversary of when we first met. I asked her to go out with me, and Pikachu and I want to do something special for her.

    PIKACHU: Pika!

    ASH: I thought about asking Brock for help, but…

    PIKACHU: Pikaaa.

    ASH: (chuckling) You said it, buddy. But I thought you’d know about this stuff, and I’ve told you all about her. You’ve even met her a few times. What do you think?

    The figure in the chair doesn’t stir.

    ASH: …Cilan?

    The chair whips around, revealing CILAN, who strikes a pose.

    CILAN: It’s romance time!

    ASH: Uh…special but simple is what I meant to say befo-AAH!

    Cilan leaps over the table, takes Ash by the arm, and leads him into the dressing room. Music strikes up, and Cilan begins to sing.

    You’ve got to look your best tonight
    You poor romantic neophyte
    ‘Cause there’s a lovely lady and she’s waiting for you.

    You hope to catch that Milotic
    And men’s cologne may do the trick.
    A splash of something simple, perhaps Roserade D’eau.

    We’ll try a tie and suit of ‘lectric yellow
    Oh, wait - no. Murcrow. Ah yes, that suits you fine, my fellow.
    Class, panache, the graceful turns of flocks of Swellow
    All these things you must possess!

    You’re eager to find out just where
    You’ll feel that gorgeous ginger hair
    But boy, before you touch a single curl
    You must impress that ranting, raving,
    Romance craving, your life saving
    Cerulean girl!

    ASH: But her hair’s straight. I don’t even think she likes curling it. And I know where our date’s gonna be.

    CILAN: Of course, Ash. Now hold still.

    Cilan holds up scissors; Ash gulps.

    Your weather-beaten flattened locks
    Don’t matter to a wild Dephox
    But it’s your sweetheart’s favor that you’re seeking tonight.

    So let’s shampoo and trim you up
    As silky as a Lillipup
    And then you will be ready to step out in the light.

    Your pet is set
    Just brush his fur and then he
    Will be clean, and keen
    To help you win your lady.
    So now boys - show poise
    And confidence, and then I know ye
    Will sweep her right off her feet!

    You want to take her in your arms
    And win her over with your charms
    But boy, before you set her heart a-twirl
    You must impress that bug-caused flinching,
    Vict’ry clinching, Brock’s ear pinching
    Cerulean girl!

    Her eyes are emerald oceans
    And her hair is prone to shine
    Just like a Starmie’s jewel in the sun.
    But though she is enticing
    And worth so much sacrificing
    Her temper is quick to flare
    Inflaming it, you’ve done your share
    And even you she will not spare
    So boy, be prepared to run!

    The dance break sounds, and Cilan goes wild. Ash and Pikachu look on in a daze.

    ASH: Maybe we should’ve gone with Brock.

    PIKACHU: Pikachu.

    Cilan takes Ash’s arm.


    Cilan ropes Ash into the remainder of the dance break. He finishes dressing and grooming him; Ash ends up in a three-piece Murcrow-colored suit with a golden tie, a Riley-style fedora, and well-trimmed hair. Cilan adjusts the brim of the hat, then leaps onto a table to finish the song.

    My dear boy, you and Pikachu
    Will make an ace romantic crew.
    You’re sure to take your Misty for a whirl.
    Now go impress that acrobatic,
    enigmatic, subaquatic,
    Pain dispatching, Fairy hatching
    Lately Tentacool-catching,
    Wallop-packing, quick attacking,
    Mallet whacking, patience lacking,
    But still caring, ever daring,
    Aim unerring, crop top wearing,
    Water-loving, rude man shoving,
    Often blushing, on you crushing,
    Mermaid playing, map surveying,
    Truth conveying, skill assaying,
    Entertaining, Psyduck training,
    Happiness and true love raining…

    Cilan tops off his work with a rose in Ash’s lapel.

    Cerulean girl!



    IRIS and AXEW sit on the bed and play together. Misty steps out of the bedroom. Her hair is down, she has on silver earrings and a bracelet, she wears a knee-length emerald dress and sheer black leggings, and has applied just the slightest bit of make-up.

    MISTY: What do you think?

    IRIS: (Not even looking up) Looks great. You kids have fun.

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