Why Do I Even Try?

Forsooth! For shall I have been told.
I ne'er knew that th'truth held behold.
For now I am in deep despair.
As my dog claimed a'sittin on the stairs.
No way for me to go up, Oh woe is me.
He is a pitbull, as you may'ave seen.
I soon then thought o'er me head.
That I shall use the couch for'me bed.
Not until midnight I may wake.
As the cold wind causes me to shake.
I'm too damn lazy to get up and close
The window that's causing th'cloggin of me nose.
I turn on the TV to cope.
And I witnessed a commercial for dove bodywash soap.
I then started to turn it off.
My mind then went blank.
As my brain started to turn soft,
My heart sharply sank.
To the sight of Little Caesar's 10 dollar item.
With a deep crust full of cheese.
I didn't believe them
But I was wrong, I blurted out "Yes Please!"

"CHEESY CRUST, CHEESY CRUST! THEY PUT IT IN THE CRUST"
"It makes something great even better!"
"YES IT DOES, YES IT DOES!"
"WITH THE CHEESE IN THE CRUST!"

<3