A couple months ago, I found my old Pokémon Crystal game. I grabbed my old GBA and popped that sucker in just to see how much I used to suck at Pokémon. What I didn't expect was that I would suddenly be drowning in a wave of nostalgia. You see, Crystal was my first Pokémon game. Totodile was the very first Pokémon I had ever gotten. I had forgotten that he was also the first Pokémon that I got up to level 100. So, just for shits and giggles, I went to mount silver and climbed to the top to face off against Red. I'd never actually beaten him before in Crystal, so I figured I'd give it a shot. My Feraligatr was the only Pokémon above level 50 on my team, so I didn't expect to win. I swept Red's entire team with only my first Pokémon. I'll never forget a single moment of that battle. Absolutely! You see, I am a heavy class fighter. Seriously, I'm 215 pounds of six-foot-three broad-shouldered hulking menace. I could beat the midgets even without the European broadsword.
Yes. It is a bit easier since the midgets are on bikes. All I have to do is hit them once while they are moving fast to throw them off-balance, and inertia takes care of the rest. Even if I had no arms, I could win. I have much better leg strength than arm strength due to a one hour daily bike ride, so losing an arm has little to no effect on my combat abilities.
Ok. So the midgets trade bikes for jetpacks. You have no arms and are missing one foot. The midgets have flaming Wolverine claws. What happens now?
Wow, you are desperate to get me to admit defeat. Unfortunately for you, I have backup. I'm the founder of a leadership club that has recently exploded in popularity. Each of our core members has one thing in common: we always stick together. If I was in trouble, they would all be right there beside me no matter what. We outnumber the midgets greatly, and five of the members are about as strong as I am. Two of them are even stronger than me as far as arm strength goes. Even with only one leg, I can still drive a car. My vehicle of choice is the one I currently own, an SUV we nicknamed Vinnie. Vinnie is an absolute tank. I can operate the gas and brakes with my foot and drive with my knee/chin at the same time, so I can just drive over the midgets. With my friends and Vinnie by my side, the midgets wouldn't stand a chance.
You are a tough one. The midgets eat magical beans that give them magic powers of flight and super strength. You are now limbless in a wheelchair but the tires were stolen and put up on Craigslist. Vinnie was towed because it was parked on the wrong side of the street. Your teams core members were captured because they were fooled by a strategically placed photo of Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence and led into a trap. You have been transported to another planet called Zibble Dibble where the midgets have amazing psychic powers. You are surrounded by the midgets and a pack of robot velociraptors, the largest one being ridden by Jesus. The only glimmer of hope you posses is the flute on your lap, but the keys are sticky and it can't hit above and G. What do you do now? Because I'm going to bed and I don't have enough time for this.
It's complicated. You see, I had my Dr. Pepper in one hand, an apple in the other that I was munching on, and my left ankle was swollen up beyond belief because I sprained it horribly after falling while playing wallyball. It's like volleyball but indoors. Anyway, I decided to try to drive home with just using my right leg to see if I could. Turns out that I actually could do so, but I had to use my chin to help turn tight corners. Simple. I realize right away that this must be a dream, because flutes don't have keys. Now that I am lucid, I control everything and destroy the world with my mind.
If only I could actually understand the questions people ask me... but, alas, poor grammar and the lack of a solid understanding of the English language seem to prevent some others from ever truly posing a valid question. Maybe someday the people's general understanding of grammar will improve. I can hope so.
*googles pictures of keyed flutes* Ahem. It appears I have made a grievous error. Instead, I desperately play the Song of Time on the flute and travel back to when I had my limbs. I then alter the future so that I was never captured by midgets and I destroy the planet Zibble Dibble.
I like you. You ask good questions. Anyways, my favorite episodes are The Return of Harmony: Parts 1 & 2. Those are the episodes where we first meet Discord, and I honestly think he is one of the best characters from the show. The Return of Harmony episodes brought a rather dark undertone into what had previously been an incredibly "fluffy" show. I liked it. The fluff of the show wasn't diminished, but it gained a new aspect of looking at the world of the show. Oh, and Discord is a wonderfully written character. He's my favorite villain of all time.
