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Chairs are the worst

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by LassusVulpes, Mar 1, 2021.

  1. LassusVulpes

    LassusVulpes smol boi wooper

    Flex
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    aight, hi. i'm supposed to be working on a crap ton of missing assignments, but i'm lazy and getting mad at my chair. so imma write this as a way of saying chairs suck.


    Chairs suck. By LassusVulpes.

    Chairs are the worst thing to ever be invented by man. They swerve around endlessly, they're uncomfortable, and just ugly. This is why , I am writing this.

    the chair, invented some odd years ago by some caveman, who sat on a rock. And went "Hmmm butt feel good." And for decades people sat on rocks, then some daft moron went "Log. Sit." And sat on the log. He got sapped , but he had a much easier time sitting on it then the rock. So he cleaned the log, and now we have wooden log chairs.


    THEN SOMEONE WENT, LET"S ADD FUCKING WHEELS TO IT, GOD THAT WAS A MISTAKE!


    THE WHEELS ARE ENDLESSLY TURNING AND MOVING YOU AROUND, IF YOU AS MUCH AS DARE SIT IMPROPER, HOHO YOU'RE ABSOLUTLY DONE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY YOU HALF WIT! BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA JUST SPIN AROUND AT 1000 MPS, AND GET SICK, BUT NOT ONLY THAT! BUT YOU ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY POTENTAL CABLES IN THE WAY

    NOW, LET'S GET ONTO THIS PART.

    CHAIRS
    ARE
    UNCOMFORTABLE

    If you as much as sit a little bit off the center of the chair, you get back pain, arm pain, SUFFERING AND AGONY, The chairs shape can be much better, we can just have giant beanbags instead of chairs . wait. is a beanbag a chair? no , it's a slime of beans. Besides even when you sit in a chair correctly, it's uncomfortable .

    AND LET ME GET STARTED, ON THEIR LOOKS! THEY LOOK LIKE EYESORES, NO ONE LIKES THE LOOK OF CHAIRS. LIKE LET ME SHOW YOU PICTURES OF CHAIRS , AND TELL ME. WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO SIT IN ONE??

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]



    i rest my case.

    AND THIS IS WHY CHAIRS ARE HORRIBLE AND NEED TO ALL BE SWAPPED WITH GIANT BEANBAGS!
     
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  2. Cherry3Fairy

    Cherry3Fairy I love sylveon

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    Will you hate me if I say I like chairs (sometimes)?
     
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  3. LassusVulpes

    LassusVulpes smol boi wooper

    Flex
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    ....... we'll see.
     
  4. Gazi

    Edgelord
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    And on chairs it's a lot harder to comfortably curl my knees up close to my chest, or sit like a mermaid does on a rock. I just generally prefer the floor (bonus if it's also under a table).
     
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  5. ChocoChicken

    Beldum
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    OBJECTION!
    Bean bags? BEAN BAGS? THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?
    You said, and I quote, "If you as much as sit a little bit off the center of the chair, you get back pain, arm pain, SUFFERING AND AGONY" - HOW DOES THAT NOT APPLY TO BEAN BAGS. You TRY typing on a laptop on a beanbag without snapping your spine when you get up half an hour later. I do that on a chair and I'm still savable.
     
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  6. Jeydis

    Jeydis ArchWOOPAH

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    It's getting up from the beanbag that causes issues. Agreed for a lot of chairs...especially as someone with wide hips. Keep those armrests away from me >_>
     
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  7. LassusVulpes

    LassusVulpes smol boi wooper

    Flex
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    OBJECTION, YOU CAN JUST ROLL AROUND IN THE BEAN BAG LIKE AN ARMADILLO, MEANING YOU CAN NOT ONLY GO DOWN STAIRS, UNLIKE THOSE DREADED CHAIR WHEELS. BUT YOU ALSO LOOK STYLISH, SO YOU NEVER NEED TO GET OUT OF A BEAN BAG! AND IF YOU FEEL FASHIONABLE, YOU CAN HAVE A WINE BEANBAG CHAIR AND FILL IT WITH WATER!
     
  8. Skittle

    Skittle kamo ne

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    this entire thread reminds me of a ben or ryan level shitpost back in 2017 and im here for it

    but what if the chair is BIG and IMPOSING?? you could sit in it like an evil genius and feel like you rule the world (or whatevers on your desk, i OWN my army of Pokémon plushes now) also im guilty of the 1000mph WHEEEEEEEEE spinning but funnily enough i have a million things plugged in nearby and the wires never get caught just put em on the floor. THE CHAIR WILL NOT WIN TODAY!!

    i also remember having a beanbag as a kid i thought they were kinda funky but its too hard to get up from them. beanbags are trying to steal us an by extension our souls!!
     
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  9. ChocoChicken

    Beldum
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    It's not even only the getting up from a beanbag that hurts. How in the seven levels of pineapple on pizza are you supposed to find a proper desk to sit it at?! Let me tell you, if I don't have my book or laptop or whatever up on a desk, my neck will be in PAIN after TWENTY MINUTES. The lifestyle you argue to liberate us from solves all those health problems. How are bean bags gonna do that, huh? And if you just lower desks, how many people are going to just have to squish their knees up against the bottom of the desk, and how are they gonna get out if the desk is too small? No, cross-legged is not an option, legs will fall asleep.
     
  10. LassusVulpes

    LassusVulpes smol boi wooper

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    Ever heard of a state called Japan...? They eat... On guess what. Kneeling tables, on the floor . Also beanbags are able to be used as a chair, just takes patience
     
  11. ChocoChicken

    Beldum
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    So you're telling me you would rather kneel than use a chair? Other that that, you can go ahead and try to tell me that kneeling for hours on end WON'T eventually harm your legs. Even if not, kneeling has the same problem as sitting cross-legged on the floor and so on.
    Chairs are also far more natural. You go on an outing with a bunch of friends and stop to eat or something, everyone will instinctively look for a nice rock or the edge of a fountain or this or that and sit on it. LIKE ON A CHAIR.
     
  12. Jupjami

    Jupjami Time Gear Thief

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    ^^^ this resonates with me so ^^^

    also in Filipino another word for chair literally means "buttcatcher", if that makes 'ya feel any better
     
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