The Veil

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING. This is not actually a suicide note. I am not thinking about committing suicide. Please do not worry, the inspiration behind this all was I was wondering what my note would be like at this current point in time. If the current stresses got to much. They are nowhere near that though. If you are thinking about it, please get help from others before you do.

This poem is long, therefore it will be sectioned up into chapters which will probably be posted irregularly. Thank you @[member="shinygiratinaz"] for being a great editor for this.


If this is read
I'm probably dead
Hopefully, not to soon

My neck on a wire
Or by someone's ire
Most likely my fault too

Why? You might be asking
Who? You're probably wondering
The fault all lies on me

My answer will be vast,
And written in the past
So for now we'll let it be

This is MY last note after all;
My mind and heart shall speak true
So dear ones, both big and small
I want to speak about everyone one of you

My life, my heart, my fucking mind
All have been altered by those listed
For better or worse, through the daily grind
I end it all so twisted

To give you a glimpse of my self doubting mind
Each description will not be named
You may think your bio is easy to find
But nobody's doubt is tamed

Shall we begin?

 

Naw man it's cool. I like your points and compliments even though I don't understand a lot of the things you are saying. I should probably clarify/explain a few things. I am not a poet, or even a story teller. This is a first for me, and even a bit of a surprise that I would suddenly do this, but I found the urge and the words. I'm surprised I still have the ability to continue it. Usually I'll start and then stop, not even able to force myself. But yeah. Something else that should be said is that one of the reasons I wrote it and it's written like this is because it's helping with my stress. It probably won't have much of a proper structure or wording. The way I write it, and the words I use are how it felt most comfortable and relieving (if that's the right word to use). Now don't worry, I'll definitely make it sound the best I can, but it's probably going to sound improper. However I will keep in mind what you said. Thank you kindly for the words

 

The first of which I speak of
Seems misguided most
Behind the bright exterior
Hides a worried ghost

A level of cleverness
Rivaled by a few
Yet only celebrates others
Which leads him askew

Walking towards greatness
Where he will explore the sky
But still kept grounded
By himself through others eyes

Quick to praise others
To the point of exhaustion
Yet hides his own feats
For the fear of corruption

To the one with little pride
My last words to you
Fret not on pleasing the most
Walk in your own shoes

Have faith in your own willpower
And march to spot one
You've proven yourself to us
Now stand up and run

Don't be stalled by my passing
I took an easy path out
I paid the 30 silver
But don't you follow this route

 

The second one chosen
Lays lost in fables
Led by envious lust
They're not quite stable

With false tears and ire
She tears into all
When a problem arises
Someone will fall

These words I have written
Mark her soul wicked
Although her intentions
Are much less twisted

Motivated by love
But blinded by greed
Her heart is tied to him
Never to be freed

Many despise her
Fearing puppets on strings
Many are blinded
Seeing only a fling

The solution to be learned
From this dead man's advice
Let go of your desire
Or else pay its price

Your beauty will bring many
So fear not of spite
Make sure of their intentions
You'll find one who's right

And the veil has been lifted

 

The third of those written
One known to excel
His body is stubborn
His head is as well

He bends not for others
Like an elder elm
But if there's one stronger
He'll be overwhelmed

Unable to adapt
Or just unwilling
So all his problems
Are self fulfilling

Yet with all that grit
Lies a warm heart
A wonderful soul
A work of art

And like a sculpture
Of flesh and bone
There's still more to chisel
Out of this stone

With every challenge
The shape is made
Then given detail
With a little aid

And soon, perfection
Cleaned of all dust
While I'm in the dark
Left there to rust

 

The next to walk in
I find her puzzling.
Some call her lovely;
I call her troubling.

The puppet master,
Holding strings without ends;
With marionettes,
That I don't trust as friends.

Or a spider queen,
Weaving your web of lies;
Entangling all,
Using us like lost flies.

Whatever the case,
I suspect nothing good.
A hidden motive,
A viper in a hood.

With looks of disdain,
And a critical tone,
Yet not towards others;
Reserved for me alone.

And with all that spit,
I call her a friend still,
For doubt still haunts me.
Should I wish her ill will?

While I tie my noose,
I see all my mistakes;
Did my mind blind me?
Did I cause my disgrace?

And the veil has been lifted

 

While I continue to fail
In both body and mind
There's one all but forgotten
The worst to leave behind

Greatness in both soul and wits
I'm glad to call her friend
She tried to save me from sin
Until the very end

Filled with compassion and pride
With a touch of hardass
And she is quick on the draw
From a tongue spilling sass

However she is human
And therefore far from perfection
Because some she gives too much
And others can't find affection

When with those who are loyal
She'll give them her all
To the point of exhaustion
And risking a fall

When next to those she abhors
She speaks with malice
Vicious in both words and tone
She's viewed as callous

Despite her strong emotions
I will love her still
For her smile kept me warm
And bolstered my will

 

There's only one man
That rivals the third in pride
But instead refutes
All his flaws in others eyes

Excusing his faults
Claiming them to have been just
When given critique
He responds with disgust

Surrounded by fools
They put him high on a stand
Obscuring all help
A twisted tomb made of sand

Buried far beneath the surface
Where he hides from his mistakes
But not locked away forever
For patience is what it takes

Those pillars in the sand
Will soon be nothing but dust
But those who keep loyal
Stay sturdy through time and rust

They act as a paved road
To assist in his travels
But only he may walk
And then trudge through the gravel

Step by step and every movement
The sand begins to settle
And while you start your flight
I fall like a spring petal

 

Thank you kindly for the comment. Not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction, but I dig it. As I've said before, I'm not the poetic type, so to this kind of reaction to my work is very lovely

 

Even the darkest minds
Have a hidden light
But for some souls it's why
I'm losing this fight

The intention for good
Can lead you to hell
Their purpose was to guide
But that's why I fell

He who tried for order
Put rage in my head
Then tried beating it out
But fanned the flames instead

She who wanted control
Put chaos in place
A conscious turned maelstrom
But a smiling face

In the eye of the storm
Holds a boy in tears
For those who surround him
Are his greatest fears

And so today I stand
I'm speaking to you
Still drowning in sorrow
Still a shade of blue

My love for you is forced
Designed and imposed
But these thorns are still sharp
On this plastic rose

 

Fire burns strong
And it glows for man
A tool for life
Making art from sand

Using his skills
He always survives
Still marching on
To see the sun rise

Fate found his goal
And shields him from loss
Until the end
Where he'll drown in doss

Fire burns strong
And can engulf men
A dual edged sword
A path to the end

Irony is cruel
And for some it's grim
All things have a price
So his skills betray him

His body breaking
The timer ticks away
With an unknown end
So let's count down the days

Fire in a man
Symbolizes his soul
Stays strong from his will
But burns quicker than coal

 

The Final Stand

If this is read
I'm probably dead
Now free to roam the stars

A bullet to the head
The floor painted red
But now I'll wander far

A life full of spite
My soul is without light
But my name will live on

This story is now closed
A book full of woes
But my tale shall see dawn

"Why stop it here?"
My light is away
"Why not get help?"
I will never say

I've reached my stop
A journey full of climbs and falls
My path was rather short
And I hear my final call

I leave this world to you all
The people I've loved and feared
For I'll still see your smiles
Behind this veil of tears