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Fanfiction Fallout: Pokemon

Discussion in 'Literature Library' started by Canpake, May 31, 2018.

  1. Canpake

    nice
    (Palkia Egg)
    Level 21
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    Hi! So I have a lot of major plot points of a story in my head that takes place in a universe that both combines Fallout and Pokémon. I started writing this story two years ago, and right now I'm not very happy with how it is so I plan to rewrite it from scratch. However, I think some people on this site might get a kick out of this, so I'm going to post what I have for now.

    Please look forward to this story being re-written over the summer (and I promise, a lot more chapters to come). Feel free to ask any questions about the universe because it really helps me flesh out the world I have.

    Also, please be aware that my story has violence. It has some adult themes. Though nothing TOO adult in my opinion, I still wanted to give out enough of a warning.

    Chapter 1:
    A pounding in the back of my skull slowly brought me back to reality. My vision was blurred around the edges and seemed to tremble in the same rhythm as my unstable breathing. A loud persistent ringing had me worried for a split second that I could have gone deaf.

    Then the real pain hit me like a truck, all at once. Instinctively, I carefully rolled to my side and curled up into a tight ball, and my sight began to come into focus. I was on the floor. Glass littered the floor around me, with what seemed to be little droplets of blood. Bringing up my hand I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was dreaming, and my fingers brushed against my forehead. The blood was mine, and I was covered in injuries.

    Then came the memories, the Vault sleepover, the Laboratory, the explosion...

    "Cait wake up. I need you to see something." Aaron shook me awake, with a sense of urgency and fear in his eyes. It took moments to readjust myself, remembering that I was at a sleepover with a few of my friends. Speaking of friends, Wren and Joey stirred in their sleep with the sudden commotion.

    "God, what time is it? Can it wait?" Joey yawned and rubbed his eyes.

    "No it can't. Follow me." Aaron turned on the flashlight that was located in his Pip-boy. The pip-boy was a device that was given to every Vault member at the age of 16. It had many functions, including of course a flashlight, the health conditions and status of the wearer, a map of The Vault, a radio, and some other miscellaneous things that we've never really had to use. Most of the Vault dwellers tuned in to the radio station we have that consistently played a mixture of old-timey pop music and smooth jazz.

    The long hallways were silent, save for the echoing steady soft footsteps of a few students. It was dark too; the Vault lights were in their dim power-saving mode that was always present with the night.

    Wren appeared sluggish and disgruntled. "Could you maybe give us an explanation, please? I'd rather get back to sleeping, thank you very much."

    "This is more important." Aaron seemed set, wherever we were going. It was silent for a good minute, and then he spoke again. "I went to go grab a book from my room-- I didn't think it was that far or anything-- and I passed the Laboratory. I just, noticed the door was slightly open and..." He trailed off.

    "What did you do, Aaron?" Wren's footsteps faltered for a moment and quickened to catch back up.

    "I know we're not supposed to go in but I, I just wanted to see what was in there..."

    And so there we were, at the door, with my heart quickening at the idea of what lay behind the door. Many of the adults living in the Vault (including almost all of the students parents) were scientists. Most of them studied us (the kids and adolescents) but a select few, including my dad, were chosen to work in the Laboratory. There were rumors of course as to what they worked on, and it was a common dare to see how close one could get to the door. Whenever any of us would ask a question regarding the subject, it was always covered up with how it was confidential, and how we didn't need to know. Other than that life in the Vault was usually perfunctory.

    I gave a feeble attempt at wiping the blood off on my shirt. Instead, it seemed to smear across the already limited clean areas of my hand. Grimacing, I carefully pressed my hand against my arms and legs, assessing the damage. Some more minor cuts and definitely some areas that would leave bruises, but no broken bones or anything serious.

    Finally, some good news.

    The door was still slightly ajar with a dim green light filtering through the crevice. I was the first to grab the handle and slowly push the door open. Aaron offered to stay watch in case anyone were to check on the laboratory. In truth, I just think he didn't want to go back inside for a second time.

    What first came to mind was how it was bigger than I imagined. With desks pushed up against the wall, and high-tech inventions that I couldn't recognize humming and whirring every so often. Then I noticed the couple of vats (or pods?) with one covered by a black tarp, and the other containing something of a human form. The pods were hard not to notice, considering the ambient green glow the pods emitted and the fact that it seemed to contain something living.

    "Cait, is that... You?" Wren whispered behind me. I walked closer without even really thinking about it. For a split-second I thought it really could be me, and then I realized it was my sister.

    My deceased sister.

    We were twins, and as close as any sisters could get. We did pretty much everything together, and sometimes we were even treated as the same person. While we didn't have very many deviances in appearance, our personalities were near polar opposites. Where I was strong-willed and stubborn, she was much more prone to her own emotions and of those around her. And that's when at the age of 13 she just got tired of the repetitiveness of Vault life and just had no will to live anymore. Eventually she just sick and passed away in her sleep.

    My father was absolutely distraught when she had finally died. He secluded himself in his room and even I rarely got to see him. That's why I was so surprised when he immediately snatched up the offer to work in the Laboratory considering his depressed state.

    I realized this was what he was working on. A way to bring Anna back.

    I felt like I was going to throw up.

    I totally threw up. I finally managed to get myself back to my feet at the cost of whatever I had last eaten. The room spun around me and the persistent ringing in my ears was still. Flipping. There.

    The two pods remained, with one still containing the 'sleeping' body of my sister and the other shattered and empty; obviously the source of all the broken glass pieces.

    "Is this real?" Joey whispered. We were all huddled around Anna. Deceased Anna. No-way-she-could-be-here Anna. But yet here she was, alive(?) and hooked up with an uncountable number of wires.

    I moved on and grabbed the black tarp. I needed to find answers, to find what else was in this nightmare. Ripping it off, the first thing that I noticed was the thing it contained was definitely unlike Anna. In fact, it wasn't human at all.

    While it was humanoid in shape, its skin was noticeably grey and it had two 'horns' that seemed to jut out the top of its skull. Not to mention the purple curved tailed that began from its stomach and curled around one of its legs. It floated in a fetal position with its eyes shut tight.

    "Hey, we should be getting back soon." Aaron spoke in a nervous hushed voice. He appeared suddenly, making both me and Wren jump at his voice. He turned back towards the door with Joey and Wren following suit, seeming deeply unnerved. I could tell none of them wanted to stay, and I couldn't blame them. "Come on, Cait."

    "I'll be right with you guys, just give me a moment." I circled the strange creature and studied its form, something about it just kept drawing me in. Vault life was generally routine and uninteresting, and this was just so eccentric to me. I just wanted to understand. And when I pressed my hand to the glass, all hell broke loose.

    Its eyes flew open, the whole pod seemed to tremble, and the glass burst into pieces. The creature seemed to hover in midair, and its three fingered hand reached out toward me and appeared to make a fist.

    I could feel my throat close up as if something were choking me and my feet left the ground as I was lifted into the air. It never touched me.

    "Who are you?" When it spoke, I didn't just hear it, I felt it. The words seemed to echo in my head and it felt like the creature was amidst my thoughts. "Wait, no. You. I recognize you." It narrowed its eyes as the grip around my throat loosened, having me gasp for air.

    "I don't understand your kind."

    "U-um, excuse me?" I was surprised I was even capable of speech at the time.

    "You humans seek to eradicate each other from this earth, at the cost of those living around you. I find it a shame that you did not succeed." Its eyes glinted with malice. "But I could help with that." I felt the pressure around my neck again.

    "N-no, please- I don't know anything about that." I clawed at my throat to try and pry at the hand that was not there. "We're not- not all bad."

    Its face contorted into a snarl, and then it dropped me from its psychokinetic hold, onto a table covered in glass pieces, from a height much higher than I had previously assumed. The table shattered beneath me from my fall.

    The creature's eyes seemed to glow and the whole room seemed to be bathed in a violet light. It didn't open its mouth to speak but I could hear its words inside my head as clear as day.

    "Prove it to me."

    The room was quickly filled with a blinding fluorescent that seemed to swallow the creature, and just like that it was gone, and I blacked out.

    "We need to go." I was vaguely aware of someone grabbing my arm, and when I looked up it was Aaron. He searched the room with his eyes with a fearful look and was shaking his head slowly. "What the hell happened?"Then he gave me a look over and blinked in disbelief. "What the hell happened." More of a statement than anything, I responded with a feeble shake of my head.

    I finally noticed Joey and Wren were in the room as well, and were frantically searching the desks for something.

    "We have to leave, the Overseer has her Peace Officers out. I don't think they're feeling very peaceful today." Wren had grabbed a satchel and Joey was carrying a large binder. They individually carried a backpack and everyone seemed to be terrified. My own heart was pounding after my experience, but I couldn't tell if they were terrified of me (because of my injuries) or something else had happened. Probably both.

    My mind drew a blank when I tried to reply, and I glanced back to the one thing that remained undamaged in the laboratory: the vat containing my sister. Before I could say another word, Aaron sweeped my legs from underneath me and jogged to the door with Wren and Joey following suit.

    The speakers along the walls crackled to life. "All citizens remain calm. Please return to your designated housing, and be on the lookout for Cait Lanier. If seen, tell your nearest officer." The speakers crackled once more and began again. The message was set on repeat.

    "Are... We at the Vault door?" I asked. My head was still swimming and dull as Aaron set me on the floor. Joey had set his backpack down and pulled out a medical item of some sort and injected something into my arm. The pounding in my head and my leg seemed to lessen. During our training regimens we had practiced basic First Aid but Joey was the one to really excel at our work.

    "I have the doors behind you locked. We should be okay for now." I heard my dad's voice and gave my head a soft shake, figuring I was delusional.

    "Mr. Lanier we grabbed everything we could find. How close are you to opening the door?" Aaron was talking to my father with the satchel in hand. My father was hunched over the control panel with his Pip-boy connected to the device, pressing a seemingly random sequence of buttons.

    "Dad, how could you do that to Anna?" I felt tears well up and the heat rising up to my face. His concentration snapped and looked down at me.

    "You... Wouldn't understand Cait."

    "She's dead, dad. When can you just accept that?"

    "I was trying to help her! I was trying to help us. Our family."

    "You were just helping yourself, there was nothing to-"

    There was a pounding on the door. "Mr. Lanier, open this door right now!" The overseers booming voice was muffled by the locked doors but still prominent. My dad immediately looked back to the control pad and pressed more buttons. Unplugging his pip-boy, the metal door that divided the inside of the Vault from the outside world started to creak; loud, metallic screeching as a hundred years of rust and steel moved against each other. The Vault door was opening.

    Time seemed to stand still as the door fully opened. I felt movement in the air, something I had never experienced before. Wind. The world outside was nearly pitch black save for the slight illumination that the room we were in gave off. Stepping outside was stepping straight into the unknown.

    "Listen to me. If you set foot outside the Vault, you will NOT be allowed back in. Do not make this mistake." The lock on the door rustled, and then clicked.

    "RUN." My dad picked me up without hesitation and the five of us ran into the night. The door burst open with two Peace Officers with weapons. We hadn't managed to get far when the officers opened fire. I felt my dad's body spasm as he fell to the ground along with me. Pain shot up my leg and I had the first, and certainly not my last, taste of dirt.

    Through gritted teeth, he spoke: "Keep running, don't look back."

    The Overseer shouted out orders from the safety of the Vault. "HOLD YOUR FIRE. We only need him." The rest of her words were lost to the wind. Joey and Aaron threw my arms over their shoulders and hoisted me onto my feet. I felt the tears sting against my face as they dragged me away from my father and not to mention from what I had long regarded as my home.

    Lights from the Vault gradually faded into the distance. It felt strange to had been thrown into the wild after having grown accustomed to the artificial light that the Vault had constantly offered. The 'nights' within the Vault, while dark, had given off a synthetic feel. The darkness that the outer world offered felt peaceful, but at the same time gave the ominous feeling of someone watching or hunting in the dark. It felt pure.

    The only navigation that aided us through the darkness was our pip-boys. None of us dared to turn it's flashlight on in fear of being found by either Officers from our Vault (which, although highly unlikely, seemed like a reasonable fear at the time) or some other creature that we had never seen in our lives. Part of me hoped to see the creature that had resided within the lab. The night only got colder, and the temptation of finding a place to rest grew greater. We stopped for a moment, Joey tightening bandages around my leg and the others reassessing our equipment. None of us had opened my dad's satchel just yet; they seemed to be under the agreement that I would be the one to check its contents first, and that the moment seemed rather inappropriate, considering we were still running for our lives.

    For the most part, we were alone. Once in awhile we'd hear a movement in the darkness, but nothing came near us that we could see. We were exhausted, but adrenaline and nerves kept us going in the right direction.

    It wasn't until what seemed like hours in our journey that a man-made fire caught our eye.

    "Look." Wren said in an excited whisper. "I think it's people."

    We managed to creep closer to get a closer look, eventually from a close enough distance to hear laughter and make out their small conversations. While we hid behind a group of dead bushes, I could see 3 grown men in heavy armor sitting around a fire, with one of them cooking. He mentioned something in a gruff voice and the other two burst into laughter.

    "Do you think they're friendly?" I murmured under my breath. Joey looked at me with a nervous glance.

    "I don't like the look of-"

    "What d'you think you're doing!?" A gruff voice erupted from behind us. Before any of us could react, large hands reached out from the dark and grabbed Wren by the collar of her Vault suit. Her hands fled to her neck wildly as she choked and gasped for air. Aaron pulled out a .44 pistol from who knows where, and pointed it at the man, his hands trembling.

    The man snorted, and ripped the gun away from his hands. As he had it aimed right at Aaron's forehead, he hesitated, instead bringing his arm back and instead struck Aaron grip of the gun. He fell to the floor, unmoving. Wren was dropped carelessly on top of Aaron, and immediately began gasping for air, tears dotting her face.

    Joey's fists trembled at his side, and I felt useless sitting down with an injured leg. The man drew a rifle from his backside and gestured to my friends on the floor. "Try anything, and you all die." He sneered.

    The three adults that we had seen around the fire had heard the commotion and surrounded us. All of them were distinctively clad in heavy armor and had soot in patterns plastered across their faces. One of the men erupted into laughter.

    "Been out here for a week now and nothing to show for it... And these four show up out of nowhere! Vault dwellers too, reckon they'll fetch a nice price." He nudged Wren with his foot. "Not enough girls like these out in the Wasteland, eh?"

    Finally doing something productive, I managed to spit on his boots before he brought down the butt of his rifle against the back of my head.

    Chapter 2:
    I awoke gasping for air, and unable to move or see. Something had been pulled over my head that smelled like sweat and iron.

    "H-hello?" My voice came out as a rasp from thirst.

    "Thank God you're awake Cait," The familiar voice of Wren's soothed the quickening pace of my heart, and she at least sounded nearby. "I can't see anything."

    "Are Joey and Aaron with us?" I asked hopefully.

    "I can't tell." She let out a sigh. "I think we're in some kind of truck." The truck hit a bump, confirming Wren's statement as my whole body was jostled around. My throat was rasp with thirst and it pained whenever I felt the need to say something to Cait, so for the most part the ride to our destination was silent. My stomach pined for something to eat and my leg throbbed and burned; but I was still alive, and so was Wren. Though I soon began to wonder if I should be.

    Suddenly the truck seemed to screech and threw Wren and I to another wall of a truck. Shouts, and then gunfire. I could feel my heartbeat quicken. The gunfire seemed to draw nearer. The truck seemed to tremble as something was thrown, hard, against its side.

    Light seeped in through my hood as the door of the truck creaked open.

    Wren started to scream and thrash about, and I could feel my heart drop into my stomach.

    "Wh-- Slow down missus, I'm here to help." A man's voice cried out, but Wren continued to thrash about. My hood was pulled off, and in front of me was a man; dressed in clothes that reminded me of old Western movies that I used to watch with my dad (with a cowboy hat to top it all off). My lungs seemed to tighten when I realized that only Wren and I were in the truck; Joey and Aaron were nowhere to be seen.

    "Think you could reason with your friend there?" He looked at me hopefully and nodded his head toward Wren. I flinched when he brought out a knife from his leather belt, but the man just began to work on the ropes that bound my legs. "Your leg is a real piece of work."

    He brought out a syringe of red liquid and brought it close to the wound where I was shot. "I'm going to need you to hold still, alright?" I bit my lip and nodded; I didn't seem to have much of a choice in the matter considering that my hands were still bound. As the syringe was emptied, the throbbing and pain in my leg seemed to fade entirely.

    I let out an involuntary sigh. "Wren, I think we're going to be okay."

    Wren stopped thrashing but continued to eye the stranger warily. When he had managed to untie the rope around my wrists he began to make his way towards her.

    "If you come anywhere near me with that knife I'll kill you." She snarled.

    He raised any eyebrow. "Suit yourself, princess. I was trying to do a favor." He looked at me. "Look, I'm going to take off while you untie your friend here."

    I started to panic. "No, wait- Please take us with you. Neither of us know where to go."

    He scratched his chin in thought. "That'd be another favor... 'Sides, how do I know you ain't gonna stab me when my back is turned?"

    "We're both weaponless, and we're newcomers to the place. I don't have any reason to harm you." I tried to reason.

    "I might." Piped up Wren, and I shot her a glare. "Cait. Do you really think we should trust him? He might just want to kidnap us just like these guys did."

    "While I like kidnapping people just as much as the next guy-" He drawled and rolled his eyes but suddenly stopped short. "Are those Vault suits?"

    I looked down at the blue and yellow shirt and pants I was wearing, with 151 written on the front in large white letters. "Er, yeah. Do you know about Vaults?"

    He cursed and started to laugh. "Do I know about Vaults? They're pretty common knowledge. It's just... Man I'd never expect to see a Vault dweller up here on the surface."

    Wren cocked her head, and the man (though man wouldn't be the most appropriate term... He only seemed slightly older than Wren and I) continued to explain.

    "One of my ancestors were probably Vault dwellers at one point. But most Vault's have been opened a long, long time ago. Curiosity usually brings people out of those holes, but some of the wackos tend to stay in Vault's forever, thinking that the surface is still irradiated and super dangerous. Anyways, Vault dwellers are a rarity to come by. Didn't even think y'all existed anymore."

    "Is it... Dangerous?" Asked Wren.

    He scratched his head. "Depends on who you ask. There's some freaky creatures out here that'll attack you for no good reason, sure. But it's a hell of a lot more interesting up here than being cooped up in a hole for a few hundred years." The stranger nodded. "Yep, I'd probably die of boredom."

    Suddenly there was a groan outside and the stranger quickly grabbed his pistol from its holster. "We should go." He growled, and handed me his knife. I quickly unbound Wren and grabbed her bag and my father's satchel, which luckily appeared to be in the truck with us.

    The stranger had already disappeared outside and a scuffle and shouts could be heard. I quickly grabbed Wren's hands and pulled her outside. The bright sunlight outside took a few moments to adjust too, but soon I could see one of our kidnappers with their hands wrapped around the throat of our new friend. His pistol lay on the ground, his hands desperately clawing at the grip of the attacker.

    I glanced at Wren, dropping our bags on the floor, and she nodded. Despite our weariness, the fighting instinct that had long been implemented into our bodies from training within the Vault kicked in.

    Wren aimed for the attackers legs. I aimed for his head. His legs buckled and his head slammed against the wall of the truck, and his body slumped against the truck.

    "How in God's name did you two get kidnapped in the first place." Our rescuer was slumped over on the ground gasping for air.

    "Well, now we're even." Stated Wren, the tone in her voice suggesting that she was proud of her feat. "The name is Wren by the way."

    "Blaise." He stood up and shook her outstretched hand. Then he narrowed his eyes at me. "Like hell you're 'unarmed'."

    I gave a weak smile as I picked up my satchel and handed Wren her bag, introducing myself as my eyes stared at the cobbled road underneath my feet.

    "Give me a moment here to gather my belongings and we'll be on our way. I know a place." Blaise placed his hat upon his head and picked up his pistol, placing it back in its holster.

    "So you'll help us?"

    "Suppose so." He began to dig around in the pockets of both attackers, taking out what appeared to be syringes of the same red liquid he gave me for my leg, and small boxes of bullets. Wren made a scoffing noise as Blaise took one of their jackets as well.

    "Well, you two are gonna need something to wear other than those Vault suits." He explained. "You're a big blue walking target for these raiders."

    "Certainly. But I'm not wearing that." Wren grimaced at the mud, blood, and other unknown substances that appeared to cover the raider's jacket. She was always particular about what she wore.

    "Suit yourself." He shrugged, dumping the jacket on the road and started to walk away from the truck, expecting Wren and I to follow.

    It was eerily silent as we walked across the abandoned roads, save for the sudden rush of wings or feet as unseen birds and creatures avoided our path. The tall concrete buildings loomed overhead, blocking out the rays of the sun. Having been accustomed to the white and grey walls of the Vault, I realized something about the surface. It was beautiful.

    Sure, I had seen the murals painted by some of the creatives within the Vault that had depicted bright blue skies and white clouds overhead. But there was something more about experiencing it first hand. The world on the surface was painted by an unmatched mastery, where the sky had vivid hues of multiple blues and the dull green of overgrown plants covered the old buildings.

    At the end of the road we approached a bridge outstretched over a river. The bridge seemed to have its fair share of turmoil, with overturned cars and wooden panels that covered large holes in the wood of the structure.

    "This way to home." Blaise's spirits seemed to be good spirits as his upbeat whistling replaced the silence of the city. The sound of the water underneath us was calming; a steady rush that was almost rhythmic. "The river is valuable resource for us. Fish, clean water, and so on. If we didn't have the river, we'd be long gone."

    The bridge ended at a dirt road instead of the usual concrete of the city. There were no concrete buildings, and grass sprouted on either side of the path. A large statue of a saluting man seemed to stare at us as we walked past.

    Eventually we came to a sign jutting out of the road that stated, "Welcome To Pallet Town". There were a few wooden houses still standing (many appeared to be in ruin) on either side of the road and a large red barn with metal fencing along its side. A farmer tending to the crops smiled at us when he saw Blaise, and gave Wren and I a question look. Blaise just shook his head and waved back.

    "C'mon. I'll bring you two to Suzy." Blaise motioned towards us. "We should get some food in you."

    There were a few people outside the houses that would wave to us but go about their routines, walking to and fro. Some would try and stop us, possibly curious about our Vault suits, but Blaise waved them off, heading to a two story wooden building that appeared to be in remarkable shape for its age.

    The building had swinging doors, the kind you'd see outside of saloons. The interior had tables set up and a few people were sitting down, drinking and chatting away. At the end of the room was a bar with (somewhat) clean glasses, stools, and a woman busy wiping away the countertop. We followed Blaise around the tables and headed toward the woman.

    As Blaise sat down on one of the stools she looked up. Her eyes lit up excitedly. "Blaise! It's so good to see you."

    He smiled back. "It's good to see you too."

    "How was your latest mission and-" She glanced at Wren and I, "who might these two be?"

    "Well, you know how I was telling you about how the raiders have been crossing our territory again? I managed to stop one of their trucks and instead of weapons or anything, I had to save these two that were inside."

    Wren scoffed, and mumbled the words 'we had to save you too' under her breath. I glanced warily at her and elbowed her arm.

    "Please ignore my friend here. This is Wren, and my name is Cait." As I introduced us, I offered my hand.

    "The name's Suzy! Pleasure to meetcha." She took my hand firmly with both of hers and shook it enthusiastically. Her eyes widened as she assessed our clothes. "Vault dwellers! Wow, that's not something you see everyday isn't it Blaise?"

    "I suppose it's not."

    "Well, I'm sure you two must be famished. Lemme whip up some food here real quick for you two and later you can take some of the beds upstairs. Two bowls of noodles and two glasses of the finest Moo Moo Milk around. On the house." Suzy added with a wink.

    "I don't know how to thank you." I smiled warily and took the glass white liquid she handed to me.

    "Well, I'll be. Actual manners." She grinned.

    "Why don't I ever get free drinks?" Complained Blaise.

    "Cause you don't look quite as beat up as these two. And I know you have the money to pay for it." Suzy went to her cabinets and took out two bowls and food and went to work. "Pallet Town's a welcoming place for all travellers, so I'm used to helping people get back on their feet. 'Sides, we've always got stuff to do around this dusty old town so you two can always exchange work for a place to eat and stay."

    Suzy sliced up what appeared to be a red fish and placed it over the noodles, adding seasoning to the top. "You should go check on Ember, she's mighty upset about you leaving without her on your 'mission'." She nodded towards Blaise. He cussed under his breath and weaved his way out of the building. Washing her hands under a rusty faucet, Suzy placed the bowls of noodles in front of us. "Dinner is served."

    I was tentative with the first few bites, but as soon as the taste of the noodles hit the roof of my mouth I realized how ravenous I was. I quickly forgot my manners and downed the bowl in a few bites, and Wren was doing the same. The Moo Moo milk with its sweet and distinct taste was cold and refreshing, completely making up for its childish name.

    "That was delicious. Thank you so much." Wren said as she dabbed her face with a napkin. "We'll be sure to pay you back in any way we can." She added, firmly.

    Suzy laughed and looked at us in a curious way. "You two are certainly going to bring some life to this small town."

    Suddenly her eyes darkened. "Just remember to be careful in this world. I don't want to offend either of you but you seem rather naive, given that you just came out of a Vault I'm assuming. It gets pretty dangerous out here." She paused, and started wiping down the counter again. "Too often do I see newcomers die just because of inexperience."

    She continued. "I know Blaise is a good guy and all, but you can't go on trusting people. Everyone has their own goals and agendas; not all of them good."

    "Well... No offense taken at all, and thank you for looking out for us." I watched Suzy as she took our bowls and set them in her sink. "What exactly should we be looking out for?"

    "Let's see..." She sat down in a stool across from us. "What did you expect to see when you first came to the surface?"

    "I've seen paintings of the world. Read books." Wren listed. "I read about cars, biomes, places around the Earth."

    "Animals too?"

    "Oh yes." Wren's eyes widened. "I love reading about animals."

    "We don't have animals anymore after the war. We have monsters." Suzy seemed to lower her voice and we had to lean in closer to hear her. "Creatures that breathe fire and water, often attacking unprovoked. Some will rip you apart without a second thought, so you have to be careful."

    "Damn. I was hoping to meet a dog." Wren placed her chin on her hand. This seemed to snap Suzy out of her dark mood, and she chuckled.

    "Well they're not all bad!" Suzy smiled. "Technically they're just enhanced versions of animals. Here, give me a moment."

    Suzy left and disappeared behind a door, leaving Wren and I to give each other questioning looks. After a moment passed Suzy came back with a disgruntled four-legged brown creature in her arms. She set the creature down on the counter top and gestured proudly.

    It sat and looked at us warily, yawning. Covered in brown fur, it almost looked like an oversized rabbit with long ears that twitched. The end of its tail and thick fur around its neck was cream colored.

    "This here is Alfie. According to our resident prof he's something called an 'Eevee'. Found him scratched up pretty bad over on that bridge to the city 2 years ago, and he's been with me ever since." Alfie scratched behind his ear with his hind legs and curled up into a ball. "So apparently some of these little monsters are tameable."

    "Well he doesn't look too dangerous." Wren said, reaching out to pet him. Suzy nodded and Wren went to scratching Alfie behind the ear.

    "You'd be surprised. He knows a few moves." She took a plate from underneath the sink. "Alright Alfie, use shadow ball."

    Alfie roused himself from its slumber, ready. Suzy tossed the plate into the air. Almost immediately Alfie's hair stood on end and a purple, crackling orb materialized in front of him. Launching the orb-like object, it hit the plate dead center, shattering it into pieces.

    Wren looked at me. "I don't know about you but I'm impressed."

    Alfie puffed out its chest proudly, then went back to sleeping on the counter.

    "Shoot, almost forgot. I have a restaurant to run." Suzy snapped her fingers. "Im sure you two are exhausted, s head upstairs, and take any bed you'd like. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

    She smiled and hurried us off, pointing to the direction we needed to go. The wooden stairs groaned over our accumulated weight, but held. The area upstairs was smaller than the area downstairs, but still felt very open. There were multiple beds pushed up against the walls, some with blankets tossed haphazardly across them but a few seemed unoccupied. Wren and I chose two untouched beds to the far right.

    The aching in my bones sighed happily as I let myself lie in the (rather comfortable) mattress. With a few deep breaths and the blanket pulled up snug around my shoulders, I fell into a deep, unhindered slumber.


    Please let me know what you think so far! I'm very excited to revise these two chapters and excited to continue this story. Trust me, I have a lot planned. :)
     
  2. ShaysShaymin

    Lati
    (Latias)
    Level 1
    Joined:
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    It looks amazing!
     
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  3. Zero HP

    Zero HP I shouldn't be alive

    Zan'ei
    (Shelmet)
    Level 12
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
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    PokéPoints:
    ₽1,197.9
    I really like this so far. It's good as it is, but if you're planning on re-writing? Then I have very high hopes.

    A few comments:
    - In Vault 101 at least, Pip-Boys were given at age 10, and I think that's universal in Vaults. Plus most Pokémon Trainers starting at 10 tends toward a good match, so that might be a good adjustment as a background lore detail.
    - Your use of italics in the first chapter seems weird, I think you might have accidentally italicized half of the chapter. I can't tell when they're meant to be and where they're not, leaving me confused as to what's past and present and what's thought and what's spoken aloud.
    - I was so hoping it was going to be Vault 151! "If this is anything but Vault 150 or 151, I'm going to have to quit right here..."
    - You have a repeating grammar mistake when referring to two characters when one is the First Person. For instance: "...expecting Wren and I to follow." and all cases like that should be "Wren and me". You properly start with the other person, but should use "me" instead. As a hint to whether you should use "me" or "I", try getting rid of "the other person and". If you read that statement as "expecting I to follow", well that's just weird. And grammatically incorrect.

    I'm clicking to watch this thread. I am very impressed with what you've posted so far!
     
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