The Genie Game

You receive a bed made out of guinea pig pelts.

I wish I didn't have homework to do this summer for school -.-

 

Granted. Your homework during the school year must be completed in triplicate and in calligraphy. Have fun.

I wish for unlimited, incorruptible, unbreakable wishes.

 

Granted. You keep wishing and wishing and in the end you get existential and kill yourself when you don't know what to do with your wishes.

I wish my cold would go away...ugh.

 

Granted, your cold goes away, but you get the flu.
I wish my Ipod had better battery life.

 

Granted, but as soon as it gets better battery life, you drop it and it breaks/dies. You'll have to get a new one!

I wish no one could mess with this wish, and give me exactly what I want without any difficulties.

 

Granted. You just used your only wish.
I wish I had a sword.

 

Granted. You don't know how to use it and end up accidentally stabbing yourself.

I wish I had a pet unicorn named Joe.

 

Granted, but Joe ends up trampling you to death after being surprised by a squirrel.
I wish my computer lagged less.

 

Granted. It crashes instead.

I wish my phone charged faster.

 

Granted, but it overcharges and explodes.
I wish falling asleep was easier.

 

Granted. But you die in your sleep.

I wish my sister would be quiet.

 

Granted, her mouth falls off.

I wish Pokémon were real.

 

Granted. An Aggron kills you.

I wish I don't need sleep.

 

Granted. You can never sleep again.

I wish the next person to make a wish would start off their sentence with something other than "I wish".

 

Your wish has been granted.

It is an honest desire of mine, that the following request be fulfilled in some sort of magical way. Even if this desire of mine is to be corrupted in some sort of ironical way that leads to my person ultimately being harmed or frustrated, or perhaps even lead me to my demise, I, still, wish it to come true. With no further ado, this is it: "I want a cheese sandwhich."

 

Granted. Your cat poisoned it.

I wish that I wasn't so bored right now.

 

Granted~ You have so many things to do now and you don't know which one to start. You implode in confusion.

I wish my train pass card wouldn't keep on running out.

 

Granted. It runs out once and never refills again.

I wish for a tail.

 

Granted. You accidentally strangle yourself with it in the middle of the night.

I wish I had a more reliable model of phone.

 

Granted. But that phone gets stolen while you're walking.

I wish I didn't have a sore throat.