Sometimes it's no so unbreakable. What does it take to gain your trust? How about to lose it? Are you quick to forgive others' failings and to count on them again, or do you hold a grudge and never forget who has let you down? --- In my past, I've sometimes been too much of a nice guy and have been (quite frankly) screwed over way too many times. Sometimes I'll just lose five dollars that someone promised to pay me back, sometimes I'll wait idly for someone for an hour to hand over or execute my part of the 'deal' with a teamwork project, sometimes I will put in hours and days and good money into a combined effort only to find out that I was simply used. Those days are gone for me, and they might be too far gone. My trust is no longer given from the start, it must be earned by quantifiable deeds. And once that trust was earned and let down, it might be gone forever. I'm thinking back now, and I can't think of anyone I know now who has let me down in the past who I trust today.
To be honest, I'm not even sure that one can gain my full trust, because I'm too insecure to believe in anyone (even myself) without doubting at least just a little bit (yeah, I'm dumb I know), but it's easy to at least have me putting my faith in someone, you just need to befriend me, it's as easy as that And I'm really someone who can forgive easily someone, I hate being mad at someone even when they did wrong, I think that forgiving someone, and I think that it starts with understanding their motivations, even when they're bad ones
To gain my trust, I usually have to be in the background and see what I can learn. I'll ask kids that know me and see if the person is saying something completely different behind my back. That's how I usually decide. Or if I have a feeling they are a good person. Then to lose my trust they really have to push my limits. Currently dealing with that. I've lost the trust I used to have in a lot of the building I'm in and now I have none. I try to be helpful and get in trouble for it since I'm older. Plus people who give a few of us transportation. I now know there are things being said behind my back and that almost nobody can be trusted. I have to really know you to decide whether or not I can trust you again. But 90% of the time, once you lose my trust. You never get it back.
There's a reason I'm called the Taurus of my friend group. I'm stubborn and hard-headed, and earning any form of trust from me is a task harder than eating a bowl of worms, probably. Trust is hard to earn, but easy to lose with me, but it's even harder to keep for me. I'm just so stubborn when it comes to trust, so... yeah. Hard to gain, easy to lose, harder to keep.
Trust is such a complicated topic. To me, whenever I meet somewhat new, they usually start with little to no trust (obviously). But once we start to hang out, they'll slowly start to build up my trust. At first, it won't be too long till you get a decent amount of trust from me, but the moment they start doing anything that could harm that trust (lie, deceive, be negative, etc.), it'll begin to decrease. This doesn't necessarily means that they can't gain it back. Let's say that this person did something wrong. I'd be willing to forgive them if they explained exactly why they did the things. If the explanation sounds truthful, then I'd be willing to try to trust them again, but at a much slower pace then the first. Normally this would continue on until that person either becomes truly trustworthy, or they cross a line that shouldn't be crossed. Sadly though, I've never given someone my full trust, but that's because I'm always skeptical when I comes to people.
I used to (and sometimes but very rarely still do) trust people from the very start but after a couple of years of being used and my parent's divorce almost totally destroyed it for me. Now, I have to spend time studying the person to see if they are worth my time to try to form a relationship of any kind with them after they attempt talking to me for the first time. After that, if they make it this far, they have to show next to no signs of trying to use me and like at least some of the topics that I like. And that is usually where people fall short and I attempt to avoid them (depending on how bad annoying they are to me depends on the effort that I take to avoid them).
I've just kind of given up and now im a bitter ball of anger. there was one girl who i thought was my best friend that i lent my only pair of shorts to bc we were going to be running around and she just had a dress on and its been over 6 months now, and despite seeing her several times, she "keeps forgetting". its something small but it aggitates me like hella. I guess I also don't trust a lot bc I'm not the most liked person and I know it so there isn't a point
I trust everyone. Until they prove themselves untrustworthy. It takes a lot to do that as well. But...my policy seems to work. I've made a lot of friends by trusting them without listening to what others say. Sometimes it hasn't worked out but most of the time it does. I guess thats why my group all think I'm the leader. I'm really not but they think that.
I don't trust anyone, really. My family least of all, they've all broken it many times. It isn't very hard to befriend me though, I just keep guarded.
Trust... I honestly don't know what to say about this. It's pretty complicated. I usually judge whether a person is trustworthy after seeing what they're like around other people, then judge their interactions with myself. It's not a good system, but it's the only one that has really worked so far. But my trust... it's pretty fickle. Once I put my trust in you, and you lose it by... stalking my friends and me or doing something equally inappropriate or something else, you lose that trust. Boom. Gone. You can rebuild a bit of trust, but after you do something like that I usually won't give it back. It's possible to build back to the "I'd trust you with holding an important thing for half a minute" level. But you can't make it back up. And if the first impression and every action afterwards fails to win my trust, you're never going to get it. I mean... a girl borrowed $80 (HKD, so not too bad, but...) from me once in seventh grade, and she still hasn't paid me back. She's also borrowed $200 from a different girl... and still hasn't paid her back... after five years. Moral of the story? She's about at trustworthy as a strand of hair holding you onto a cliff. To this day, there's really only one or two people that I'd place my full trust in. I'm sure at least one of them knows who they are. There used to be more, but quite a few of them have shown their true colors. I would be more optimistic, but I've tried that approach up to fifth grade and here we are now.
Being a nice guy and naive is not a good combo. I literally had to change a bit because I was honestly super nice before and didn’t really want to be a jerk but now I kinda have to have this jerkish, sarcastic part of me that’s present most of the time since my friends and really most do the people at my school are like that. I’m still a nice guy to buddies and such but I can’t really be this way with everyone, sadly.
I'm cautious about people. There have been a number of times that I've been hurt by somebody that I didn't trust, but should have been able to (should have been able to because they were a teacher or in a leadership position, and if a kid can't trust the people whose job is to teach and guide them, who can they trust?). If I get really hurt by a person, whether I trusted them or not, it may not take me too long to forgive them, but I may never feel entirely comfortable around them again because I don't want to find myself in a position where I can be hurt. I don't think my trust is that hard to earn though. In general I'm pretty anti-social and 'shy' (I hate that word), but if somebody is willing to go out of their way to genuinely try to befriend me, I'm pretty quick to open up to them...I mean, not completely, but I'm certainly more open to them than I am to most everybody else.
at first im reaaaaaaally suspicious about someone but usually in the first "real" talks im able to decide if I like someone enough to trust them. this has both helped me score some of my closest friends but its also lead to backstab after backstab. but the people I trust the most haven't fucked me over yet so im assuming the people who id legit die for aren't gonna sell me out soon lmao irl, its a way different story. I do trust most people I see as being above me because ive known them for a while but the main thing here is that while I trust others, its very hard to earn mine. hence why I only talk to like..... 6 people ever irl because they've proven themselves worthy of it. its hard to open me up to you so that's a real honor lel
I once used to trust people very easily. But something happened which made my trust break into pieces. Still I trusted someone very much. But again, it broke. From then onwards, I never ever trust people so easily.
With friends and family I have known for at least several months, I can trust them without a second thought. They’re all nice people who I am very fond of. Due to generally being treated worse by people in my age group (in real life), I tend to feel more at ease around older people. That doesn’t mean I’m afraid to get to know younger people, but there is that slight fear of being treated poorly. After having so many people despise me for defending myself, I realized how harmful holding grudges can be. It can cloud your judgements and lead to assuming negative intentions out of those who do not. For that reason I refuse to hold a grudge on anyone.
